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Old 04-13-2013, 11:40 AM
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arabian arabian is offline
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What happened in court?

Did you get an interim order for Spousal Support?
Do you receive enough money to pay your rent, utilities, food?
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Old 04-13-2013, 11:51 AM
SadAndTired SadAndTired is offline
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Originally Posted by OhMy View Post

Children living with very little financially, in a loving home is much better then living with all the money in the world with a parent who doesn't want them.
Oh My, I couldn't agree more.
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Old 04-13-2013, 01:18 PM
Where is the Light Where is the Light is offline
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I would much rather have a job and not need the ex's money period. I know what I get from the gov't and believe me, at this point and time I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR IT. I hope one day, wouldn't it be a miracle and a welcomed one, if I got a job tomorrow and were self supporting.

I truly despise the situation I am in.

I don't know where you live (sorry, I can't remember the person who noted all the benefits I am getting from the ex and gov't because of my sons disability,,,), but jobs here aren't easy to come by. You sound like my ex and his lawyer.

They hire students for weekends and nights. Ex, who lives two minutes away, hasn't said, hey, leave them with me and pick them up when you are finished at night. I can do the homework,etc. Go and get yourself a job and help yourself and the children. He likes that this is hard for me (getting a job and struggling to provide for his kids.) Yet, he can go into court and complain about spousal support.

When my children asked if they could sleep at his house on Tues nights (his g/f is home in the morning to take them to schoo, which is one minute from them, he said no. No because he pays me child support, so I should do everything.) Well, here I am trying my damndest to help my situation financially and I am backed into a cornor. Jobs have asked for universtiy for a weekend/evning retail posotion. One I can't take on anyhow. Boys too young, trying to find weekend/night sitter. Cost even if I found this person. It is pathetic this situation I am in. Tryng to get a f/t job has only landed me one full time interview. I have no college/university degree on my resume. Who cares. Like I can't do a job, I had previously done. I get the, oh, your a single mom, when they shouldn't be asking. Blah blah blah. I must sound like a broken record. But I can swear to GOD the lengths I have gone to get work.

YOung students getting the jobs, or the university grads getting them.

In one interview I got, why have you been unemployed for so long? Well, I have been a stay at home mom and voluntter at my sons school for five years. Guess, what, it isn't help my situation.

Really, I would appreciate those not commenting, if they are going to shut me down. My brain has exhausted every avenue. I am now trying to selll my engagement ring for income. I wanted to leave it to my children, incase one day, they wished to change it up and save themselves some money in making a big purchase (in giving it to a woman/proposal).


Thank you to the supportive people, who actually give some decent, caring advice to a woman who has been trhying and trying and trying to seek employement.
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Old 04-13-2013, 02:18 PM
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I had made a comment on here but it disappeared.

Don't be hurt by Slug or anyone who comments as he does. Total ASS with a pea-sized brain.

You need emotional support. You are feeling completely hopeless and some of us can relate to that. Mom2three is right as are many of the others. Try not to let panic/anxiety get the better of you. Your ex is a low-life snake.

You are very vulnerable right now and I know you're scared but please see if Social Assistance can help you while you seek employment. Some people just don't realize how paralyzing depression and despair can be.

Please try and re-group a little. It feels like the end of the world, but it's not. I hope you have at least one good friend that you can talk to and get support from. This situation you're in: it's not permanent. It's right now and it sucks but it is temporary. I've walked through hell and desperation. I understand a lot of what you're feeling. Don't give up. It is okay to cry and yeah, we fall down sometimes. The most important thing is to get back up.

Please contact a friend or crisis centre if you need to. You are going through a lot but you are not out of options. I hope you will be okay. You're in a bad storm. You'll get through this and giving up the kids is not part of the solution.
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Old 04-13-2013, 02:59 PM
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If I'd robbed my ex like he robbed me and had his same leeching skills, I'd be doing great, I guess. The system "throws money" at custodial parents? Really?! Because I don't see any being thrown my way.

"Men" that fit the description of the OP's ex truly make me sick..

And to whomever mentioned a forensic accountant: that's 5-10 grand. Nobody will get that on a contingency. CRA also won't give a crap about his opulent lifestyle. Whatever they "might" do - if anything - won't happen fast enough.

WITL: can you sell your house? Will you speak to a women's shelter and get on a list for subsidized housing and immediate counseling? Have you contacted Welfare? Is there any friend or family that can assist you in any way?

Are there any small budget cuts you can make? Cable/Phone/whatever? Every town/city has a food bank. Call them and then go there.

Please do not put anything in writing to your ex about how you are feeling. He sounds like the type that would thoroughly enjoy it and you don't need any emotional/desperate emails making their way into court.
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Old 04-13-2013, 03:36 PM
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Janus Janus is offline
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Originally Posted by Where is the Light View Post
I am now broke (exhausted all my money), running into debt and might have to ask him to raise his kids. I don't even know where I could go to live.
You give up the kids, you become the payor of child support. Then you will know the meaning of true poverty. You may not be getting "appropriate" amounts of cash from your ex right now, but if you lose the kids the ex could be a multi-millionaire, and you would still have to pay him.

Financially speaking, losing the kids would be a disaster. Since your stress is financial, it doesn't make sense to lose the kids.

Note that I am not considering the best interests of the children here. Your interests are best served by keeping the kids (which is true for pretty much every parent in every situation). It is harder to say where the best interests of the kids may lie.
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Old 04-13-2013, 04:08 PM
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You have support here as well.

I hocked most of my jewelry in order to be able to buy groceries, pay bills and a few items for the kids. I also cashed out my investments. You do what you need to do. You do what is necessary. I had to and I work full time, so I can only imagine how much tighter things are for you.

I also considered selling everything 'extra' in the house to make ends meet. The food bank is helpful.

It does get better, and you need to keep moving forward.

I know your legal fees are mounting. Talk to your lawyer about a payment plan. I never thought mine would do this based on the agreement I signed, but they did and usually will, especially if you have a solid case.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope that the stress eases for you soon.

If you have no income of your own, legal aide should be able to assist you in your matter. That may be another option...

Last edited by OhMy; 04-13-2013 at 04:16 PM.
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Old 04-13-2013, 07:19 PM
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How much CS/SS do you get?

What are the ages of the kids?

Giving them to your ex - if he wanted them you should have 50/50, but he doesn't, so that is not really an option.
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