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  • Originally posted by BlueDressInToronto View Post
    What would happen if you called your Ex and asked to talk to your DD? Even if she says no it would probably be good to try regularly and document it. Maybe you will be surprised and she will let it happen.
    What would happen? Ex would claim it's her parenting time, that I am harassing her and calling her endlessly (even if it was only once) and apply for a no contact order/restraining order, etc claiming that Im abusive and shes scared. That's how she rolls.

    Comment


    • She ultimately would be unsuccessful in her attempt (for no contact Order) and it would only further draw attention to your ex's unreasonableness.

      Orders for restraint are given when someone has been told repeatedly (verbally and in writing) to cease and desist the action which threatens or harasses them. Often times one has to get police file #'s to corroborate the alleged harassment.

      If you want to speak to your daughter I'd simply call her and continue to do so until your lawyer advises you otherwise (surely she is capable of that).

      Comment


      • Ex replied about phone calls:

        As for phone calls, D4 still has never asked to call you as she does not really talk on the phone much as it is. As you know. her behaviors are different with you than they are with me so I think this is another example of that
        So that's that.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
          Ex replied about phone calls:


          So that's that.
          well you tried and you have her denial. Try not to let it get you down. Remember its not about winning the small battles, its about winning the war.

          Comment


          • I believe request for phone calls was 6 months ago was it not?

            She denied phone calls at a time when she thought she was winning the war.

            I would persist (in requesting and receiving phone calls) until a court told me otherwise.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by arabian View Post
              I believe request for phone calls was 6 months ago was it not?

              She denied phone calls at a time when she thought she was winning the war.

              I would persist (in requesting and receiving phone calls) until a court told me otherwise.
              she made her stand on it clear. If he keeps asking her it may backfire and she will say to the court he has been harassing her. Its a very fine line.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                Ex replied about phone calls:


                So that's that.
                Well. Interesting that she states d4 a acts differently with you than with her! Of course she does. You are trying to give her both parents, allow her to express her feelings and talk about her mother while your ex probably bans any mention of you. In her world you do not exist.

                If given sole you will cease to exist. Joint you will have to fight to stay in her world. Sole to you both parents will have meaningful parts to play in d4 upbringing.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                  she made her stand on it clear. If he keeps asking her it may backfire and she will say to the court he has been harassing her. Its a very fine line.
                  I disagree. Court would question why child cannot phone the parent.

                  If anything were to come out of this (doubtful - ex would have to stay in Ontario to initiate anything) I believe it would be an Order instructing ex to arrange phone/skype on a regular basis.

                  The matter has not been dealt with yet in court. I do not believe there has even been any discussion of phone calls in the presence of a conference judge (LF32's lawyer is lousy IMO).

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by arabian View Post
                    I disagree. Court would question why child cannot phone the parent.

                    If anything were to come out of this (doubtful - ex would have to stay in Ontario to initiate anything) I believe it would be an Order instructing ex to arrange phone/skype on a regular basis.

                    The matter has not been dealt with yet in court. I do not believe there has even been any discussion of phone calls in the presence of a conference judge (LF32's lawyer is lousy IMO).
                    but if she was to call the police on him for "harassing phone calls" the police would tell him to stop and to take it to court.

                    He has asked and got her stance on it so now he has proof to take to court and get it court ordered. Considering that is the only way his ex will do anything it is his best option.

                    Comment


                    • Police would laugh at her and tell her to talk to her lawyer. Police are averse to getting involved with family matters unless there is a distinct threat of violence. Calling and asking to speak to your child doesn't come remotely close to anything.

                      I really think this prevailing paranoid of "what ifs" is not something that serves LF32 well. He is a parent and simply wants to speak to his child when she is not with him.

                      Obviously these 2 people need to get things resolved. Is that to happen anytime soon? Not a chance. You have a slick, experienced legal aid lawyer vs. an incompetent lawyer. You have an intimidated father and a lying ruthless mother.

                      Comment


                      • What would happen if you allowed D4 to call her mother during your parenting time? Does she ever ask to call her mother?

                        Would be interesting to see if she could carry on a conversation with her daughter and indeed see how she acts with her dad!!!

                        Comment


                        • I'd write back something like

                          D4 does tell me that she'd like to talk to me on the phone from your house, so I'd like to introduce a single phone call to break up the six-day long access gap. Please let me know when the most convenient time to call would be during the weekend when she's with you. This way, she also gets more used to talking on the phone when she's with you. I could call you, or you could call me.

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                          • My nephew is 2 and I skype with him once a week. My nieces would video call me (before skype) from the ages of 4-10. They also talked on the phone with me as young as two. This is total bs. She doesnt want to do it. I agree with Rioe. Even if its broached as a "lets try it so she gets used it going forward" type of thing.

                            Your ex wants to just say no to everything regardless of the request. If it will make you happy in any way the answer is no. What a b!&@$

                            Comment


                            • Yeah it sucks the way he is being treated by his ex. He's probably smart by not engaging with her. I'm a much more aggressive individual (ya think?) and I constantly have to remind myself that child custody crapola is a totally different thing than divorce. I don't know how people can stand the gatekeeping/false accusations/ego trips which seems to be a daily occurrence for many going through this.

                              Hang in there LF32. We're rooting for ya!

                              Comment


                              • The worst that could happen is that she says no, and then he has a bit more ammunition to show a judge why she shouldn't have sole custody.

                                Comment

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