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Old 06-05-2021, 02:44 PM
Donald Duck Donald Duck is offline
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Default False allegations and calling police

After two months of the childs birth, the mother refused any access and after trying to reach her and convince her to let me see our child, I went to her home and asked to see the baby, she refused and although I was very polite she called the police who called me and said to not go to her place again and call a lawyer, as she already had one.

Five months later we were in court and she only allowed supervised access, I agreed as I wanted to see the child.

After supervised access began ( with a family member of mine) she once again called the police stating that the child was returned to her with a bloodied and bruised nose and that I opened up the car door of her car as she was driving away.

This was totally false, and she even fabricated a fake picture in court which can be easily proven was fake.

The police contacted me, we had a very brief phone call, I told them of my evidence and that was the end of it, and they said that I should call CAS as the mother had.

They also said the the mother was emotional and that there was no blood, and I asked them if I could come to the police station to show my evidence and the detective told me it would not be necessary.

I called CAS and they knew nothing about it.

This was leveraged in court to me accepting supervised access at a specific agency and after three visits, the other party said that we can now simply use them as an exchange facility, which we had been doing since the pandemic started.

Multiple police officers advised me that we should transfer the child at a police station and the other party would never agree and the Judge basically mocked me for suggesting that in court.

My question is the following:

Is there anything that I can do such as potentially seeking criminal charges against her ( not sure of the statute of limitations on this as it was three years ago) ?

Is this simply something that I show all of the evidence of at a trial?

I've made a lot of mistakes as I was unrepresented for most of the four years in court, but I want to safeguard that this does not happen again, to the best of my abilities and there has been zero accountability for any of her actions, and as a matter of fact, it has been an excellent strategy by her as I'm.still very behind the eight ball, so to speak.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts.
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Old 06-05-2021, 09:19 PM
tilt tilt is offline
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Do NOT suggest exchanging the child at the police station - Judges have repeatedly warned parents that it reflects poorly on their parenting judgement to even suggest such a thing. I'm surprised the Judge only mocked you and didn't reduce your parenting time.

Do not take legal advice from police officers. They do not know the law (especially family law) and their advice for some reason is biased towards conflict. If you want advice on how to proceed towards resolution talk to a social worker or divorce coach.

Do not pursue legal charges against the mother of your child. What, you want her in prison s your child goes to visit her there? You want her to pay some huge fine so your child has less money towards their needs? Seriously, give your head a shake on what you think you are accomplishing here. Calling police/CAS is something that a Judge would question your parenting ability and potentially limit your parenting time.*

You want to stop the conflict, not create it. I wouldn't even show it at trial - trying to paint the other parenting in a poor light instead of focusing on your own parenting strengths is VERY misguided and there is a lot of very explicit decisions from the bench on this exact issue. Stay in your lane and work on your self though formal parenting courses, counselling, and developing a healthy support network (if ANY of your family or friends have listened to any of these hare-brained ideas and NOT smacked you upside the head you need to cut them out of your life and surround yourself with better people).

*calling the police on the other parent is a control issue - even if the other parent called first. What it tells the Judge is that you want to control other people and when you can't, you will use whatever power you have to control the other person. So, when your child is a teenager and gets lippy, are you going to call the police on them too? You need to focus on relationship-building, (co-)parenting, and learning coping strategies for dealing with conflict that don't involve calling the police or CAS like you are a four year old threatening a sibling "I'm going to tell mom what you did". If you are a parent, act like an adult.

Last edited by tilt; 06-05-2021 at 09:22 PM.
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Old 06-06-2021, 05:17 PM
Donald Duck Donald Duck is offline
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Thank you very much Tilt!

To say that I appreciate your honest and straightforwardness would be an understatement!

Thank you again, very much.
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