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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 05-04-2022, 01:45 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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[QUOTE=Hide on Bush;250406]Unsure where this is coming from but its wildly inaccurate. I mean some things here your just completely making it up in your own head...



The CAS report states "claim of emotional abuse has been deemed accurate". Report also states "Risk severity of continued emotional abuse is "Moderate"". There is 10 pages of notes from 4 different case workers (in the report) that has my Son saying all of the stuff his Dad has done.

I have a letter from the therapist at Maltby stating after speaking with my Son there was a risk of him harming himself when with his Father. That was the reason for the priority referral to a therapist for extended care.

I mean outside of the above, I have text messages that my Ex has sent to my Son saying he's just seeking attention by claiming he was going to hurt himself. Telling him to "stop being a drama queen", "this is stupid, stop whining" etc.



Ex has never had weekly access. No idea where you got that idea from. Not once in the 10 years of my Son's life. At minimum my Ex had no visits to supervised visitation from 2012-2016. From 2016 to 2019 he had EOW. From 2019 to present he had EOW and Wednesday for 2 hours.



No I didn't... I was seeking if I was required to have my Ex watch my Son while away for work for 4 months when I had my husband available.



True. Ex was paying CS on $69,000 a year while making $170,000+.



Little more complicated...

Ex filed to have:

majority parenting-time (having me only have EOW and something hes never even had close to)

split decision-making responsibility (something hes never had)

residency of the child (something hes never had)

CS to be based on where the child resides and not based on income. Ie wanted me to pay him CS while making $40,000 and him making $171,000

Removal of s7 expenses

All based on material that I am using my grandparents as day care of my children. Ex has even admitted that these claims are based on his belief and has no facts to back it up.

Ex also told my Son (in a text message) "tell your mom you want 50/50 and I'll buy you a Playstation" and "If you don't get 50/50 then you will never see [Ex's dog] again."



True. Ex called CAS saying I was withholding time. Showed CAS the security footage and they closed the file instantly because it showed me doing the complete opposite. However, a week prior to my Ex calling, I called because my Son was saying my Ex was beating his dog in front of my Son. This turned out to be true, noted in the CAS report, and admitted by my Ex.



Whoever the third party was, it only happened once, and that file is still open but delayed because Ex won't do mediation, participate in a safety plan meeting, or even take the calls from CAS.



True. Ex stopped his own access for 2 weeks, then started claiming Son was seeking attention because after two weeks he was still feeling the same. At that point, Son decided he was just not going to go because he didn't feel safe.



OCL isn't. But I am still working with CAS and my Son is having weekly counselling sessions while we await therapy. I don't know what your experience is, but when you seek therapy, its not a quick process to get long term care after a referral.

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillPaying View Post
OP has no interest in enforcing access.
/QUOTE]

I'd love to hear what else I can do. Please.

Between December 2021 and May 2022 I have (in order):

a) Provided an Offer to Settle offering the my Ex an addition weekend of parenting-time per month in addition to an extra week during my Son's summer vacation. I also stated I would facilitate the travel for the parenting-time (currently Ex is ordered to do all the travelling). Ex denied the offer because I asked for an extra 50km radius on where I can move.

b) Provided an Offer to Settle offering my Ex parenting-time of my Son every weekend from after school on Friday until 6:00pm on Sunday. Additionally, I offered my Ex to obtain an extra full week of parenting-time during my Son's summer vacation. This offer was denied by my Ex because again I was asking for an extra 50km.

c) I obtained a childrens counsellor for my Son after he made claims of the his Dad emotionally abusing him. That counsellor has been seeing my Son ever since.

d) I worked with my Son's teachers and Principal to get my Son to participate in the Rainbow Program which would allow my Son to express his negative feelings in a positive form through art.

e) As a result of the claims of emotional abuse, I contacted Maltby Center and spoke with a child therapist to try and obtain tools to ensure only positive remarks surrounding my Ex were expressed to my Son;

f) Due to my Son's claims of resorting to suicide if he was to go with my Ex, I contacted my Son's family doctor and obtained a referral for a child psychiatrist;

g) I contacted Maltby Center and obtained a referral for a child therapist through a senior mental health therapist who specializes with children;

h) I started working with my Son's Principal, Teachers, and my Son's counsellor to establish weekly counselling sessions with my Son and his counsellor during school hours prior to his scheduled visits with my Ex in order to hopefully encourage positive feelings for my Son to go.

