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Parental child abduction: Where family law and criminal law intersect

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  • #31
    Originally posted by involveddad75 View Post
    Emergency Motions are a risky business, I would do an urgent motion and give the other side 7 days notice to respond, always frame a motion before a CC with respect to the child. and how it is perceived from the childs perspective.

    I was successful with an urgent motion before my first appearance, and before she even filed an answer. To have access restored back to equal shared.
    But my cc is may 22nd. If I served them tomorrow then the soonest court date for the urgent motion would be like tuesday may 6th. Which is pretty close to cc on 22nd. Cutting it too close?

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    • #32
      I am going to make a few assumptions here.

      You have asked in writing to agree to your point of view that access and overnights should resume. She has refused.
      Your not seeing your child at the moment.
      Your child is under 3 (based on your previous post about not seeing your baby).
      You understand that at a cc nothing will happen unless it is on consent.

      So you base you motion on the following.

      1. You believe your child will benefit from having two equally involved parents, as was the case before separation.
      2. You are ready willing and able to look after this baby.
      3. The urgency with regards to the motion is important. Your child has not seen someone important in their lives for the last couple of months (I think you said 3)
      4. 3 Months for a child of age (enter age) is like a life time. and the delay of a cc with no likely hood of resolution back to equal shared parenting is a delay which would be harmful for the child.

      Look up Orange County of California parenting guidelines. and select two schedules that work for you for the given age of the child.

      Word your motion for what you are seeking:
      Information in regards to where the child is staying.
      Motion material:
      1. An order for access as outlined below:
      Option 1.
      2. In the alternative an order as outlined below:
      Option 2.
      3.Any other orders that are of an urgent matter
      4.Any other order the justice deems fit.


      Affidavit material:
      See above and always frame things with regards to your child.
      Don't: "I haven't seen my child in 3 months."
      Do: "Our child hasn't see their father."

      Don't: "I want more time with my child"
      Do: "Our child would benefit from more time with their father, it would allow them to build a stronger bond with both parents, and that will allow them to be more comfortable coming to both parents when they need comfort. If our child is sick, it would also demonstrate and show to the child that both parents are capable of looking after them when they are sick. This would benefit them as they grow into productive a productive member of society."

      Again these are examples and need to be rewritten for your own case.

      Good luck.

      Comment


      • #33
        Wow. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to post this. I'll be building from it. Of course she ll be playing the victim card. Should I stray from refuting her false allegations?

        Comment


        • #34
          Don't forget to sell yourself. The judge doesn't know you and only relies on facts. Show how important it is for the child to have access to you regularly and consistently. Show how a predictable access schedule is better for the child.


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          • #35
            In terms of selling myself, is it appropriate to include on affdavit how I'm a psych grad working in special needs field, have been the head therapist of an autistic preschool and currently am an educational assistant and behaviorist in schools. Im left alone with children all the time. I also don't want to come across as narcisisstic. And should I mention her false allegations and refute with evidence here (this will be her whole case) or keep it child focused?

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            • #36
              Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
              And should I mention her false allegations and refute with evidence here (this will be her whole case) or keep it child focused?
              I would not be too concerned about those allegations. If she is stupid enough to mention them - she would be doing you a big favor, since the allegations were proven to be unfounded.

              Bear in mind that judges see this type of malicious behavior all time and have come to expect it. Often times false claims are made in order to gain some advantage/status quo.

              I speak from experience, as in my case the abuse allegations went all the way to criminal court. My stbx was convicted and sentenced. This is what will matter in court - false allegations will discredit the accuser and will ultimately be to your advantage.

              The problem is the 'in between' court dates and the effect this is having on your kidlet ... It must be hell for you but keep your goal in mind and don't give in to the intimidation that your Ex is trying to discourage you with.

              In front of the judge, be the reasonable one (no mud-slinging) as you wrote above, keep things child-focused and let the Ex dig her own grave and hopefully jump in!

              Comment


              • #37
                This is how I handled false allegations against me . Keep In mind this is in my settlement conf.

                " there have been several allegations made against me in the previous settlement conference brief dated blah blah as well as concerns raised by the mother. The allegations the mother made against me are false . The concerns that the mother addressed are not indicative to the current situation and do not reflect how I parent our child. There have been no concerns before this current proceedings began."

                Not sure how well this is written but I'm sure u get the idea. You don't have to prove that does thing happened, she does. Take the high road and be the better person, don't try to cloud the judge with slinging mud.


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                • #38
                  Precisely what I'll do. We had arguments like any other couple, some where voices were raised and some not. But never in front of the child and nothing like she said. She's very good friends with the neighbors though. I'm not. Hope that doesn't work against me somehow.

