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  • How do you guys do it?

    I am still living in the same home as my....ex? Hard to say....

    She's going out at night, she's having fun. She's acting like nothing has happened. Like I'm not even there.

    I can't take it. I feel so alone, so hurt, and so "replaced". All in less than 6 weeks.

    It's not fair... I hurt so bad, and she goes on like nothing.

  • #2
    I just wrote this all out last night while laying in bed.. I don't know what it means

    Why do I sit here like an idiot, holding my phone thinking you are going to message me back, when I know you're with him?
    Why do I let my feelings linger for you when I know you're over me, and under him....
    Do I think you're coming back home to me? No, that's silly. We can't both fit in this single bed. We can't both get around on my bus pass...
    Then what do I think? What do I say to myself everyday? How do I get through a day, knowing that even though you live with me, your heart's with him?
    I don't. I try not to. But I fail. I fail miserably every time. Every time you don't come home after work. Every pair of new underwear I notice. Every indescreet phone call you take, hiding in the bedroom. Every text message you don't return. Every night you come home late, after I've gone to bed. Every time I notice your wet panties in the laundry. Every night you don't come home.
    I failed. I failed miserably. I failed in life. I failed in love. I failed everything. Most importantly, I failed YOU.
    I can't even NOT think of you. The nearly eleven years we've spent together. And now, you're spending my time with him. Nearly two years of marriage, and now you celebrate days with him. Nearly four years in our home, and now we can't share a room.
    But eleven years seemed to vanish for you over a mere six weeks. Days with him. Nights with him. Days and nights away from me.
    No words. No accountability. No sorry.
    It's like I'm already gone.
    I wish I were.
    I'm too embarrassed to even tell anyone face-to-face.
    Too embarrassed? Or am I too emotional, and too sad? I don't know.
    I can't sleep. I'm sad. I can't eat. I'm sad. I can't think and some days, I can't move. I'm so sad.

    Comment


    • #3
      Its Normal

      Hi There,
      You are in an absolute normal situation.Any human who has emotions and is a family person will be hurt when going through Divorce.And it will stay on for some time so all i can suggest is STAY STRONG,LOOK FORWARD and KEEP YOURSELF BUSY.
      You are lucky atleast she is doing it after 6 weeks ,my ex had another child within 6 months of separation.
      If kids are involved focus on them ,if there are no kids then you have no reason to be sad.Consider her a burnt chapter(not closed) of your past and move on.

      Comment


      • #4
        i think we have all felt sort of like that when someone we love(d) has moved on. It takes time to heal and a grieving periond to mourn the lost relationship. Try not to lay all the blame on yourself.

        my suggestions are do text her or phone her. Do not beg her to come back to you. That just makes you come off as needy. The most important thing is to realize you are NOT a failure in all parts of your life. Sure it may not have worked out but maybe, just maybe this is how it is suppose to be. Maybe she just wasn't the one for you and you were not the one for her. As the days go on and you start to heal and decide to face the dating world again you may find the one who is a better match for you.

        The days will get better, just try to live day by day, do as the previous poster said, keep busy and when you are feeling like your world is crashing down on you remember, you will get through this.

        Comment


        • #5
          I'm Sorry,"Hurting",I do know what you're going through,My Ex just carried on with his life going from woman to woman,he stopped taking his kids when he had better things to do (which was very hurtful for them)....It's a process,it's a grieving process,like a death.....just remember,"This too,shall pass".....Keep your chin up,get out there,keep busy,one day will turn into another,the weeks will pass by,and believe it or not,the pain will ease and you'll start feeling like yourself again......Also,remember,You are not alone.....Take care of yourself...Debbie.

          Comment


          • #6
            I get it. Totally. I'm so sorry - and wish there was something I could do. If you're like me - no matter what anyone says here on this bulletin board to you, it doesn't sem to even come close to what you are feeling. You are going to go through a period of discomfort, it will suck. Just know this... better times are ahead. Don't give in, or give up. Think theoretcally of what you want now that it's over and persue those goals. Don't be lulled into a sense of complicity. Define your goals, particularily if you have children - and act accordingly.

            More to the point, life continues. You will find love again. You will laugh again. Just be patient until you accidently surprise yourself with either laughter or love again, and then you'll finally know - you are ok.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Hurting View Post
              I am still living in the same home as my....ex? Hard to say....

              She's going out at night, she's having fun. She's acting like nothing has happened. Like I'm not even there.

              I can't take it. I feel so alone, so hurt, and so "replaced". All in less than 6 weeks.

              It's not fair... I hurt so bad, and she goes on like nothing.

              Well we have all been through it so you're never really alone. We do know exactly what feelings you have and negative emotions. The very firmament of your life seems to be collapsing around you and confusion, anger, shock, fear, anxiety, depression permeate your days and nights. You've been sucker punched emotionally and are bent over from the pain. Lack of sleep, lack of appetite, lack of energy, lack of interest in common everyday things are now the norm.

              Things do get better and the sun shines again - but it takes time.

              Comment

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