j) Through an Offer to Settle, I requested Child Protection Mediation between my Ex and I which was subsequently denied by my Ex that day;

k) I requested Child Protection Mediation between my Ex and my Son which was subsequently denied by my Ex that day;

l) I have offered my Ex to meet with my Son at various locations where we would be present to spend the day with him, such as the gym, Trampoline Park etc. My Ex has not answer any of our offers to date.

m) I have offered for my Ex to make up all of the missed time with my Son at the completion of the therapy. Ex denied.

My Ex has stated "This is a parenting issue, not an abuse one. [child] doesn't like my parenting and you should be getting on board with my parenting to make this easier for me." All while that parenting has resulted in abuse claims and suicidal thoughts...

As for telephone calls and FaceTime, my Son refuses to speak with my Ex. My Son literally asked my Ex to write a letter apologizing for swearing at him, and my Ex still refuses to write it stating I will use his grammar mistakes against him (seriously).

Before the claims of emotional abuse and suicide, I have bribed my Son to go. He refused. I have punished my Son to go. He didn't care.

It also doesn't help that my Ex has texted my Son, as of two weeks ago, blaming my husband and I for all of this. Saying, and I quote "[child] your just seeking attention and your mom and [my husband] are giving it to you making you feel like you can keep defying me."

My Ex has continued to ignore that my Son has claimed emotional abuse from my Ex and has said he would kill himself if he would go there.

How else could I facilitate access.



I have filed two motions. One seeking my husband to represent me and the other for a dismissal because my Ex didn't provide any substantiation to his Motion to Change. This prompted an endorsement requiring my Ex to file an Affidavit to support his Motion.



This is why I am seeking assistance and thankfully people here are willing to assist. I mean if you would have provided anything even close to accurate in your post then even that would be helpful, but you left TONS of information out that I have posted in order to ensure your narrative appeared correct. I mean some of the stuff you posted wasn't even close to being true ie ex having weekly parenting-time, or me trying to get my Ex to watch my Son for 4 months...

Theres no need to continue to defend yourself. Your ex filed a motion and you have to respond. Now that its before the court you are obligated to follow through.
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  #12  
Old 05-04-2022, 01:49 PM
LMum LMum is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hide on Bush View Post
When it was denied the first time (when the emotional abuse occurred) I appealed it. It was denied again. Then when the suicide topic came up, the Judge sought it again. It was again denied.
First of all, please you don't need to explain yourself to other posters who seem to always question your parenting. Don't even respond to that anymore. You're doing all you can to protect your child. Keep at it momma, your doing fine.

And I'm so sorry that they wouldn't take the care. Seems like a slam dunk to me.

Now I don't know much about this as I didnt have to go down that route, but a Voice of the Child report?
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  #13  
Old 05-04-2022, 01:50 PM
LMum LMum is offline
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Quote:
There�s no need to continue to defend yourself. Your ex filed a motion and you have to respond. Now that it�s before the court you are obligated to follow through.
What Rockscan said !!!
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  #14  
Old 05-04-2022, 01:50 PM
ReFrame ReFrame is offline
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Might be a small thing, but I would change all your "me" and "my" into "applicant" and "applicant's".
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  #15  
Old 05-04-2022, 01:52 PM
Hide on Bush Hide on Bush is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LMum View Post
First of all, please you don't need to explain yourself to other posters who seem to always question your parenting. Don't even respond to that anymore. You're doing all you can to protect your child. Keep at it momma, your doing fine.

And I'm so sorry that they wouldn't take the care. Seems like a slam dunk to me.

