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Kkc · #11 06-10-2022, 03:03 PM

No hurt feelings

The issue is this is very much an alienation situation

He has insulted me in front of the children

It would be a situation if we were both there my daughter would feel compelled to insult me to protect her allegiance

It has nothing to do with “buddy”

My daughter has told the therapist that dad can’t do anything g right and mom nothing wrong..she’s young and that is very clear sign of allegiance and thinking black and white
It doesn’t help when I am insulted continuously by the family

iona6656 · #12 06-14-2022, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brampton33

This is really the wrong attitude to have. Did you expect your ex to stay single forever? Or for a partner of your ex to not be involved whatsoever with your children? If buddy goes, that is his call. He is there to support your daughter. Sounds like you have some hurt feelings about buddy, which you will need to sort out for the betterment of parenting your daughter.

I don't disagree with you that we all have to work with the partners our ex's choose to bring into our kids life- we all have no say.

However, in my opinion, I do think it's important to have boundaries- with your ex and their partners when it comes to kids. So when it comes to parent events- it's something that the parents, and parents only, get to set. I'm glad that there is a therapist helping here.

iona6656 · #13 06-14-2022, 10:31 AM

Also, I would lose my ever loving shit if my ex's gf/wife tried to insert herself into a mother's day event with our daughter. Quietly, of course- and likely to my therapist. But I totally get where KKC is coming from.

rockscan · #14 06-14-2022, 10:49 AM

My husband attended a graduation of his oldest a few months after we started dating. I went with him for the ride to the other city (four hours away) as he was anxious and his ex played games about them being a happy family in person but he was a monster in private. He struggled going alone with his ex having her parents and sibling there. A year later we attended his second child�s graduation together and it was ugly leading up to it as his oldest pitched a fit about me. We knew we were long term at that point and I was practically living with him. Completely cordial and nice to my face, talked shit about me behind my back�to the point where I had to leave the house as I could hear him defending me over stupid accusations. I stayed back, let them have their moment and even took pictures. Not at all imposing on their day. We never heard the end of it after that. How they couldn�t accept me, couldn�t understand why he behaved the way he did with me (apparently they can�t handle him happy) and how much of an imposition it was on mom to have me there etc. Even when he was seriously ill they were still rude.

I have NEVER tried to insinuate myself or even spend time with them. I went to a movie with them once and discovered his ex had called him freaking out about how unsafe it was and how she knew nothing about me etc. I�m not a fan of his kids to be honest and would not even consider doing anything with them going forward including having them in my house.

The sad part is the parents who play these games are hurting their kids. My mom was ADAMANT we punish any woman my father was with. Not that it mattered since he was out of our lives for years. Now I adore his new partner. I think more than him! Which is to say, it is shitty she is doing this but remember the kids are young and don�t have a say. As much as it hurts you, it is silently hurting them and the more angry you get the more she will do it.

Kkc · #15 06-15-2022, 04:25 PM

Therapist dealt with it, im going

Was agreeing with not changing schools because she moved

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