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  • She keeps swiping marital property when I am not there

    Hi all....

    So, after calling my friends and family about my successful motion and telling you guys I go upstairs and see that while her and I were in court, she had members of her family come into the house and take stuff.

    Best of all I go into the bathroom and there's a big turd floating in the toilet. Didn't know to laugh or cry. I was afraid to check the bed ! LOL.

    Anyway... what the heck can I do about this, not the floater.... but her and her family coming into the house when they know I am not there.


    As always thanks.
    Last edited by plainNamedDad44; 10-19-2013, 09:34 PM. Reason: grammar

  • #2
    Originally posted by plainNamedDad44 View Post
    Hi all....

    So, after calling my friends and family about my successful motion and telling you guys I go upstairs and see that while her and I were in court, she had members of her family come into the house and take stuff.

    Best of all I go into the bathroom and there's a big turd floating in the toilet. Didn't know to laugh or cry. I was afraid to check the bed ! LOL.

    Anyway... what the heck can I do about this, not the floater.... but her and her family coming into the house when they know I am not there.


    As always thanks.
    She doesn't live there anymore, right? Get exclusive possession of the home and change the locks.

    Comment


    • #3
      possession aside, my case, I was forced out - wrongfully or not - but the first thing I did was relinquish my house key (no I did not copy it!!) Just not worth the risk and the trouble I could get in with all the lies going on. If I understand property, your only recourse is to include the garage sale values of the pieces in her net property. I do not even think the court would order and enforce the return of stuff - no matter what it was. Again get something to determine reasonable values.....

      Comment


      • #4
        video tape everything

        Comment


        • #5
          Change the locks.
          She has a new residence now.
          I wouldn't even bother with trying to obtain exclusive possession, I'd just do it.
          Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

          Comment


          • #6
            yes do change the locks. You might consider sending a brief note to your ex indicating the locks are now changed and that if she thinks she has left personal property at your home, in the future she write to you and you will ensure her property is set aside and given to her (or something to that effect). This is a reasonable and calm way to proceed. If you continue to be stressed out about this then simply go down to your local police station and have a chat with them. They will probably tell you that they can't go and arrest someone unless you actually see someone absconding with your belongings. It would be helpful to find out how the police think you should proceed.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by arabian View Post
              yes do change the locks. You might consider sending a brief note to your ex indicating the locks are now changed and that if she thinks she has left personal property at your home, in the future she write to you and you will ensure her property is set aside and given to her (or something to that effect). This is a reasonable and calm way to proceed. If you continue to be stressed out about this then simply go down to your local police station and have a chat with them. They will probably tell you that they can't go and arrest someone unless you actually see someone absconding with your belongings. It would be helpful to find out how the police think you should proceed.
              police will probably say its a marital issue and not get involved. Probably suggest that he talk to his lawyer.

              Comment


              • #8
                My situation was that the ex had about a dozen friends and three trucks remove her property along with matrimonial assets, furniture, appliances and electronics when I was not home. I had returned to a half empty, unarmed (alarm off) home with the patio door wide open. Waited for the police to arrive and I had not entered the home due to firearms that were in the household and there was no way to prove the security of the home, between the time the ex left and the time that I had arrived. Went in with the officers and we went through the house checking the lockers etc. and on the way out they said to change the locks in the morning.

                I would document the joint assets taken and the ones that remain along with securing the home to yourself to also protect your property obtained after separation. If there is of any value of the material taken, you do not want her to deny taking this and to have all of it put on you during the settlement. If she wants to re-enter the home and if you do not have exclusive possession, you can not deny her access even if you change the locks. My ex denied removing property, despite numerous witnesses and a police report. She also tried to claim that I had kicked her out and changed the locks denying her shelter during the separation. So deal with it accordingly and document it!
                Last edited by SRT; 10-20-2013, 11:12 AM. Reason: improper quote

                Comment


                • #9
                  I am having deja vu,

                  One day we came home to the same scene: more than half of the house content is taken (no floaters though) by the other party, including toilet paper, no notification prior to it, just took what they wanted and moved in with the new partner.

                  We called our lawyer at the time who advised us to take all we could/need and leave the house which we did.

                  A week later the other party comes home and gets a shock of their life: the house is empty! WOW! Until now I am guessing what did they expect, another set of Italian bedroom, another leather couch, another set of kids furniture, etc, etc, etc? The party then complains to the lawyer. Nothing happens. The house content is divided. (Will be discussed in court though).

