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  • Just a note on the communication book. Make sure that you initial the bottom of each page and make a copy of it each time. Simple scan for your own records. You never know, this book might vanish and a doctored one may appear with submission that are made by others on your behalf.

    See he wrote in it that he agreed to this and that.
    Last edited by good_mom; 02-04-2015, 03:49 PM.

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    • I'm going to be the contrary voice here and say that this doesn't sound to me like a huge deal. From what LF wrote, Mom said that she was talking to some sort of parenting expert about transitions, not that she had signed Kid up for intensive counselling or enrolled Kid in some kind of therapeutic cult. Mom is free to talk to whomever she wants about whatever she wants, there's nothing irregular about this.

      And providing the name and phone number of the professional is a good-parent thing to do - now LF can call and ask any questions he might have directly, rather than having all the information flow through Mom. Rather than googling and worrying, why not just call and say "hello, I'm Kid's father, Mom gave me your number. I'd like to chat a bit about the issues you're addressing"?

      If this was some sort of long-term therapy for Kid, parents should be working together on the choice of therapist (which is unlikely, given that Kid is only three years old). But if this is some kind of parenting support for Mom or one-off consultation, it could be a good thing.

      LF may also wish to be careful about complaining that Mom set things up for Kid without consulting him when he's just registered Kid for JK without Mom's approval (and knowing Mom will probably object). I'm not saying he shouldn't have registered Kid, if spaces were tight and if he's willing to change plans pending the outcomes of negotiations with Mom, but he needs to be careful about being the pot that calls the kettle black.

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      • School not set in stone. It was undecided and didn't want to miss registration opportunity. D3 doesn't have to go speak with any potentially biased counselors without mom in that situation.

        i see what you're saying but i see the two different.

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        • Ex says its a group forming at the end of February for children 3-6 once/week. She said she cannot provide me with 3 names of different psychologists because of $ .. that we can not be picky. She said she needs my authorization. I suppose it may not be what I thought it was. If its a group then I should be able to attend you'd think.

          Regarding coming to my car ..

          she said:
          "If D3 asks me to go to your car I will continue to do so as I would expect you to".. D3's never asked her to walk her there .. but whatever. And it was the entering the vehicle I had issue with.

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          • I would ABSOLUTELY refuse to let daughter be involved with the very organization which has aided and abetted your ex in the false allegations against you. These allegations are still very much a part of your litigation.

            You have a benefit package now - access that.

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            • Call the number and ask for details. Then if you can, attend the session. See what happens. Then it shows a willingness to participate, you can gather info about the sessions and whether they are worthwhile and then decide. Still look for someone that your benefits cover though.

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              • I guess Im a tad confused.

                Where's the stuff about the nightmares, tantrums, sleeping with mom, attachment issues that ex was going on about. Now it's someone to speak just about transitions?

                The point is that organizations knows ex. Ex used them for every service they had. They gave her a place, counselor's, welfare .. even someone to attend court with her (until after motion).

                I'll give them a holler tomorrow. For now she wants my authorization though. Stripes has a point. Its a slippery slope not looking high conflict but still being weary of the team of ppl (organizations) to assist in her myriad of devious, sneaky actions.

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                • Be very, very careful.

                  Your ex will be bringing these people as her witnesses come trial.

                  Wouldn't she just love to get you and daughter involved with this "gang" !

                  Careful.

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                  • Don't assume everything is a gang or a cult. Just call and find out what the programme involves. Worrying and speculating leads to paranoia.

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                    • Yea I just have to tread lightly.

                      Extinguishing the gang/cult terms, it remains that my ex is known in this organization. Has a file with this organization. Has Domestic violence counsellor's with this organization and received every freebie she could find through this organization.

                      Having said that then absolutely, I will give them a call tomorrow. I will make sure I can attend. It's 3-6pm and I can only be there for 4. If it's just a support group that lends some good info with no private sessions and reports for court .. then I'm game.
                      I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt .. its truly difficult. There's positioning going on .. right?

                      She wants to stay in court. Its in writing. So she needs items for court. Again, I wish I could give her the benefit of the doubt .. but she doesn't want to settle in any way or she would accept mediation. She wants to collect stuff for her next free court dates.

                      And why no mention of this "parenting coordinator" she hasn't heard back from in 4 weeks? No mention of her at all. Im very confused.
                      Last edited by LovingFather32; 02-04-2015, 08:03 PM.

                      Comment


                      • Perhaps you and your ex and go and sit in on one of these groups PRIOR to involving the daughter?

                        At the very least I would want to know exactly what to expect. If the group is for children of domestic violence parents/families then it would make sense that the therapy is directed to children's safety and their fears of violence would it not? Your mere attendance at one of these things might possibly lead credence to your ex's allegation of domestic violence - watch for the pats on the head for acknowledging your family issue. That is what I would be afraid of.

                        Yes I am merely speculating and speaking out loud but it wouldn't hurt to have a bit more information before you plunge head first.

                        Time for giving your ex the benefit of the doubt comes after custody issues are decided upon. Your ex is scrambling to substantiate her claims that you are a terrible parent, a risk to D3 and don't deserve custody. Only a few months ago she was still insisting on supervised access.

                        I smell a big fat rat here LF32.

