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  #1  
Old 06-18-2018, 09:38 PM
Resident sceptic Resident sceptic is offline
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Default Dealing with narcissist or something

I am not a psychiatrist but my best guess is we are dealing with a narcissist.
We have been dealing with child abuse, both psychological and physical as well as alienation. We have provable examples of some of this but no one is listening. CAS has been no help, insisting that I am coaching the children or making it up, which is not the case. CAS even dismiss the hospital reports we’ve uncovered and the OCL seems to take their cues from CAS. The lawyer I had only wanted to back me into a corner and settle...meaning I loose everything including the children. I fired the lawyer, self-represented and appealed to the Court, who against all odds gave us an Adjournment and a new OCL report but I am afraid of the same old same old. I do not want to get into a situation that does nothing to protect the children and indeed delivers them into the hands of their tormentor who now has even more power. Need advice and a lawyer who has a moral compass.
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Old 06-18-2018, 11:16 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Who is "we" is there another party involved? I have a file with CAS, and from my experience they take abuse seriously and imo its best is to cooperate with them. But dont be calling them everytime the kids stubs their toe and blame the other parent They can definitely help you with a safety plan, just ask.

Most lawyers want you to fight it out so they can make more $$$, remember this is how they feed their families.

How old are the children, and what is the access schedule now?

I sometimes think my ex is a narcissist too, but without a proper diagnoses, it means nothing so I would avoid using that in any court document or dealing with the CAS and OCL.

I have not been involved with the OCL, (just CAS) but from what I have read here on this board, its not always the best route to take. Hopefully others with more experience with that can help you.

Research Canlii and find cases similar to yours in your area, see which lawyers won their cases, that could lead you to a great lawyer or sit in on a few cases at your local court house. Many on here have been successfully self repped, maybe keep on that road, but with more knowledge from the members here.
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Old 06-19-2018, 11:01 AM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Resident sceptic View Post
I am not a psychiatrist but my best guess is we are dealing with a narcissist.

Most people consider their ex to be some sort of narcissist. Since we care for our children, and the ex wants to do something different than we want, then they must care for them less, and care about themselves more. Hence, narcissist.


Most of us are wrong.


Quote:
We have been dealing with child abuse, both psychological and physical as well as alienation.
Those are some strong words, hopefully you have some strong evidence.


Quote:
We have provable examples of some of this but no one is listening.
What are your provable examples? We can probably tell you why nobody is listening. My best guess is that your proof is hearsay, or circumstantial, or unrelated to the actual purported abuse or alienation. It is hard to be objective when it comes to your own kids.


Quote:
The lawyer I had only wanted to back me into a corner and settle...meaning I loose everything including the children.
Lawyer might have thought that your case is weaker than you believe it is.


Quote:
I fired the lawyer, self-represented and appealed to the Court, who against all odds gave us an Adjournment and a new OCL report but I am afraid of the same old same old.
It likely will be the same old same old. To be honest, you sound a little emotionally distraught, self-repping might not be best for you. You probably lack the objectivity required to present your case well.


Quote:
I do not want to get into a situation that does nothing to protect the children and indeed delivers them into the hands of their tormentor who now has even more power.
Tormentor is a strong word. You really should not self-rep. I don't think you present your case well.


Quote:
Need advice and a lawyer who has a moral compass.
What is your definition of a moral compass? Do you want a lawyer who gives you advice, or a lawyer who does what you want as long as you pay? I'm guessing you want the latter. That will be an expensive lesson, and then a year from now you can come on the forum and regale us with stories of the corrupt justice system.
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Old 06-21-2018, 08:39 AM
Resident sceptic Resident sceptic is offline
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Thank you for your helpful replies.

I do not intend to self-represent but am super low on funds. My opponent is determined and has legal aid, virtually no bills to pay as I am saddled with most of them, so she has absolutely nothing to loose and I have at least one hand tied behind my back.
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Old 06-21-2018, 05:38 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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if you have provable examples of the kids being abused I think CAS would be jumping on it. You say that CAS has accused you of making it up and/or coaching the kids. To form that opinion they must of investigated the situation.

With the hospital report, what did that concern? What is the actual abuse?
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