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  • Extraordinary expenses

    Hi everyone I was just looking for some clarification on extraordinary expenses. My ex and I are divorced (went thru in Feb finally). So our 4 year old daughter has been involved in gymnastics for the past year and a half and we have always split the cost for it. Even whwn we were still together. I informed him that I signed her up again then she's done in summer as I wont' sign her up until the fall. She loves it and is starting to excel at it. I also signed her up for swimming and informed him how much it would cost and he agree to it saying it's a good idea she'll like it. Now it's time to pay his share of these expenses as I covered it myself this time around instead of splitting it and he refuses to pay. Stating that these are not extraordinary expenses and he can't afford to pay for such extravagances. Yet he can afford an expensive trip every 2 months. He's come to two classes in the past year and does not see how much she enjoys it and each time a class ends she asks me to sign her up again.

    In the agreement it states that extraordinary expenses must be agreed to prior to payment. The swimming is self explanatory. How about the gymnastics? She's been doing it consistently so given he didn't tell me he no longer agrees going by prior history wouldn't he have to cover his share? Just wondering. Can he just say without good reason that he no longer will part take in paying for it? If so I guess it's up to me to cover it.

    Also she just started Montessori school and he pays his share of child care exp. But we had to pay registration fees and for a uniform which ran me at $400 and I haven't even purchased the winter clothing yet. He verbally told me to send him the receipt but now says that all this is part of child support not an extraordinary expense? I thought it would fall under Section7(1)(d) which states that things that a child requires for primary or secondary school or education are considered extraordinary. She still needs regular clothing which obviously is part of child support however she wouldnt' need the uniform if it wasn't for the school we both agreed to send her to.

    Thanks,
    Neetz

  • #2
    He should pay his share of her activities, provided you followed your agreement and discussed it with him before hand for anything new. If she was already in gymnastics one would assume that she would continue and the expenses would continue to be shared.

    As far as the school stuff, not sure about the registration but I think uniforms would come out of child support. The uniform would be considered part of her daily wardrobe which child support covers.

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    • #3
      I was told by a family lawyer at my firm yesterday that activities like:

      swimming
      dance
      gymnastics
      daycamps
      etc

      are not extraordinary expenses.

      Extraordinary expense are matters like daycare, braces, expensive medications and educational matters (post secondary and almost certainly montessori school which is a cross between school and daycare).

      My ex is trying to get me to pay for daycamps she put my D4 into this summer. I am going to tell her "no".

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      • #4
        I wouldn't ask him for money had he didn't agree to pay these expenses. So I agree with you "hammer dad" that if she didnt' ask for your approval or it's not something that you guys have been paying for in the past then you should have to cover it. I have written agreement from my ex for the swimming as i said and also the gymnastics which we have shared up until this point. But now it's not an extraordinary expense? So what are my chances or recovering the money even though he agreed before? Should I even bother?

        He has agreed to many things before verbally then I see nothing of it so I'm getting a bit tired of his constant whining. Guess I should learn my lesson and not expect anything, financially or active participation in his daughter life except for the bare minimum. And none of these are my extravagances...it's his daughter's activities.

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        • #5
          You email him next time and ask if he is willing to cover his portion of the costs.

          Swimming, if it is the agreement, is a no-brainer......so long as it isn't some sort of one-on-one uber/unnecessarily-expensive type of lesson. In which case he could argue it is excessive and will only pay his proportion of normal lessons.

          My daughter is in her 2nd year of dance. I paid 1/2 both years. I am willing to continue to pay as my daughter really likes it. But do I have too??? I don't believe I am obligated to continue. However, moving forward, I will probably be changing it up from the 50/50 that we pay right now to proportional on income after the child activity tax credit is taken into account. My ex makes about 5-6k more then me (like a 55/45 split). So I have a feeling it will chop down my cost from $200 to about $125.....my ex will not be happy.

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          • #6
            Swimming is about $84 for 10 lessons I try not to waste either of our money. And yes I take into consideration the tax credit at year end. What we have done is that we pay 50-50 through the year then at year end we adjust for proportionate amount. And I also figure out how much credit I get back for all the activities when I claim them on my taxes and give him back his portion. I don't see a problem with that but yes if your ex makes more it will turn into the biggest issue. Good luck!

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            • #7
              If it's tax-deductible and not something that could arguably be covered by CS, then it's a special expense.

              The kicker with special expenses is the "reasonably covered part". What's reasonable to MY household income and what's reasonable to YOURS could be two very very different things.

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              • #8
                Reasonableness is the key. Since she has been taking gymnastics already, he should have to pay for half. But I believe it is reasonable for everychild to take swimming lessons, and at $84 that is not much. depending on what you recieve for CS that might be under CS or if the CS is not much, it could be Section 7.

                If you were still together, would putting her into swimming be affordable? If it was then it should come under CS, and if it wouldn't be, then it would be XSection 7, and you need his written approval PRIOR.

                He should have to pay his share of her uniform costs, but regular clothing is covered by CS.

                Comment


                • #9
                  The uniform costs are a bit of a grey area as well. Clothing is usually covered under child support. The issue with school uniforms is that you don't need to buy them school clothing, so therefore it's arguable that the uniforms take the place of school clothes and therefore are covered by child support.

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                  • #10
                    but you still have to buy them clothes for every other day. You might be buying less, but the kid is still going to need 3 pairs of new pants (instead of 5). Meaning you are essentially spending MORE on the clothing budget.
                    And considering the age, you are going to have to buy a new uniform every year. I know the costs can be high, anywhere from $200-500 a year. IMO that is a lot and should be shared.

                    Maybe if the child was in highschool, and not growing, then the clothing would last longer, but this is not the case.

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                    • #11
                      Hi thanks for all the responses. Yes it would be affordable to put her in swimming and I have an email from the ex where he agreed that swimming lessons at that cost is a good idea. Agreement enough for me.

                      As for the uniform...I have already spent $400 and I haven't even purchased the necessary items for Winter. I got the bare minimum. I think that's a bit excessive and I still have to buy her regular clothing because she does wear regular clothes after school and on the weekend. I would much rather buy regular school clothing at a reasonable amount then the uniform. But it was both our decision to put her in the montessori. He did agree verbally that he will pay for half...although anything verbal doesn't seem to count.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by billiechic View Post

                        Maybe if the child was in highschool, and not growing, then the clothing would last longer, but this is not the case.
                        They're supposed to stop growing in high school???? My children didn't get the memo, we're on the third (or is it fourth??) complete wardrobe for each this year, lol.

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                        • #13
                          true, true. Maybe only I stopped growing in highschool (might be why I am only 5'3!!)

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                          • #14
                            Hey me too!! My oldest just hit 5'9" at 14 and size 11.5 shoes

                            lol

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                            • #15
                              My daughter is 4 and is in 5-6 year old clothes...you guys are scaring me....i hope she stops growing by highschool. lol I think child support should take the growth rate of a child into consideration. Ok maybe not.

                              Comment

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