Hello everyone,
I am fairly new to this, I’ll try to be brief. My husband previously had an affair and we worked through it, or so I thought. I had chosen to stay and forgive for the sake of the kids (now 5 and 7). I have come to find out that he has another girlfriend, so there is no hope for reconciliation.
I know that adultery has no bearing on CS, but I am wondering about custody. I am the one who meets with school officials, goes to school events, make sure homework gets done, and is home with the kids most of the time (evenings and weekends, we both work full-time). Not only is my husband a habitual adulterer, he also has some other questionable habits.
He has a part time job two evenings a week at a restaurant, in addition to his full-time job. I have the kids when he works. He typically stays around after his shift for a drink or two at the bar, and on weekends drives home after.
He also parties a few times a month, and has claimed to fall asleep at a friend’s house and not returned home for the night on more than one occasion. Of course, he knew I was home caring for the kids, so he was leaving them with a responsible adult. When he is woken early the next day from a Saturday night out, he is belligerent and verbally abusive to me. It’s never physical, just shouting and vulgar language. I have recorded a few of his tirades. For example, a couple of weeks ago we were having the girls baptized on the Sunday, and having people over to the house. He was supposed to just go out to a friend’s house for her birthday and ended up coming home drunk at 3 a.m. (he drove), and when I tried to wake him the next morning at the agreed-upon time to help me get the house ready for our guests, I received a barrage or insults/foul language, which I recorded. He does seem smart enough to never let it get physical. The girls were home, of course.
I am truly not looking for revenge for his adultery. Sadly, I think I fell out of love with him after his first affair, and at this point I only want what is best for the kids. He is not physically abusive, I am wondering if any of this will help me get full or majority custody of the kids. I am not looking for him not to have access or visitation, I just question his parenting skills.
Any advice would be appreciated.
I am fairly new to this, I’ll try to be brief. My husband previously had an affair and we worked through it, or so I thought. I had chosen to stay and forgive for the sake of the kids (now 5 and 7). I have come to find out that he has another girlfriend, so there is no hope for reconciliation.
I know that adultery has no bearing on CS, but I am wondering about custody. I am the one who meets with school officials, goes to school events, make sure homework gets done, and is home with the kids most of the time (evenings and weekends, we both work full-time). Not only is my husband a habitual adulterer, he also has some other questionable habits.
He has a part time job two evenings a week at a restaurant, in addition to his full-time job. I have the kids when he works. He typically stays around after his shift for a drink or two at the bar, and on weekends drives home after.
He also parties a few times a month, and has claimed to fall asleep at a friend’s house and not returned home for the night on more than one occasion. Of course, he knew I was home caring for the kids, so he was leaving them with a responsible adult. When he is woken early the next day from a Saturday night out, he is belligerent and verbally abusive to me. It’s never physical, just shouting and vulgar language. I have recorded a few of his tirades. For example, a couple of weeks ago we were having the girls baptized on the Sunday, and having people over to the house. He was supposed to just go out to a friend’s house for her birthday and ended up coming home drunk at 3 a.m. (he drove), and when I tried to wake him the next morning at the agreed-upon time to help me get the house ready for our guests, I received a barrage or insults/foul language, which I recorded. He does seem smart enough to never let it get physical. The girls were home, of course.
I am truly not looking for revenge for his adultery. Sadly, I think I fell out of love with him after his first affair, and at this point I only want what is best for the kids. He is not physically abusive, I am wondering if any of this will help me get full or majority custody of the kids. I am not looking for him not to have access or visitation, I just question his parenting skills.
Any advice would be appreciated.
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