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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #31  
Old 06-29-2022, 12:19 PM
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I guess it is all opinion based here. While it is very possible some of your concerns are valid, the way you present them at least here won't do anything good for the judge.

Look at your original post:

12.14 PM: the child began to complain: "It's, hot. Hot."

How do you know? According to you, you were video tapping on a distance, but then you wouldn't hear that.
How did you get a full custody? Did he not fight for it?

"screaming in her dreams, "No, no. Hot. Go away."
This may impress your friends, but not the judge.
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  #32  
Old 06-29-2022, 12:23 PM
Anotherday Anotherday is offline
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It was in playground. I was behind her, just 4 meters away. I don't want to give a location, but it's possible to be there and not seen by her. But he knew I was around because it was said In an email and he did not object, as he was ok with me supervising.

He did not fight for the custody because he did not want to. He said, he has no ace for child, lives in basement, makes no money and cannot look after child full time.
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  #33  
Old 06-29-2022, 12:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by respondent View Post
I guess it is all opinion based here. While it is very possible some of your concerns are valid, the way you present them at least here won't do anything good for the judge.

Look at your original post:

12.14 PM: the child began to complain: "It's, hot. Hot."

How do you know? According to you, you were video tapping on a distance, but then you wouldn't hear that.
How did you get a full custody? Did he not fight for it?

"screaming in her dreams, "No, no. Hot. Go away."
This may impress your friends, but not the judge.
Then he disappeared for 7 months. Before he was busy discrediting me, refusing times I was giving him to see the child.

Any way, It is a long story
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  #34  
Old 06-29-2022, 12:26 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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If he wont give you 48 hours notice then go out with the child. Get an email program that shows he read the message. Tell him you will not be responding to text messages any further. He can email you. That way you have proof.

You want him to be responsible but then you dont want him to. You want to protect yourself but also the child. This needs to stop. He has supervised visits ordered. He cant see the child unless it is supervised period. You tell him to make an appointment with the supervisory on these available dates and you will deliver the child to him then and there. Otherwise you will not be providing the child for parenting time. Thats it. And if he doesnt book and appointment or doesnt want to, thats on him. So when you go to court you put in your materials you did this in accordance with the order and he refused and didnt schedule the time.

Stop bowing to his needs at the last minute. Go to a coffee shop, the mall or wherever you need to go so you arent home when he wants to show up.
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  #35  
Old 06-29-2022, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
If he wont give you 48 hours notice then go out with the child. Get an email program that shows he read the message. Tell him you will not be responding to text messages any further. He can email you. That way you have proof.

You want him to be responsible but then you don�t want him to. You want to protect yourself but also the child. This needs to stop. He has supervised visits ordered. He can�t see the child unless it is supervised period. You tell him to make an appointment with the supervisory on these available dates and you will deliver the child to him then and there. Otherwise you will not be providing the child for parenting time. Thats it. And if he doesnt book and appointment or doesnt want to, thats on him. So when you go to court you put in your materials you did this in accordance with the order and he refused and didnt schedule the time.

Stop bowing to his needs at the last minute. Go to a coffee shop, the mall or wherever you need to go so you arent home when he wants to show up.
rockscan, I have followed your advise from before and have installed the program that tracks how many times email was read and opened.
I have asked him many times, there will be no visits if you are late. He still late, because he hopes I will say no, so he can use my message in court.
I have attached his message where he says, he takes the chld for 2 hours only maximum. otherwise, he will cancel the visit. It was given 5 hrs. DO you bargain the time when it comes to spend time with your own child?
The thing is, he has texted me with 10 minutes notes since the day of separation when I was not available. When asked for schedule, he disappered and neer provided one. Showed up a month late with the short notice (42 minutes) and I again said, it`s another long weekend and we are not in town. PRovide your schedule. He again, did not. \He uses my answers in court against me, as I did not give him the child when he was available and used my provided schedule to him, as if I was dictating when to see the child.

IT`s a long story but I do face someone who is busy to use the child to come against me, instead of being a father.
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File Type: jpg Screenshot - message.jpg (5.1 KB, 8 views)
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  #36  
Old 06-29-2022, 01:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
If he wont give you 48 hours notice then go out with the child. Get an email program that shows he read the message. Tell him you will not be responding to text messages any further. He can email you. That way you have proof.

You want him to be responsible but then you don�t want him to. You want to protect yourself but also the child. This needs to stop. He has supervised visits ordered. He can�t see the child unless it is supervised period. You tell him to make an appointment with the supervisory on these available dates and you will deliver the child to him then and there. Otherwise you will not be providing the child for parenting time. Thats it. And if he doesnt book and appointment or doesnt want to, thats on him. So when you go to court you put in your materials you did this in accordance with the order and he refused and didnt schedule the time.

Stop bowing to his needs at the last minute. Go to a coffee shop, the mall or wherever you need to go so you arent home when he wants to show up.
I am just scared to say no to his short notices and hope the judge will put a stop to it. Sometimes I wish he was reasonable and would not do what he does to child.. I know why he does it. But there is nothing much I can do if the judge asks him to see the child (because he says he dying to see the child and I am not letting him) and he sues me for the same, while does not exercises his time.

