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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 05-12-2011, 03:36 PM
Canadaguy Canadaguy is offline
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Default The King Solomon Story

So why is it that every lawyer, advisor, or social worker references this story when two sides in a divorce cannot reach a seperation or custody agreement? How does this story apply to life currently, and how the law is written in child custody battles.

Here is the story just in case you forgot it:

"Two women came before Solomon to resolve a quarrel over which was the true mother of a baby. When Solomon suggests dividing the living child in two with a sword, the true mother is revealed to him as she is willing to give up her child rather than see the baby killed. Solomon then declares the woman who shows compassion to be the true mother, and gives the baby to her." - (Wikipedia version)

I would love to hear a real life analysis of this story and what would really happen if the true mother would show compasssion.
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Old 05-12-2011, 04:11 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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How that would really go? Each mother would have a lawyer urging her to fight to the bitter end, and most likely the mother with the most money would win. DNA tests would be ordered, and the CAS and OCL would do expensive assessments to determine who was acting in loco parentis up until now. Each woman's partner would get involved and cry out for father's rights and why aren't they being considered in this custody battle?! It would get long and drawn out and the child would be around five years old before sole custody was ordered for one mother because she had status quo and they couldn't cooperate on parenting because the lawyers had encouraged their adversity, and the other one was forced to pay child support.
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Old 05-12-2011, 04:53 PM
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utopia - they both lose and dad gets the kid
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Old 05-12-2011, 09:41 PM
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@Roie, SO true and sad LOL!
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Old 05-12-2011, 10:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canadaguy View Post
So why is it that every lawyer, advisor, or social worker references this story when two sides in a divorce cannot reach a seperation or custody agreement? How does this story apply to life currently, and how the law is written in child custody battles.

Here is the story just in case you forgot it:

"Two women came before Solomon to resolve a quarrel over which was the true mother of a baby. When Solomon suggests dividing the living child in two with a sword, the true mother is revealed to him as she is willing to give up her child rather than see the baby killed. Solomon then declares the woman who shows compassion to be the true mother, and gives the baby to her." - (Wikipedia version)

I would love to hear a real life analysis of this story and what would really happen if the true mother would show compasssion.
The moral of this story is simple.
One I chose to follow in my fight for custody.

The moral is - the REAL parent chooses the childs well being over their own personal wants and desires.

When you engage in conflict in front of the child - you are splitting him/her in half. Killing him/her.

Sometimes its better to walk away from the fight having "lost", therefore ensuring the child "wins". In so doing - you also "win".

Seems easy enough to me.
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Old 05-13-2011, 01:24 AM
fieldgrey fieldgrey is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canadaguy View Post
So why is it that every lawyer, advisor, or social worker references this story when two sides in a divorce cannot reach a seperation or custody agreement? How does this story apply to life currently, and how the law is written in child custody battles.
Like many parables and metaphors we've inherited through generations, the meaning has been reduced to a simplistic distortion by so-called authority figures.

Typical of old testament, it's a selfish metaphor where we are supposed to feel sorry for Solomon for being forced into such a horrific decision while at the same time respect his natural authority. IE it's a metaphor that encourages sympathy for powerful decision makers who must suffer fools like us.

I think lawyers and social workers and other persons in influential roles using this metaphor are talking about themselves as Solomon.

I would challenge any quoter of this parable to explain why it's appropriate and how it assists positive outcomes to cases. They will drop the subject and back away... because upon any reflection it exposes the selfishness of authority figures and creates no sympathy for those subject to the decisions.

Rant over!

FG
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Old 05-13-2011, 07:27 AM
staysingle staysingle is offline
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The deeper, modern message from this timeless parable is....... if you're a man in this culture, stay single. The biggest negative risk factor for well-being in your life is to marry/cohabitate and have children. The current system in place will reduce you to ashes. The whole paradigm is over guys! Don't let your sons marry/cohabitate.
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Old 05-13-2011, 09:05 AM
AtALoss AtALoss is offline
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In regards to the last post... sad state of affairs that we just accept that reality. I am not debating its wrong and awful... because it is. But I also believe that if one is determined enough they can see change. Just need enough to speak up and fight.... right? Nothing comes about with out hard work.
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Old 05-13-2011, 09:11 AM
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I agree whole heartedly. Not enough men at this point have organized to start the process of pushing back. In time it will!
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Old 05-13-2011, 09:17 AM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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Quote:
The deeper, modern message from this timeless parable is....... if you're a man in this culture, stay single. The biggest negative risk factor for well-being in your life is to marry/cohabitate and have children. The current system in place will reduce you to ashes. The whole paradigm is over guys! Don't let your sons marry/cohabitate
I find it tragic how many people on this forum have reached similar conclusions.

There seems to be two scenarios that come out of divorce. Someone who comes out optimistic and starts to realize that life is short..full of promise..and does a better job picking a compatible partner the 2nd time around. (Optimist)

Or, the other scenario, sometime who learns bitterness. Who learns to deeply mistrust the opposite gender and their motives. Someone who lets past misjudgements taint every decision they make in the future. (Pessimist)

I will never descend into pessimism. My soon-to-be-ex is one man...not every other man on the planet is like him. My long, bad marriage was simply a life lesson that I'm going to move on from with more knowledge about what makes me happy and fullfilled and what doesn't.

I cannot imagine ever telling my children not to get married...or scaring them about marriage. Truly sad.
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