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  • Ex's lawyer ignoring everything

    My ex wife (I assume she has instructed her lawyer to do this as well) has taken the position she doesn't need to respond to any of my lawyers emails. She has also been making major decisions on her own regarding the children but we have joint custody and I only find out after the fact from the children a few days later. My emails are polite and children focused but her response is to say everything is to be directed to her lawyer which gets ignored.

    I don't suppose there is any way to resolve this without court?

  • #2
    What is a major decision?
    What is not a major decision?
    Perspective is everything and mine may be off so I would like examples too.

    Court is the only way to force someone to do what they don't want to do.
    In this case your ex doesn't want to discuss major decisions.

    Sending letters doesn't sound like something you want to pay a lawyer for.

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    • #3
      She's trying to change the children's school for Sept and taking them to medical or specialist appointments without notifying me.

      I've sent several letters from my lawyer. They say court is the only option if the other party refuse to address the issues.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by jackandjill2000 View Post
        My ex wife has taken the position she doesn't need to respond to any of my lawyers emails.
        Your ex wife is correct.

        She has also been making major decisions on her own regarding the children but we have joint custody and I only find out after the fact from the children a few days later.
        Let her know in writing that you disagree with the major decision and that you expect to be consulted. Build up a bunch of these before you go to court.

        My emails are polite and children focused but her response is to say everything is to be directed to her lawyer which gets ignored.
        Send it to her and CC the lawyer. She gets to read it, and she gets to pay for her lawyer to read it. Wins all around!

        Make sure the first message you send is something along the lines of "As per your instructions, I am sending this to your lawyer as well. Please let me know if you want me to keep your lawyer out of the loop and I would be happy to oblige"

        I don't suppose there is any way to resolve this without court?
        Maybe. Using her lawyer to read your emails can get expensive quickly, she might change her mind.

        What major decisions did she take against your wishes? Unless it was choosing the kid's school, I cannot imagine what could be all that important.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by jackandjill2000 View Post
          She's trying to change the children's school for Sept
          Hah, I didn't read your followup, it was schools.

          Yeah, send a message that you don't agree.

          School is a major point of contention, I would expect it to go to court.

          and taking them to medical or specialist appointments without notifying me.
          This seems to be a lot less exciting.

          I've sent several letters from my lawyer. They say court is the only option if the other party refuse to address the issues.
          They are correct. Stop wasting money and get the court train started. Better to have it ready and not need it then not be ready and have chaos in September.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by jackandjill2000 View Post
            She's trying to change the children's school for Sept and taking them to medical or specialist appointments without notifying me.
            Originally posted by Janus View Post
            School is a major point of contention, I would expect it to go to court.


            Originally posted by jackandjill2000 View Post
            taking them to medical or specialist appointments without notifying me.
            Originally posted by Janus View Post
            This seems to be a lot less exciting.
            Yes, it is less exciting but still important. A parent that acts unilaterally like that can be admonished by a judge.
            When combined with a the school item and even alone it is a huge red flag.

            All sorts of short and long play dirty tricks can be pulled off in those appointments and it also puts one parent as the "parent in control" and that "cares most for me" in the eyes of the child.

            "oh, my child keeps coming back from their dads with bruises and marks; I don't know why" meanwhile the little kids dad simply takes their kids rock climbing or plays a bit rough in the back yard with them.

            I agree with Janus on the general approach, school will get this into court without it looking petty and have a handful of incidents to reference.

            Comment

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