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  • #16
    I will second that statement about your ex getting spousal, through my legal advice I was told she will have a hard time after waiting a year of being separated to get ss, and after 2 years almost impossible, so in your situation I think your safe. Your ex is looking for an easy way out, I don't think the judge will like her lazy ways, especially if she dragged your kids away from you and into a worse environment. Definetly start the ball rolling and put a plan in place, make sure you an your legal help of some sort, have a step by step plan towards a goal of a better relationship with the children in the end and a better chance for your children to have a wonderful life. You will feel better once you see your first step towards your goal accomplished, stay healthy and level headed for the kids and for yourself! Don't trust anything she promises or says of course, she will try to derail your plan and slow you down.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by nomad View Post
      wife and i seperated 4 years ago, she moved my son's 6 hours away, left me with nothing she got all the house hold contents , we are both bankrupt , and now she is living with some one and has filed for divorce , now she support for her, she refuses to find work and just makes my life miserable , becuse of support and extra expenses i can't afford to pay anymore , how am i gonna survive, last month i couldn't afford to have my son's visit cause of extra expenses ,
      what can i do ?
      any one else in this boat ? all this stress is killing me ,
      how is a guy to survive ?
      Get the initial panicking out of your system, take some deep breaths and start focusing on facts, logic and reason. You need your head together to argue against her demands. Seek counselling if you need help sorting yourself out.

      Historical Facts:

      You and your ex broke up. There are kids. You made an agreement for your access and you pay CS and s7 expenses fairly, based on your income. She quit her job and moved away and is now involved in another relationship. I'm assuming you didn't fight to prevent her from taking the kids with her, or you lost that fight.

      Current Facts:

      She is now, four years later, unable to find a job and asking for SS. The distance has made it difficult to afford to see your children.

      What you need to argue:

      She does not have any entitlement to SS. She's gone four years without it, just fine. She chose to quit her job and move to an area with poor employment prospects. There is no reason for you to be subsidizing her life choices.

      The distance she moved makes access a financial challenge for you. You should ask that either she be made responsible for facilitating your access (she does the driving to your area) or that your CS be reduced so you can afford the access costs. Again, your access to your children should not be impacted by her life choices.

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      • #18
        Consider staying the night prior to the access pickup in a motel

        Consider staying in a motel after the drive back to drop off child

        along with wear and tear on car and gas

        2 times a month is the child support.

        I would check airports for flights ....I know Windor to Toronto (5 hour drive) is a 1 hour flight (porter airlines) costs about 350 buck round trip! (not including car rental)

        of course you would have to have 2 round trip flights just for 1 weekend.

        I don't know the contents of this Court Order (or when it was done) or when FRO got involved

        I do know "a change in circumstances" has happened that requires a new Court Order...or both parties can work this out without Court.

        Secondly...where your Court Order was issued is where all future Court takes place.......meaning your EX has a long drive to Court in your town. Which makes it tough for her.

        Anyways ...get back into Court to change the present order....and inform FRO on circumstances.

        Spousal will be tough for EX after 4 years and didn't seem interested in it for the first Court Order.

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        • #19
          thank you everyone for your support and info , I hope to God i finally see a judge who see some light to this matter , some of you feel the same way as I do I mean really quit your job take everything I worked for in our marriage and my boys and my dog and ask me to pay you to sit on your butt in another mans house on a reserve and I pay you to do so , no no no and never , shoot me first ....
          I agree after 4 years your on your own ,,,, let me see my kids and stay away from me ...... I just hope it goes that way ..... i will let you know the out come , thanks again keep the faith .....

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