Need some advise!

[1ati2de]

Whether or not you did accept it, you will be deemed to have accepted it, because you didn't stop it. There is no point in wasting energy on it now.

All you can do is, pay the table rate, or try to make her a one time offer for a lump sum. Greedy people go for the lump sum.

Where is the table to see?

[FB_]

Whether or not you did accept it, you will be deemed to have accepted it, because you didn't stop it. There is no point in wasting energy on it now.

All you can do is, pay the table rate, or try to make her a one time offer for a lump sum. Greedy people go for the lump sum.

My greedy ex took a lump sum, although I was no where near op's situation and her entitlement was questionable.

[1ati2de]

My greedy ex took a lump sum, although I was no where near op's situation and her entitlement was questionable.

How much was it if you don't mind me asking?

[DowntroddenDad]

Where is the table to see?

The quick and dirty estimate is at mysupportcalculator.ca.

[FB_]

How much was it if you don't mind me asking?

$3000 in cash and $4000 in other expenses she was behind on that was not worth fighting over.

However our situations were very different.

My ex has two diplomas.
Worked our whole marriage except for two mat leaves.
I also took some Mat leave.

If she proved entitlement the numbers could have been.

Low of $0, mid of $115 and high $540 for 4.5 - 16 years.

Again her entitlement in my situation was not that same as yours so my numbers are irrelevant for you.

[shellshocked22]

Just a few thoughts....

1) All the "higher earners" on this board hear you with respect to SS but the realityis the law is NOT fair in this regard. I agree someone lazy and sponging off you should get zip after the marriage is over but the politicians don't care - they want to ensure YOU support her and NOT the government. However...

a) SS is tax deductible to you IF its ongoing monthly due to written sep agmt and/or court order. If you make 100K a year that means that with the deduction it essentially costs you about 50% net. That is, if you pay her $1000 a month SS its a DEDUCTION on your taxes so you save about $500 on your tax bill. Be careful about "lump sum" - its NOT tax deductible to you and I would be worried she would blow it very quickly and come back for more.... Family Law is often grey and if she cries hard enough who knows what the court might do...

b) Fight HARD for a firm termination date (ie. after so many years). You don't want to have to pay her for decades or fight costly legal battles. Maybe consider diminishing amounts to encourage her to work. ie. $1,000 amonth for first 4 years, 900 for next year, 800 a mnth for next year, etc.....

c) If she doesn't want custody of your son, then YOU would get sole custody and she would have to pay YOU child support which is non taxable to YOU the recipient. If she refuses to work at a minimum nail her for imputed min wage. See MySupportCalculator.ca


Sadly, pretty well a given she'll get half of EQUITY in house. However, if house worth $400K and your parents have a valid mortgage on it for say $100,000, then $300K of equity and she gets $150K.

Get a GOOD lawyer - many out there are worse than useless. Ask for referrals, perhaps on this forum.

Good luck ! And remember NEVER to get married or common law again !!!! I sure as hell won't - not worth getting wiped out financially

[1ati2de]

Just a few thoughts....

1) All the "higher earners" on this board hear you with respect to SS but the realityis the law is NOT fair in this regard. I agree someone lazy and sponging off you should get zip after the marriage is over but the politicians don't care - they want to ensure YOU support her and NOT the government. However...

Thank you for your response on this however its not right that I need to support her, a child by all means or someone that actually worked to assist in a so called family should get an even shake. I do have a good lawyer and he knows the game pretty good and I have had referrals for him.

Again thanks to everyone for the responses but stuff likes this states to get out of any relationship that starts to go sideways. Its becoming a sad state in society now when doing the right thing for a family is completely wrong.

[DowntroddenDad]

Thank you for your response on this however its not right that I need to support her, a child by all means or someone that actually worked to assist in a so called family should get an even shake. I do have a good lawyer and he knows the game pretty good and I have had referrals for him.

Again thanks to everyone for the responses but stuff likes this states to get out of any relationship that starts to go sideways. Its becoming a sad state in society now when doing the right thing for a family is completely wrong.

Know this, your lawyer, if he knows you have equity, will be willing to fight for you, even if the odds are bad. My accountant told me of playing a round of golf behind a foursome of laywers, they had identical hats saying "Bill 'em till they bleed". You could spend tens of thousands or more fighting to have no spousal support, then lose and pay court costs for her as well.

You may not think its right, but honestly, what you or I think doesn't matter. It is what the law and your judge think that matters at the end of the day, because they have the legal authority to make a court order.

[HammerDad]

Next time your STBX wife decides she is going to threaten anyone, including herself, call the cops.

If I were you, I'd be wearing a digital voice recorder 100% in the house just to cover my butt. Because if you wife is crazy enough to threaten to hurt herself, she may one day actually do and then blame you......and then watch you get kicked out of the house and be fighting from behind the 8 ball.

But if she is nuts enough to put a knife to her own stomach as a means of getting your child to eat (imaging that vision for the kid can't be a nice way of remembering his childhood), then she has more than a few screws loose.

As for SS, you will very likely be on the hook. Especially if she is as you described as there is likely some sort of mental issue going on, be it depression or whatever. So proving her mentally unstable may come off as a double edged sword. You may get custody of the child and the possession of the house (at least until equalization), but you may also get hit with SS for an extended duration due to the fact that she is crazy.

[DowntroddenDad]

Next time your STBX wife decides she is going to threaten anyone, including herself, call the cops.

If I were you, I'd be wearing a digital voice recorder 100% in the house just to cover my butt. Because if you wife is crazy enough to threaten to hurt herself, she may one day actually do and then blame you......and then watch you get kicked out of the house and be fighting from behind the 8 ball.

But if she is nuts enough to put a knife to her own stomach as a means of getting your child to eat (imaging that vision for the kid can't be a nice way of remembering his childhood), then she has more than a few screws loose.

As for SS, you will very likely be on the hook. Especially if she is as you described as there is likely some sort of mental issue going on, be it depression or whatever. So proving her mentally unstable may come off as a double edged sword. You may get custody of the child and the possession of the house (at least until equalization), but you may also get hit with SS for an extended duration due to the fact that she is crazy.

If she qualifies for the rule of 65 (age + years together) then being crazy won't be needed, the fact that they were married together without her working for that many years will be enough.

I agree, good idea, next time she threatens suicide and locks herself in, call the police.

[1ati2de]

Thanks for all the replies. Much appreciated. If anyone knows a real good lawyer in the Toronto area let me know please.