SC's, Motions and Trial's.. Oh My!

[MrToronto]

Every single kid has witnessed their parents (or variation of couples) argue, only a therapist could postulate a theory at what point it affects a child.

Goldilocks is guilty of it, your guilty of it, my mother was, my dad, I was, my happily married friends argue when kids are around, the Judges is...and so on nobody is a perfect parent.

Your not saying you didn't argue and not denying the child could of over heard it, you just don't recall ever doing it in front of D3. One or Two year olds cry over everything and understand NOTHING.

Your ex has acknowledged play acting, provoking fights and setting you up to record for GAWD sakes, your "relationship" was more science fiction than reality

7 or 8 years together NO Problems.....after the baby....ex changes and does her damdest to have you thrown in a cage.....and still even with "tapes" ..she has squat.

Goldilocks has changed her slander many times from the origional slander which means the origional slander was GARBAGE

She now admits arguing in front of child
She now admits drinking and doping

Thats OP origional slander! against you!

The slander after wards is the stuff I like, that has nothing to do with the origional slander in the Application/Reply

It's obvious OP is making things up as they go along...to anybody who cares to pay attention (some of us here)

There are numerous points to use in SC brief this could be another (child seat crap is only valid for unfit dad stuff at conferences to get a delay..for another conf or Trial)

Goldilocks should write a fable... The GIRL who cried FIRE/Sky is Falling/ WOLF until nobody listened

[LovingFather32]

Okay .. I have a meeting with lawyer this weekend. Preparing motion for CS, School, Therapy thing and also working on SC.

Do I want a motion for this stuff? Nope. Have I inquired about this stuff and given her time to digest it? Yes. She's given me her stance on these issues. They're documented and she's not budging.

The motion will show that we need to go to court over simple things that should be automatic ... like school.

What types of things should I speak about in my SC?

I'm going to speak about how great D3 is doing here.

Friendships in the neighborhood, great home life, happy, stable, structured, great support system.

What else? Thought's? Exhibits?

[Beachnana]

Importance of school. JK and its impact on her social, intellectual development. Can you not also bring in setting up some holiday days. Ie March Break, family Birthday, Easter, Summer vacations. I see a family reunion might be in thenworks. What if there is a wedding in your family and D3 is a bridesmaid. Doubt ex would allow it if it is on her time.

[arabian]

I'd say a biggie is to discuss how she is going to financially contribute to the raising of your child and when this is going to happen.

Money is an issue that can't be avoided.

Oh and another thing to perhaps bring up is long-range planning for university. If you bring it up now, 14 years from now when you request her to share the cost of tuition she can't say that university wasn't contemplated (an "out" for many people it seems when they go to court over this in the future). This topic could piggy-back the importance of her working and perhaps setting up an RESP for daughter someday??????

[rockscan]

Travel for access especially if she moves. A move clause. Might be worth going through the forum for issues other people have and see if they apply.

[LovingFather32]

Bit off topic here .. but I've been having great success at the school I'm at. I'm working with some severely angry, socially isolated, complex children. Also a child with Tourette's. I had a meeting with the principal, school psychologist and teachers yesterday and went over the progress they've seen in the school.

I've reduced the tic's with the boy with Tourette's by 60% so far. The psychologist was amazed at my knowledge of Habit Reversal Training and CBIT.

Another teacher pulled me over in the hall after and told me that another boy was happy after his body break with me the other day. More happy than she'd ever seen him. He excelled in class that day The teacher was teary-eyed with happiness.

I've also started a mini mentoring program at our school where we select certain students to secretly take other students (high needs) under their wings (invite them to play at recess, watch for teasing/bullying, etc) to promote social status and an overall more positive experience at school.

WAY OFF topic I know.. but it does pertain to my case.

I came home the past few weeks to a flood of e-mails from teachers thanking me for everything. Going over the things that I've done, progress they've seen and how wonderful I am with the children. Saying things like "you're daughter's a lucky girl".

Can I make use of these incredibly kind e-mails to help me out in court? Perhaps trial stuff? Just to show my skillset with kids, my character, etc?

[arabian]

I commend you for your outstanding work. I'm sure it has made a huge impact for your clients as well as their families.

My experience in court is that the judges always want to appear to be fair to both parties. If you 'toot your horn' about your work successes, be aware that the response from the judge MIGHT be to acknowledge that your ex possesses none of your professional skills and therefore needs to be bolstered to create an even battleground. Be careful not to play into your ex's scenario so that she can spin things that she was merely an unemployed woman raising a child with a dominating know-it-all ex who intimidated her with his big words etc. Playing the damsel in distress role seems to be what your ex is quite good at.