Now I don't know much about this as I didnt have to go down that route, but a Voice of the Child report?
So I spoke with a lawyer about a VOC report and I was told it really wasn't worth the paper its written on. I was told that the child's behavior in addition to the documentation I have is substantial enough to allow a Judge to make a decision without spending the money for a VOC report.
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  #16  
Old 05-04-2022, 02:12 PM
LMum LMum is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hide on Bush View Post
So I spoke with a lawyer about a VOC report and I was told it really wasn't worth the paper its written on. I was told that the child's behavior in addition to the documentation I have is substantial enough to allow a Judge to make a decision without spending the money for a VOC report.
Gotcha.... and I again don't mean to overtake this post with this. But I would be curious to see what others posters on this forum has had with VOC? You have one lawyers opinion. Where as my lawyer recommended it if OCL said no.
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  #17  
Old 05-04-2022, 02:16 PM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hide on Bush View Post
Unsure where this is coming from but its wildly inaccurate. I mean some things here your just completely making it up in your own head...


This is why I am seeking assistance and thankfully people here are willing to assist. I mean if you would have provided anything even close to accurate in your post then even that would be helpful, but you left TONS of information out that I have posted in order to ensure your narrative appeared correct. I mean some of the stuff you posted wasn't even close to being true ie ex having weekly parenting-time, or me trying to get my Ex to watch my Son for 4 months...
Did I make it up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hide on Bush View Post
- Ex has only had every other weekend and for the past year, every Wednesday for a few hours. This has occurred since our Son was 3 years old. Prior to that, he had supervised visitations.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hide on Bush View Post
Obviously my ex has the first right to watch the child during that time, but can those 15 weeks total be used against me for a claim to seek split decision-making and split parenting-time despite a high conflict relationship and against an OCL assessment recommendation?
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  #18  
Old 05-04-2022, 02:19 PM
Hide on Bush Hide on Bush is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StillPaying View Post
Did I make it up?

Says right in the post you quoted EOW. Not weekly.

As for the other posts, it says right in it that I was trying to get my husband to watch my Son but was unsure if my Ex had the legal right to. And if he did, was he going to use that against me. If you saw that as me being ready "to leave kid with ex for 4 months" then you really need to re-read it.

Here I'll quote the stuff you decided to ignore...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hide on Bush View Post
So I have full decision-making responsibility, and ex gets child EOW and has been like that essentially since birth.

I am finishing up school and looking to apply to a position which requires about 10 weeks of training in Alberta, then 5 weeks in Vancouver before returning home.

Obviously my ex has the first right to watch the child during that time, but can those 15 weeks total be used against me for a claim to seek split decision-making and split parenting-time despite a high conflict relationship and against an OCL assessment recommendation?

Is there any case law that allows a new spouse that right to watch the child? I mean based on actual time with my kid, my spouse has had more than my ex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hide on Bush View Post
My plan of action is to show my ex that it is in the best interest of the child to remain with my spouse during that time. Child is living in a stable environment that has been consistent in his life for our 5 years of marriage. A routine is in place, as well as a parenting-plan with a substantial support system which doesn't include anyone on the ex's side of the family (by their own decision). My spouse provides the health and dental benefits, as well organizes with me medical, dental, extra-curricular activities, and counseling sessions. My ex doesn't know who the child's doctors are (medical, family, and/or dental) by his own free will. I have offered to provide the information and was basically told to go away. My ex doesn't know his teachers, nor does he participate in any school work/activities.

So...

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillPaying View Post
Did I make it up?
Surely looks like you picked and choose very specific phrases and ignored the rest.

Last edited by Hide on Bush; 05-04-2022 at 02:24 PM.
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  #19  
Old 05-04-2022, 02:21 PM
LMum LMum is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hide on Bush View Post
Says right in the post you quoted EOW. Not weekly.

As for the other posts, it says right in it that I was trying to get my husband to watch my Son but was unsure if my Ex had the legal right to. And if he did, was he going to use that against me. If you saw that as me being ready "to leave kid with ex for 4 months" then you really need to re-read it.
Stop it.... stop responding !! you don't need to explain yourself. We all believe you.
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  #20  
Old 05-04-2022, 02:23 PM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
There�s no need to continue to defend yourself. Your ex filed a motion and you have to respond. Now that it�s before the court you are obligated to follow through.
Somewhat right.

OP filed a MTC, Ex responded - now it's before the court.
This does not mean OP should continue to file useless motions.

Ex-party
Motion to stop cc
Now factum, 3 affidavits, gigs of pictures and videos....for a simple motion?
2 pages to respond to "what are the issues for this sc" (3-4 months away)
The blind shouldn't lead the blind. They need a proper lawyer - not encouragement.
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