Ottawa Divorce .com Forums

Dad needs advice · #1 01-27-2020, 02:31 PM

I have a few questions about modifying a court order for child support. We have a court order that dates back to 2015 so many things have changed since but I have no idea where to even begin to ask for modifications. I have tried to talk with my ex to have this done without having to hire lawyers but she will not listen. We have 4 kids together, 3 of which are now adults. The oldest is 21 and quit university just before the end of her third year last february and moved in with me then so I don't think it is normal that I am still paying her mom for her. The second and third oldest (20 and 18)are away at university and they have their own apartment together, they come back to their mother's for the summer months. The 20 year old is in his third year of university and is going for a doctorate which will take 8 years to complete and the 18 yo is in her first year and still has 5 more years to go before she completes her program. The youngest is 11 and lives with his mother and I see him every second weekend because we don't live in the same city. I only have a grade 12 education and don't have a very good paying job (48000$/year). The two children living away are paying for their own apartment, food, school... everything, mom doesn't help financially but is still receiving cs for them. My questions are, should I still be paying full support? Also, will a judge ask a parent with a grade 12 education to pay for his children to get a doctorate? What are my options in regards to having changes made? Do I need a lawyer or is it simply a matter of filling out a few documents? Thank you for your time!

tmsrtl · #2 01-27-2020, 05:17 PM

I am curious what the answer will be here, I would think if the "child" leaves home, child support should be paid to the "child" not mom. This is what I will do hopefully. Its the kids money, not mom's as long as they are outside the home, so I would think.

"Also, will a judge ask a parent with a grade 12 education to pay for his children to get a doctorate? " I would certainly think so! Kid can have a good education.

Kinso · #3 01-27-2020, 06:06 PM

Quote:

"Also, will a judge ask a parent with a grade 12 education to pay for his children to get a doctorate?

Highly unlikely. Usually it's just to the first degree.

rockscan · #4 01-27-2020, 07:46 PM

Post secondary is entirely grey but for the most part�cs is not paid for a kid away at school and you are obligated to pay until first degree or 22.

If your kids aren�t living at home cs should not be paid as you are paying their school expenses. If she comes at your for your share of them, you subtract the cs that is paid. Or you can try to stop cs but you will be on the hook for your share.

As for any additional degrees, the answer is no.

ETA you dont pay cs for the kid living with you.

Also, if you arent with FRO or any other enforcement agency you just pay her for kid 4. If you are, you need a motion to change but you should do a calculation on the expenses of kids 2 and 3. Put together the cost of tuition, books, rent and food. Try to estimate how much grant money they would get (OSAP has an online calculator), subtract that from the total. Then split the remaining 2/3 proportionate to income. If that is less than cs for 8 months then fight her on it. If not, pay the cs and dont pay the school expenses.

You should know, my husbands share of school expenses at 50 grand was about $5000 per year at an even split. If you cs for each kid is that or more then stop cs but if its less than five grand, shut your mouth.

Dad needs advice · #5 01-28-2020, 09:35 AM

Thank you for your answers, it is appreciated. There is one more thing I'm unsure of, I will be moving in the same city where kids 2 and 3 live (the ones attending university) in a few months and they would like to move in with me rather than keep their current apartment and of course I would love that too but my question is, would the child support change? I suppose I would then pay her for the youngest who lives with her and she would pay me for the two living with me? I ask because I would not be able to afford to keep paying the same cs amount I am currently paying plus getting a larger apartment to accommodate all three of us, food and everything that would come with doing this.

HammerDad · #6 01-28-2020, 10:01 AM

Child support is paid to the parent where the children reside. If you move to the city where the 2 middle children live and they move in with you, while they are attending full time school, your ex would have to pay you child support for those 2 children. What would happen in this scenario is that you would pay your ex child support for the youngest, and she would have to pay you child support for the 2 older children that remain in school. You should read about the CRA and the Offset issues people are having here when coming up with the wording for payment of c/s.

Neither you, nor your ex, should be paying child support for the oldest child. They are no longer a "child of marriage" as defined in the legislation as they are over the age of 18 and no longer in full time school.

Dad needs advice · #7 01-28-2020, 05:44 PM

Is it a very long process to have the cs modified and what do I need to do in order to do so? I will be self representing as I cannot afford a lawyer so I'm really in the dark as to which forms to fill. Thanks again for your answers!

rockscan · #8 01-28-2020, 06:27 PM

Are you with an enforcement agency? If yes you need to file a motion to change. Depending on the province they will be on the attorney generals page. Fill that out with all the relevant documents like a financial statement and file it and serve her.

If you arent with an agency, stop paying for the kids and file for support from her.

Is it going to be a lot of cs? If it isn�t it may not be worth it although she would also be on the hook for kids school fees. You could also tell her how much you owe her monthly and how much she owes you and if there is any money you owe, just pay her that. For instance you pay her $500 a month for one kid and she pays you $400 a month for two kids, therefore you pay her $100.

Dad needs advice · #9 01-29-2020, 09:28 AM

Yes FRO is collecting the payments from my account so I can't just stop paying. So if I understand well, I simply file a motion to change for cs and I can also include part of the tuition fees in there as well or is that a different document I need to fill out?

rockscan · #10 01-29-2020, 10:11 AM

No you file the 15 (i think its 15a) and you can include the expenses. Remember though you need to subtract the tuition grants, figure out what the kids share of the expense is and then calculate her share and put that number in NOT the full expense.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Child Support and Spousal Support	BobbyShaftoe	Introductions	14	04-26-2012 01:52 AM
Notional Grossed Up Child Support Amount?	Gary M	Financial Issues	12	01-06-2011 06:23 PM
When child support ends...	paris	Financial Issues	3	04-23-2010 10:04 PM
Offer to Settle Child Support - Is This Fair?	#1StepMom	Divorce & Family Law	4	10-27-2009 07:50 AM
Will I be Paying Spousal Support?	North of You	Financial Issues	5	10-21-2009 03:05 AM

Ottawa Divorce .com Forums

User CP

New posts

Advertising

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

User Name
Password