Your child is not developmentally disadvantaged. I'd keep work separate unless your professionalism is challenged or if you re-visit the matter of when ex's lawyer threatened to go to your employer with the baseless allegations of abuse. Perhaps save the employment accolades for that battle?

[LovingFather32]

If you 'toot your horn' about your work successes, be aware that the response from the judge MIGHT be to acknowledge that your ex possesses none of your professional skills and therefore needs to be bolstered to create an even battleground

I'm as modest man as you'll find. I totally agree. I'm leaving all that out. It WILL play in to her hands. I'm just going over her police report:

"I'm afraid he may report parental abduction and he has barely any parenting skills".

But you're right. I have nothing to prove. I'll be playing directly in to her hands, portraying myself as a show off or something. Sometimes when I read the e-mails I think to myself .. oh boy .. if only a judge could read this. All judges get to hear about is alcohol, abuse, drugs, mentally abusing D3 .. every damn appearance...even though it's all been tossed. We just sit there and take it .. not attacking back. Going over our parenting plan and insisting I'll always respect mother's role.

God I hope that pays off.

[arabian]

Yeah my ex stated many times that I was a terrible parent and it hurt. However, his allegations had nothing to do with spousal support.

The judges you have been in front of have dismissed her allegations already by pointing out she showed no evidence of any problems priorto when she left the marriage. That speaks volumes and that particular judge's remarks will not be discarded by any future judge on your case. If your lawyer feels it is warranted, you counter by emphasizing that your ex has never undergone any drug/alcohol screening. If D3's alleged "separation anxiety" comes up you could suggest that it is likely due to your ex abducting the child and not allowing access for XX months. That would shut them down in a nanosecond I'd think.

I know only too well how hard it is to let things roll of one's back when being accused of the bizarre. You should be reassured though as judge has pointedly made note he discredits her claims.

[MrToronto]

What types of things should I speak about in my SC?

I'm going to speak about how great D3 is doing here

You answered your own question

Your matter isall about D3... do not get side tracked by the OP circus this is not about Goldilocks nor is it about you and Goldilocks.

Conference(s) ..... The goal at Conferences is to get a Judge to lean on OP (to side with you) and try to get a good endorsement (forget the real goal SETTLEMENT)

This is the 2nd SC which will probably be with the same Judge who (to me) went against the flow (maybe trying to be fair and sensitive to women issues by blowing your money).............SC Judge gets her 2nd crack at this.

Was the SC smart to give more time for access in the hopes parties would settle or did Goldilocks prove she was going to continue to make everything a friggin nightmare.

Remember your first SC brief went into the garbage ( you know this because becuase you examined the C/R and it's not there)

The 2nd SC the (same) Judge will read her Endorsement and maybe need a little refresher of your matter (which will come from the same cut and paste SC brief of OP that barely changes)

1) SC JUDGE expects......Goldilocks should of stopped making allegations and got down to parenting between SC dates.......DID Goldilocks?

(SC endorsement mentions nothing on allegations...the victim crown was removed after Motion)

NOPE...Goldilocks continues with same old allegations (victim crap) plus now has some unfit dad junk (but no NEW dads a monster stuff which is the main point)

This is the area OP dwells in and best to avoid (finger pointing and name calling has nothing to do with D3)

The Judge does not want to see the SC break down with the above because she'll just push it down the road to a Trial Management Conference (last Conf b4 Trial)

LAO scumbag wants Trial so finger pointing and name calling between parties is all he wants at Conference's

Focus on D3 stuff/settlement/ general stuff on how access is going but no direct finger pointing (let the Judge determine who's an idiot)

1) offering mediation
2) settlement offers
3) Parenting Plan
3) Communication book
4) efforts on JK
5) concern over OP wanting child shrink
6) efforts to get access special occassions
7) park exchanges by mom makes access a tire some process and confuses D3
8) unnecessary efforts on vaccinations, duplication on child doctors when old peditirician should suffice
9) your job...blended family....daycare...extended family..your education....the field you work in...(typical stuff)

...other

[MrToronto]

Custody is without Prejudice

Think about that for a minute...... Technically it means no parent has the primary parent label

Primary parent makes all the major decisions regarding the child

You've been defensive of your right to be just a a dad so it's natural to "cut down a forest" to prove even the tiniest item of contention between parties

Remember this when writing up the brief (no finger pointing)...both parties disagree on JK vs playgroups ...