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                        • Just after I left the ex, I signed up my kid, who was then six, for a weekly group event for children going through divorce. It was pretty benign - mainly arts and crafts activities, some workbook stuff, and some guided discussions. The focus was mainly on validating feelings - it's okay to feel sad, confused - and coping with change - life will be different, but life will get better. It was run by social workers, housed in an all-purpose social services centre. Definitely, nobody was ferreting around looking for signs of abuse or trauma.

                          There was a mandatory parent component where we had to do hokey activities separate from the kids and have guided discussions about our feelings too, which was pretty useless, but my kid seemed to enjoy going. If this kids' group is anything like that, it should be fine.

                          To be honest, I don't really see the point of this kind of support group for a three-year-old - they don't have enough capacity for abstract thought to be able to really talk about feelings, and they don't have enough of a sense of time to grasp the magnitude of the changes in their life. But if it involves activities that Kid perceives as fun, she might get something out of it.

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                          • Big Rat is a understatement

                            D3 having problems with "transition" is a direct poke at LF32

                            Access with dad is the problem.....and that's what the victim hand puppet shrink is for

                            Goldilocks has since Feb 2014 visiting kid shrinks (without LF32's consent at those victim funhouses) .... only when D3 see's dad there's a problem and AND only now it needs his approval.

                            There's already a shrink file CURRENTLY made up by a kid shrink at the victim funhouse. Is my guess.

                            OP is going to have as many items against dad as they can drum up for SC

                            Victim counsellor ....means Goldilocks is still getting away (on her side) with pretending to be a victim.

                            These (in) Action House fools are circling there wagons where there only goal is protecting there stupid positions and running another dad into the ditch.

                            Men are not welcome at these safe havens for the downtrodden so it's doubtful LF32 will be included in this JOKE

                            Has the Victim Center

                            1) provided you their notes?
                            2) any file/shrink stuff already done for D3?
                            3) resumes and qualifications

                            Basically you don't get ANYTHING and all the OP wants is for you to be negative on stuff ....in D3's best interest. (what they want to show is in D3's best interest)

                            It's clear by the number of AGENCY's Goldilocks has already involved ...it's too much for a kid. (and your advantage)

                            D3 shrink stuff is purposely planned for just before SC.....because there will be nothing meaningful......OP just wants you to tell them to piss off..for the SC

                            Try a note (stall tactic)

                            OH great that appointments can start late Feb...there's plenty of time to give me....quals/resume of shrink......would like a copy of any files started on D3...has this shrink had any contact with D3 or Goldilocks prior. and the nature of D3's problems to be fixed that your unable to without professional assistance.

                            Just a few idea's above

                            Forget googling the shrink every darn citizen has a right to see credentials prior to accepting any dummy for hire

                            Always accepting Goldilocks "victim" crap is sorta acknowledging it exists...she isn't a victim until a Judge says she is .....one already said she's a player.

                            Lots of expensive Family Facilitator's groups out there for MESSY divorces with kid shrinks.....but only victim centers are only the ones Goldilocks wants.

                            and those places only watch and provoke dad so as to illicit stuff to make notes on.....dad was evasive....dad didn't know birthday date....dad has no set routine for child....dad looks to of been drinking that day.

                            STALL and look co operative by having nice valid points for the stall and when you get squat that you ask for.....then a follow up letter

                            ...I understand I won't be receiving shrink cred's ....and there are no other files available on D3 ( there's more than CAS or OCL or COPS ...goldilocks has used meaning your right ...D3 is over analyzed, but you need it on record on NO other shrinks for Court)) and......and...

                            FLIP it around on her.....don't get defensive because when you do you lose focus on your game and the big picture and the Court Process.

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                            • I inquired with my lawyer. Holy crap. She said basically what Mr. T was mentioning. She said that the organization does not have any psychologists to her knowledge.

                              She said to call them and let them know that custody is not determined (i.e - ex doesn't have custody) ... that I'd like their credentials and that she is welcomed to send her resume to my lawyer.

                              Again, I don't want to sound controlling or high conflict. Geez. I suppose it makes sense though right? We mustn't forget Im only able to see D3 through a court order and if ex could have it her way it would be never. Even when I won the motion I heard ex say to LAO lawyer "Can we fight this"?

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                              • It's already proven "by OCL biased notes" the Action House people already hate you (and ALL chat about you over lunch) so why go to a hanging willingly?

                                Court wise Action House filth is going to try and sink your boat, I see no fault in asking for a independent fresh shrink.

                                Doubtful a judge would hold it against you

                                This victims group are CORRUPT and lurk in the shadows, always Goldilocks is the front person for them. WHY?

                                If they were nice people working with the community why isn't Action House calling YOU

                                Odd how common sense simple questions have complicated answers

                                The bizzness of victims centers is manufacturing victims.....and your a beast that fits a plausible list of set criteria of a beast.

                                If the victims group won't supply basic information, release to you ALL documents/notes/files related to D3 (that they must have) (and it's a basic right of a parent to be given)

                                Then forget it.

                                1) stall by asking for common stuff (creds) and stuff every parent has a right too
                                2) later object with reason......and refuse

                                but lead OP on as if you will go through with it....until you hit the stonewall (that's the stuff u want for a Judge)

                                Comment

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