Do you know how many insane offers to settle were offered to me? Like almost he wanted me to report him when the child sneezes, every Saturday booked for him even if he does not shop up, the child cannot attend any other activities. Even my lawyer said, sorry, but his offer makes no sense. But those false and offers were not fair to the child but caused me lots of money.
He wants to know how many diapers were changed at daycare, but never, I swear to God, asked a question or called to daycare.
Daycare went with reporting online and sent him an invite 3 months ago - he did not register. Yet asks the court to be reported about every activity of child at daycare.
He just does this to hurt me using the child but never showed an interest for his own child.
He did not see the child for 7 months, texted me on January 1st, when he knew we are not home, at 9 PM, asking for a 5 minutes with child by elevator.
When I said, we are not in town, he used that answer as if I did not give him the child on purpose.
So what he does to child even during the visitation with her is what he normally would do.
The story long and too embarrassing for me, even though maybe it is not my fault to be naive. But whatever happened between him and me - child should not suffer for it.
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  #37  
Old 06-29-2022, 01:45 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Stop letting him hold you hostage. You have an order for him to have supervised visits for a specific time. You tell him to set up the time with the supervisor in accordance with the order and you will bring child. Thats it. If he says no or shows up or whatever, thats on him.

For instance

Dear ex,

As per our order you have parenting time at x time on x date with supervision. Going forward kid is available at x time on x date in accordance with the order. Please confirm 48 hours in advance that you have secured supervised time with x facility. If I do not hear from you within 48 hours I will consider you have forfeited your time with kid and make other plans.

Going forward I will no longer entertain last minute changes to the ordered parenting time or conditions other than what is outlined in the order. I will also not respond to any text messages changing the schedule at the last minute. If you have not confirmed by the 48 hours outlined, kid will not be available.

Thank you,
Mom

And thats it. I will tell you what will happen in courthe will go on in his materials about how you are withholding the child. Your response will be on xyz dates he showed up late and returned early, he was unsupervised and refused to advise what he was doing with the child, she came home wet/poopy/sick/overheated etc. On abc dates I requested confirmation of the parenting time and whether supervision was scheduled. I received no response. On abc dates I received text messages that the respondent was late, returning early, could not see child etc. As a result I advised the respondent I required confirmation in advance that he had secured a supervisor and that he would be seeing the child. The emails were viewed at x time on x date, well in advance of the parenting time. Hearing no confirmation, I made other plans.

A judge is not going to fault you for being his dancing monkey so stop being that!!!
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  #38  
Old 06-29-2022, 05:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anotherday View Post
Judge asked for the first 5 visitations to be supervised.

The father does not show up. Did only twice. Did not go well with the lady that supervised him before.

He said, he does not want anybody to watch him.

Child was fed, extra food provided.
I was not video recording the entire visit.
Only when something was wrong.
I am not allowed to interfere but to report if anything anything happens.
Does not matter how it looks for you.
The dad lives 3 mins away but says lives 83 km away.
As I said, my lawyer advised not to interfere during the visit.
I was watching just to make sure he won't take the child somewhere else.

You give him the whole food, cap, sun cream - he won't even look into the bag. This was observed by others too.
Your story keeps changing. In your original post you said:

Quote:
He arrived at 12 PM
Brought to box of snacks with no water, diapers, sun cream and car seat.
I told him that it is a lunch time and that he would be needing to feed the child. He said, no. I won't be feeding her. I am taking her to the playground instead.
I told him, snack is not lunch and you were informed about it. He was visibly angry and not happy about me telling him it was the time to feed the child.
But now you're claiming that you fed the child, so why would he be needing to feed the child if you already had?

Same with the sunscreen, you say you applied it but in your original post complain he brought no sunscreen, and claim the child had no sunscreen on:

Quote:
1.05 PM: I found Father and the child at Goldfinch and Finch ave. He bag walking with child towards Bathurst and Finch. The child walked under the sun, with no hat, sun cream applied and visibly with legs shaking, as she was already tired
You say you only video taped when there was an issue, but your minute by minute documenting there seems to be an "issue" every few minutes which suggests you were video taping almost the entire time, and must have had a notebook writing down every single thing since you have them all time stamped by the minute.

You even have it noted that the child went a whole 22 minutes without having water. 22 minutes?

Quote:
1.07 PM: by the hospital hospital, the child sat on the ground and refused to walk no more. She began to cry and was clingy. Father continued pushing the child to walk under the extreme hot weather with no water given the child since 12.45 PM
According to you, there was "something wrong" roughly 26 times during the visit, that you have documented between 1 - 5 minute intervals.

He has up to 5 hour visitation, if he chooses to exercise 1,2 or 3 hours of that, it is up to him. You need not to be the person supervising, or have your lawyer explain to you what supervising a visit means because this is not it.

Use a supervised access centre, or at the very least one of his or your family members, not a random person from your building.
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  #39  
Old 07-06-2022, 10:40 AM
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@Blink.

B-I-N-G-O
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  #40  
Old 07-06-2022, 11:36 AM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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This case sounds like gatekeeping to the extreme. The end result could be joint custody and a parallel parenting regime.
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