...here is some literature on JK .......Goldilocks has been notified on D3's registration for this Sept and disagrees......I'm asking for direction from Judge

Until the Court determines who is best to be the Custodial parent it's best to leave tthe major desicion making for the child to a Judge.

I say this because your going to be the most reasonable mature parent

that understands there is going to be disagreements and you wish to work with mom to fix things for D3

So watch ... going hat in hand to Goldilocks looking for acceptance or pleading your position on things...she is at the same level you are as a parent.

[LovingFather32]

You bet. No finger pointing at all.

All about how well D3 has adjusted Vs. How terrible she's doing (ex's version)

Im like Mr. Rogers n that courtroom

I like when she had a meltdown at x-mas over new years. She just denied me 2 days and I didn't respond. Who's the hostile one?

Re: School: Nothing speaks like evidence-based literature. Not like ex can say D3's not ready right? I mean she said D3's flourishing in playgroups, at her moms in QC, etc. Only place she claims shes having nightmares, etc is her place .. hmm .. sounds like its environmental to me. D3 says ex ASKS her to sleep with her. But I wont mention any of this to the judge. Not my style.

Check these out for CR:
Plus a message from momstop saying its run by volunteers who have no first aid/CPR. Also, its not one playgroup she goes to. It's 3 or 4. That's a lot of hopping around if you ask me.

http://www.ocdsb.ca/med/pub/Publicat...arten_Info.pdf
Full-day kindergarten
Full-Day Kindergarten Study Evaluation
http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/curriculum/elementary/kinder2010.pdf
http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/kindergarten/what.html

Points I need to continue:

1. The Applicant maintains that an equal, shared parenting regime and joint custody is what is in the best interests of the child.

2. The Applicant acknowledges that both he and the Respondent are good parents and are fully capable of caring for D3 in all areas.

3. Prior to the unilateral removal of D3 by her mother, the Applicant was a fully involved father who took pride in playing, teaching and caring for her.

4. The Applicant wishes to remain fully involved with D3 now and in the future, as he has since her birth.

5. The Applicant would like to work with the Respondent in a cooperative fashion to raise their child into a productive member of society.

[stripes]

Can I make use of these incredibly kind e-mails to help me out in court? Perhaps trial stuff? Just to show my skillset with kids, my character, etc?

...what the other posters said - and also you don't want to come off as overly defensive or eager to prove yourself. Too many of these testimonials could come off as "I'm really good with kids! Really really good! Look at all these happy parents with emails and messages!". Your record with Kid speaks for itself - you don't need to advertise. Print the emails out and keep them somewhere to read when you need a psychological boost.

[LovingFather32]

Yea I figured that one out earlier in the day Stripes. I agreed with the posters. However, the motion judge did enjoy my letter of reference from a parent of an autistic boy I looked after. So testimonials aren't garbage. But still, as I mentioned earlier I'm not including any of that.

[MrToronto]

One item .....go into Court thinking ...I want to win this one item

Don't put words into Goldilocks mouth or insert your own speculation Judges need FACTS

This one item could be JK vs playgroup where Goldilocks has? put it in writting.... no

IF it is in writing then both parties are clear on the problem

Judge must break the TIE (not really it can be kicked down the road..more on this below)

Judge can only give direction for things at conferences...like updated finacials for instance

what happens if you get a Judge agreeing on a item reserved for a SOLE CUSTODY parent

would Goldilocks be sad?
would it possibly open the floodgates for more things in your favour?
would questions put to Goldilocks be harder? (than wiffleballs)
now D3 is in a SCHOOL....stabilized
in your area ...how would that screw up Goldilocks?

Although a Judge can't do SQUAT at a Conference they can sure make daming endorsements for the next Judge to read.

Judges can infer things....Applicant was a stubborn AHOLE
Judges can give direction.....Respondent rejects JK and is to provide LOLLY POP playground brochure


It's possible JK vs playgroups could be a item at a Trial remembering of course the Trial is on who gets sole custody (and who ever wins makes the decisions).......but a position at Trial is Goldilocks wanted playgroups in order to take off and put D3 into a Quebec school.

So the more NO to Ontario schools in writing from Goldilocks (or Judge in a endorsement) the better for future use.