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  • advice needed

    My attempts at going to mediation are not working. Everytime I speak with my STBX we end up arguing, and he says things like he won't go to mediation, he's taking me to court, or tries to change the terms of our verbal agreements for time with our daughter. I want to go to Mediation to get everything in writing, he is stalling on it, as well as selling the house because he wants to work it out. (15 years in an emotionally/mentally/ sometimes physically abusive relationship is enough for me I think)

    So 2 days ago I was doing repairs on the home. I took off the front door handle and deadbolt because I was painting the door. He had purchased a used door from the neighbour to replace the front door, but we had already decided it was too much work and we would just use the door handle and lock from it. So when I was done with the painting I installed these instead.

    So yesterday I get home and realize that there is no key to the handle (only the deadbolt) and I locked myself out. I finally got in and told him about it later. He now wants to move back home, as his mom has to move and there is no parking for him at the new place. I tell him I will move out, and he can come back, but the house needs to go up for sale in the next few weeks (as already agreed to). He says no, he won't be selling for a fw months, even though we can't continue to pay the mortgage. He says he will be there on Saturday and I had better provide him with the new key and let him in or he will have the police remove me so he can move in.

    What do I do? He knew I was changing the locks eventually, as he purchased them. He choose not to take the key, I said he could have it. I did not change the locks on him, or refuse him entry, but can I? I am trying so hard to make this work, to be fair for our daughter's sake, but he is controlling and I just want to be done with this. I don't want to end up in court as it will be a nasty battle that will hurt all of us, but it seems he's not going to cooperate.

    Advice???

  • #2
    I am going to put a key for the door lock into our daughter's overnight bag so he will have one when he picks her up tomorrow. That way he can't claim I changed the locks on him. I will ask him to call before he comes over though, as he doesn't live wiht us anymore.

    Does this sound reasonable? He knows I didn't "change the locks on him" but you never know what he will turn this into...

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