Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 05-15-2013, 06:52 PM
sjandme sjandme is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 176
sjandme is an unknown quantity at this point
Question Access to a vacated matrimonial home

I left the matrimonial home in 2011. A short time thereafter my husband changed the locks. I have not gone past the front hall since the day I left. (Only at the door front two times when I brought or collected our kids.)

He was given until September 2012 to buy me out - after our May 2012 Case Conference. Predictably he failed to do so. After dragging his feet for a couple of extra months, he agreed to list the house for sale.

It is still on the market - unsold since just before Christmas. (Great time to list a property - not.)

For some reason he unilaterally decided to vacate the house some time b/w January and March 2013.

However, I still do not have access to the matrimonial home. (I went a couple times trying to clean up the garden.)

The real estate agent recently told me that he could provide a key to me.

Today he claims that he had one made but cannot give it to me b/c my husband will not permit him to do so.

He also indicated that my husband's lawyer has claimed that I can have access upon request - but no key. (Please note that I would never agree to be alone with my husband in a private place. How am I to have "access" without my own key?)

Has anyone been in a similar situation - i.e. denied access to the matrimonial home - even when it is no longer the residence for the other spouse?

Bear in mind also that my husband intends to hold me equally responsible for all the costs associated with maintaining this house.

The real estate agent's contract with us is going to expire soon. I do not want to extend it and I'm sure he has realized this. His office sent me some papers to sign very recently - relating to price. If I had done so passively, the contract with him would have been extended. I don't trust this agent... not much more than my husband's lawyer or my husband of course. (I don't like "stbx". I am looking forward to just EX.)

Last edited by sjandme; 05-15-2013 at 07:09 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-15-2013, 07:07 PM
mcdreamy's Avatar
mcdreamy mcdreamy is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,445
mcdreamy is on a distinguished road
Default

SJ, I just took the time to read some of your initial posts - I grew up in a household with a violent and alcoholic dad, kudo's to you for having the strength to make the move out.

If the ex was still in the house, I'd be hesitant to offer you this assvice, but since he has vacated, thinks you are staying on the hook for all costs, and subject to no order being in place re: exclusive possession: take a copy of your deed/transfer to a locksmith (you are on title, correct?), have new locks put in, keep a key for yourself and offer a key to his agent.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-15-2013, 07:11 PM
sjandme sjandme is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 176
sjandme is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Oooh, that's good. I don't know if that is really do-able. In any case, I wouldn't want to do that. But thanks for the idea... a nice scene played out in my mind when I read your post.

Yes, I'm on the deed and I have a copy.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-15-2013, 07:36 PM
mcdreamy's Avatar
mcdreamy mcdreamy is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,445
mcdreamy is on a distinguished road
Default

Oh, it is doable. I've had to use locksmiths before to crack us into a house (under power of sale).
I'm not sure what other options you think you may have, if the ex has told the agent not to release a key to you. Why are you looking for access?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-15-2013, 07:45 PM
HappyDays HappyDays is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 286
HappyDays is on a distinguished road
Default

Locksmith is easiest. Changing the locks will give you a key, but then he'll probably just do the same anyways.

If you are given access upon request, then why not get the realtor to give you access so that both of you can do a walk through together. Husband doesn't have to be there for that, and realtor is not giving out keys.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-15-2013, 08:35 PM
mcdreamy's Avatar
mcdreamy mcdreamy is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,445
mcdreamy is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyDays View Post
Locksmith is easiest. Changing the locks will give you a key, but then he'll probably just do the same anyways.

If you are given access upon request, then why not get the realtor to give you access so that both of you can do a walk through together. Husband doesn't have to be there for that, and realtor is not giving out keys.
Now, just think about that HD. They currently have an empty, vacated asset. According to the OP, it remains on the books for accounting. She is entitled to access. He still, presumably, has a key and, accordingly, access.

He is, through the agent, denying her same. If she chooses to change the locks, and give all parties a key/access, that would make sense, no? Her move, is reasonable [actually, it would make the most sense for him to instruct the agent to give her a key, but people are asses.]

If he thereafter again changes the locks to specifically deny her access, exactly what do you think a judge would perceive of that move on his part?

Last edited by mcdreamy; 05-15-2013 at 08:42 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-15-2013, 09:10 PM
HappyDays HappyDays is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 286
HappyDays is on a distinguished road
Default

I agree. She should have a key and access to the house. He is in the wrong for trying to keep that from her.

She can either get a locksmith or bring a motion with costs, which would hopefully scare him into handing it over. In the mean time, if she just wants to look around and make sure all is well, then request access for the realtor to open the door for her.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-15-2013, 09:23 PM
sjandme sjandme is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 176
sjandme is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

I want to be in that house again and at peace. It's something to do with healing, an attempt to let go and move on.

I also wanted to be there with my kids once again.... with no pressure, no worries about something bad about to happen.

On a more practical level, I wouldn't mind checking the condition of the house... see it with my own eyes. The garden and lawn are obviously in poor shape. I think the interior is o.k. but I don't know it.

There is a rusting minivan in the driveway which my husband refuses to sell or donate. I'd try to park it in the now empty garage. I am presuming that it's empty.

That's about it, I guess.

For the past several months, I've received emails from my husband about that house. He always says "my house"... He does it sometimes repeatedly in one email. It's not subconscious. He's always done that .... for 9 years and counting. (We used to live in a couple other places prior.)

Well, it's not his house. It was our house. I'd like to feel that one more time. That it was my place too... and my kids' place with mom as part of that experience... as it happens, a huge part for them.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-15-2013, 09:42 PM
HappyDays HappyDays is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 286
HappyDays is on a distinguished road
Default

If you want to keep it, then why not offer to buy him out?
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-15-2013, 10:02 PM
sjandme sjandme is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 176
sjandme is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Oh no that is well beyond the realm of possibility. I'll most likely never be a property owner again. I never had that delusion. My economic situation is very bad... not at the bottom of the barrel yet (i.e. welfare or whatever it's called these days) but getting alarmingly close. I'm trying to focus on a positive outcome... it's a bit tough and I know I'm not alone.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Custody and Access Decision-Making and the Breastfeeding Child: Cavannah v. Johne WorkingDAD Divorce & Family Law 8 05-03-2011 10:55 AM
Access to the matrimonial home moonbeam Divorce & Family Law 6 07-23-2009 05:25 PM
Access to family Home by ex spouse who does not live here! ANewLife Divorce & Family Law 8 02-17-2009 11:33 AM
Help - Matrimonial Home completeshock Financial Issues 4 01-15-2008 10:15 AM
Return to Matrimonial Home? Dante_66 Divorce & Family Law 5 06-01-2006 11:18 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:27 AM.