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Happy Holidays. Learning to adjust and move forward.

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  • #16
    Thank you DD and Janibel. I'm actually closer to the Windsor area and not a religious person but calling a local church or the Salvation army is a very good idea. I was also thinking about calling a local nursing home. There's so many residents who seem to be alone over the holiday. This will be the first Christmas without my mom so visiting an elderly person might be as beneficial for us as it is for them. I'm going to do some research this week and figure something out.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Tayken View Post
      Beachnana it is well known on this forum that I am strongly opposed to grandparents becoming involved in court matters. I am of the opinion that a family law matter is between the parents and no other party.

      So, I may be "harsh" with your comments but, ultimately, it is not your best interests that matter but, that of the child as defined by Rule 24 of the CLRA.

      See my highlight above... The child in question is not your child and although your title (grandparent) you are not "the parent" of this child. You are the parent to your daughter, whom is a grown woman who herself has her own child. I point this out in a harsh manner to save you having to hear this from a justice in a loud voice echoing down the halls of the court house.

      Overbearing / overprotective grandparents are common in court rooms and many need to be told to disengage and let their children be parents themselves. I have had audited a number of motions and trials in which the justice identifies that a grandparent is the cause of the family break down it is sad. There appears to be a subset of grandparents who are just over-involved in their adult children's lives.

      Don't be that person. It could have a SIGNIFICANT impact on the custody and access claim that your daughter has put forward. Your "helping" may in fact not be helping the situation.

      "When Helping Hurts..."

      When Helping Hurts - How Professionals Become Negative Advocates - Or Not - High Conflict Institute

      Good Luck!
      Tayken
      Duly noted. reference to "our little guy" goes for all our little family members its just our families term of endearment we use for them all. Sometimes they are "the little ones" We are a close family, who share in each others happiness and sorrows. I won' t apologize for that. And just because I am vocal on this forum it should not be assumed that I am interfering in anyway in the relationship before, during or after. They did that all on their own together and apart. I did not and never would go to the court room, deal directly with her lawyer or try and deal directly with the dad. If my posts infer that, I will need to be more diligent in forming the wording to reflect I am merely the information gatherer. Although I did get a little involved in the Christmas Celebration planning, after all I am a fabulous cook, a great decorator and have a big beach house to accommodate the family. And this post was my acknowledgement of a year of growth for our family in moving forward and accepting our new family structure. I have been very lucky and have been happily married for 36 years, so this forum became our source of knowledge and hopefully support when decisions were being figured out in, dare I say, a whole new world to us. But your comments, not so harsh really, have been duly noted and I will be very cautious of my involvement from now on.

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      • #18
        If Tayken used emoticons, perhaps the INTENDED level of harshness could be better understood.
        That might help! :-)
        (note my smile ^^^^^)

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