Unreachable Co-parent

[Bellbaby]

Oh for the ambulance, I was told to ride with my son. I was told by both police and paramedics to go with him. I'm not sure why... they had called a second ambulance for me because i looked like i was going to pass out so I'm not exactly sure if that had something to do with it. It was just the shock of the whole situation.

His work hours, he only works half the time. He arranged it so he's at work when he has the kids. He has his own retail chain. So if I can't reach him by phone during those hours, I just feel into one of the stores and speak to him. Not in a bad harassing way. He's told me it's easier to do that.

His cell phone, he just literally does not answer. Ever. And he tells his clerk's to tell the daycare or school or anytime for that matter that he's unavailable. So these people listen because they don't want him to fire them. It's messed up.

The other half the time, he wants to be informed if I ever have an emergency with the kids. That was one of his requests of me. Which is fine. Except when he's not working he's always golfing, playing pool, weekend getaways, etc. So he just doesn't answer. Again.

It's like hitting a brick wall either way. But he won't let me put my Dad or sister down as the alternate emergency contact. And they live right next door to the school...

[good_mom]

The cost should be paid by father of the unborn child and you. Again were is this father?

The reason that you cannot take care of the 2 kids is because you choose to have a third child.

Put Dad and sister down as 3rd and 4th alternative...done.

[blinkandimgone]

The other half the time, he wants to be informed if I ever have an emergency with the kids. That was one of his requests of me. Which is fine. Except when he's not working he's always golfing, playing pool, weekend getaways, etc. So he just doesn't answer. Again.[

So you inform him. He gets a phone call with a voicemail if he doesn't answer when the emergency is at hand. Then a follow up email with more information at the soonest opportunity. Then the ball is in his court to attend if he feels it necessary. He said he wanted to be informed, he didn't say he would drop everything and show up every time *you* felt something was an emergency. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but you cannot force him to be there even if it is the right thing for him to do. You still have an obligation to inform him.

It's like hitting a brick wall either way. But he won't let me put my Dad or sister down as the alternate emergency contact. And they live right next door to the school...

He won't "let" you? And exactly how is he stopping you? You both get a contact information sheet from the school for your children. You fill out yours with father as primary contact for emergency if they cannot reach you and backup emergency contacts for your family. He fills his out the way he wants it. On your days the school follows your contact info sheet and on his days they follow his. It's really not as complicated as you seem to be making it. If there is a true emergency the school will typically call both parents anyways if it is a split family.

You are separated, you will need to accept that you don't do everything together anymore and he is NOT going to and certainly not obligated to do everything the way you would.

[Bellbaby]

I never even thought the other father should be responsible. That may be the proper way I should be going about this!

The other father wants nothing to do with the child and has requested his parental rights be severed.

[stripes]

With respect to your original question, I don't see that an emergency motion of any kind is warranted here. There is no emergency. If you think your family support people will be attending your mother when you deliver your next child, I suggest you take your OB's advice and hire a nanny to look after your other kids, and pay for this nanny yourself.

As others have pointed out, this is not an S7 expense. Your ex is not responsible for the costs associated with the birth of someone else's child. It would be great if he is able to take the other kids for two weeks, and it would be great if the father of the next child is willing to pay the costs associated with the birth, but you should be prepared to handle this on your own if neither of them will help.

[arabian]

I am very sorry about your mother. It must be extremely difficult for you at this time. I understand you want to be at her side as she is expected to pass away soon.

The sad but true thing though, is your mother is your past and present and your children are your present and your future. Your mother has care-givers for her. Your priority is, and always will be, your children.

You mentioned in an earlier post that you have relatives. Perhaps you will have to lean on them through this difficult time to help you?

Your ex has a chain of retail stores? You think he only works part time and spends most of his time golfing and pursuing leisure activities. I doubt that but it is quite irrelevant. If he is fulfilling his obligations with you then you and your children are fortunate. You can't force him to spend more time with your children. Your "perception" that he is a lay-about is just that - your perception.

Of course you have in place child support for all of your children (including the one you are expecting) correct? Use the money to hire people to help you. Again, you are fortunate and there are many people out there who receive absolutely no support (financial or daycare).

If he has family overseas you should contemplate your actions should he decide to relocate.... in other words, you should be deciding how you will manage things should you not have the current support from your ex that you now have.

I sincerely hope that things work out for you and that you find a way to manage. Look to friends and relatives and offer to reciprocate child-care with them?