                  I want to cooperate. I want to settle and get on with life for the sake of our child. I hope she agrees at some point.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Do not give details . No need. I do not know the exact details of the allegations I am simply generalizing.


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                    • #40
                      Keep this in mind ---Burden of Proof.

                      It is not up to you to prove that the allegations are false, rather she has to bring forth plausible evidence that her claims are well founded. Police reports, child protective agencies with reports, doctors, teachers and the like. Neighbors or her family members will only bring hearsay and won't amount to much in court.

                      Best to keep things simple, in fact less said the better. Whatever the accusations are - let them do their worst - without serious documentation, none of it will impress the judge, quite the opposite. Maintain your composure, keep on track with the child's best interests and you will get through this.

                      Many become jaded over the court system and just give up. It's a slow moving process and very frustrating. Personally I have found that if you are patient and willing to keep your priorities on track, you will succeed.

                      It's a tough journey but well worth it.

                      ''I want to cooperate. I want to settle and get on with life for the sake of our child. I hope she agrees at some point. "

                      It's been said many times in here: you can't negotiate with crazy and you can't settle amicably with a hostile Ex. Sometimes the best thing to do is cut all contact and go to court

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                      • #41
                        To what extent will the judge take the "abduction" (I wont use that term)
                        --> the unilateral removal of our daughter from her habitual residence and the emotional/psychological consequences of the child? 2-3 months away from a father who's been there involved in all routines since birth is like a lifetime for a young child. No progress is expected at the CC on the 22nd. It will just be an other opportunity for the mother to not give consent. Hence an EM on the 1st.

                        Will my motion, offering a week-about arrangement be taken seriously? Is it an emergency? Yes. Child abducted and hidden for almost 3 months. No charges or restraining order on my part. Fear of ex leaving jurisdiction to another province where "all" of her family lives (Im sure she's already there). I've been involved in bathing, bedtime routines daily since birth.

                        The law today is "BIG" on mental abuse, psychological trauma, etc and sees to be huge on including it in domestic violence, (despite the truisms) so I can assume its even moreso for the children right? The judges aren't just looking at "physical danger" right? That would be rather prehistoric given the literature and peer reviewed studies that outline the psychological ramifications a situation like mine has on a young developing mind. Our daughter has a right and deserves both loving parents in her life right throughout this process. It is definitely in her best interest.

                        Thoughts?

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                          To what extent will the judge take the "abduction" (I wont use that term)
                          --> the unilateral removal of our daughter from her habitual residence and the emotional/psychological consequences of the child? 2-3 months away from a father who's been there involved in all routines since birth is like a lifetime for a young child. No progress is expected at the CC on the 22nd. It will just be an other opportunity for the mother to not give consent. Hence an EM on the 1st.

                          Will my motion, offering a week-about arrangement be taken seriously? Is it an emergency? Yes. Child abducted and hidden for almost 3 months. No charges or restraining order on my part. Fear of ex leaving jurisdiction to another province where "all" of her family lives (Im sure she's already there). I've been involved in bathing, bedtime routines daily since birth.

                          The law today is "BIG" on mental abuse, psychological trauma, etc and sees to be huge on including it in domestic violence, (despite the truisms) so I can assume its even moreso for the children right? The judges aren't just looking at "physical danger" right? That would be rather prehistoric given the literature and peer reviewed studies that outline the psychological ramifications a situation like mine has on a young developing mind. Our daughter has a right and deserves both loving parents in her life right throughout this process. It is definitely in her best interest.

                          Thoughts?

                          Absolutely - but then again how would you organize shared parenting if the mother has in fact moved to another province/jurisdiction? There's no law forcing her to live anywhere. From a judge's perspective, arrangements would be doomed to fail. It's not like you could have the child one week here and one week over there? The logistics alone would be more cause for conflict in an already high-conflict situation. That would not be to the best interest of the kidlett especially if they are of school age.


                          I'm not a lawyer, just giving my opinion here.
                          Would either of you be willing to re-locate to facilitate a co-parenting situation?

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            This is tough. LovingFather32 does the mom suffer from any emotional or mental disorder of any kind and was diagnosed accordingly?


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                            • #44
                              Do you have any evidence or something concrete to back up your suspicions that your child is in another province?

                              Court can order child be immediately returned to jurisdiction.

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                              • #45
                                Parental child abduction: Where family law and criminal law intersect

                                And also don't forget to mention that you reside in the matrimonial home and the child should return to the matrimonial home which was the practise before the mother unilaterally removed the child from the home.

                                Or something. Like that


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