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Tired_of_court · #41 08-25-2020, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan

Her T4 and NOA are irrelevant but send them anyway. You can also outline what his share of the expenses will be. Nice how he questions if she will be living at home. I shake my head at these men when my husband�s ex claimed he was a deadbeat and didn�t care about their education...your ex is a jerk.

A great statement that I had shared with us years ago was �how you manage this matter is not my problem� that applies to his ex wife...you could advise him �how you manage your personal issues is not my problem. Our daughter�s educational success is.�

I figured they were irrelevant, and I will disclose them if I have to, but I'm not giving him her personal information without being forced to do so. He's entitled to mine, and he has that. He lists all these things he wants and sums it up with he isn't paying, which begs the question, why do you want this information then?

He blames the cashing in of the RESPs because "with you always taking me to court". Well, yeah, but not without ever giving him the opportunity to settle it amicably at less cost first.

$1950 for an entire year is a bargain for him. It's below 50% of the tuition costs, and allows for an over payment that he hasn't paid and won't for a while since he's 4 months behind cs through FRO.

I've politely asked him several times to just leave his wife out of the discussions. He doesn't. At one point, she did all the correspondence for him. I solved that by sending her email address to my husband and suggesting the two of them get together for tea and suss it out. Wasn't appreciated, but I thought I was making a really good point.

I'm going to use that line definitely!

I'll file requesting a lump sum $2K amount per semester and ongoing child support and let the poor judge sort it out, again.

I'm sorry Judge, I did try.

rockscan · #42 08-25-2020, 05:03 PM

My husband asked for his kids stuff but that was only because his ex kept saying it was unfair that kids had to contribute anything despite them taking a year off to work and claiming they couldn�t see him because they had to work. It was enlightening for his argument and also shut a lot of her bs down. In your case your ex is probably doing it to argue he doesn�t have to pay as kid earned enough. Too bad buddy it doesn�t work that way.

Tired_of_court · #43 08-25-2020, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan

My husband asked for his kids stuff but that was only because his ex kept saying it was unfair that kids had to contribute anything despite them taking a year off to work and claiming they couldn�t see him because they had to work. It was enlightening for his argument and also shut a lot of her bs down. In your case your ex is probably doing it to argue he doesn�t have to pay as kid earned enough. Too bad buddy it doesn�t work that way.

He would use to it highlight that she made enough money in 2019 to cover the tuition, but, like you said, that isn't how it works. With the T4, I'm concerned he'd find out where she works and create some hassle there. Who knows? I just feel uneasy about it, and it isn't a required part of our agreement. I learned to give up nothing I didn't have to and everything I did early on in this process.

This is her first year and she's going straight out of high school, so no time off. I anticipated that if she took a gap year that all of this would be highly difficult to get back, so I counselled her with that in mind.

She hasn't spoken or seen him in a lot of years by his choice. I'm sorry you are dealing with BS. My daughter would have rather had a dad in her life than a partially paid for degree.

rockscan · #44 08-25-2020, 07:52 PM

My dad took off when I was 13 and paid nothing. There was no FRO back then either. He learned the hard way what happens when you make selfish decisions. Its tough and I have been through a lot of therapy (my mother had a mental illness as well) but where I am now, the struggle was worth it. Your daughter will be resilient, strong and smart. Heavy price to pay but of the two I am glad I earned everything I did. Props to you mom for being there and fighting for her.

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