                  Oh and we've been advised (write or wrong) that we cannot change the lock because the other party is on the title of the house.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Mother View Post

                    Oh and we've been advised (write or wrong) that we cannot change the lock because the other party is on the title of the house.
                    Having ownership to both parties you can change the locks, but there is nothing to say that they can not break into their own home. Exclusive ownership is the best solution.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by SRT View Post
                      Having ownership to both parties you can change the locks, but there is nothing to say that they can not break into their own home. Exclusive ownership is the best solution.
                      Well, we didn't know about it then. I have to tell you we were in a state of a complete shock at that time. A lot was going on then. Plus (or more likely minus) our then lawyer is/was a total waste of time, money and nerves. I really feel sorry for his clients, - past, present and future. Anyway, we did not change the lock. We took the left overs and left. The rest is history. We will be discussing this incident in court.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Know of this guy who after coming home from work was met by his neighbour that had said "I didn't know that you guys were moving". He goes in the house and it is empty. She had left him a cup, plate, fork, knife and spoon that was on the livingroom floor along with a pillow and blanket with a note that said 'enjoy'.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Mother View Post
                          Oh and we've been advised (write or wrong) that we cannot change the lock because the other party is on the title of the house.
                          Of course you may change the lock. The other party may call a locksmith and/or break in, but you are not breaking any laws by changing the locks. So why change the locks? Because 9 times out of 10, even a hostile ex will get the message and stay away. However I would not recommend changing the locks until AFTER the ex has a permanent residence and they have had opportunity to claim their personal possessions in full.

                          One thing I would especially recomment is installing dead bolts on the doors to secure the home while you are inside.



                          Here is the thing about locks:
                          • If the title is in one name, then the property belongs to that person; the value must be split, but the other person has no right to the title.
                          • The other person may have a right to continued residence after separation as per the Family Law Act; this will have to be settled by arguing for exclusive possession. This part of the law is to prevent someone from being thrown out on the street, or in consideration of child custody. It is not intended to give a non-owner long-term possession or access.
                          • If the title is in both names, then both are co-owners.
                          • If the other party has just moved out and is couch-surfing with relatives, then they are still a resident of the house.
                          • If they have a new address, signed a lease, etc, then the house is no longer their residence, even though they may be part owner.
                          • If the other person is no longer a resident, then the current resident has a right to privacy and security of their possessions while not at home, and certainly complete privacy evenings and while sleeping.
                          • If an ex started entering the property at will, this would not be immediately addressed by the police because they try not to get in the middle of family law issues, but it would be immediate grounds for exclusive possession and/or a restraining order.
                          • A judge will certainly protect the right of a person to eat dinner, come out of the shower, sleep, etc. without being confronted by an ex-spouse entering without warning.
                          • If the ex is still joint owner, they have a right to enter at a reasonable time, with reasonable notice. They don't have a right to come and go as they please, but you will need to see a judge to get this enforced.
                          The first thing you should do if you have one is change the code on the alarm system. As well, for < $50 or so you can get security cameras that will monitor by internet, or alert you with a motion detector and take photos. These can be great if you are half-expecting the other party to come when you are away and empty the house.

                          For the OP, the ex may possibly have access to the house, but the relatives have no business entering on their own and if they have taken anything that is your personal property, it is theft. The police may not wish to lay charges in a family law case, but you can swear out a complaint with a justice of the peace. I would also strongly consider small claims court, as this can easily be done by self-rep. Just make sure you have some factual evidence.

                          For personal possessions, photograph them and if they have any value, especially give a list to your insurance company. This will help give you factual evidence if your ex takes them.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by SRT View Post
                            Know of this guy who after coming home from work was met by his neighbour that had said "I didn't know that you guys were moving". He goes in the house and it is empty. She had left him a cup, plate, fork, knife and spoon that was on the livingroom floor along with a pillow and blanket with a note that said 'enjoy'.
                            I sincerely hope that creature will pay for it.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Mother View Post
                              Well, we didn't know about it then. I have to tell you we were in a state of a complete shock at that time. A lot was going on then. Plus (or more likely minus) our then lawyer is/was a total waste of time, money and nerves. I really feel sorry for his clients, - past, present and future. Anyway, we did not change the lock. We took the left overs and left. The rest is history. We will be discussing this incident in court.
                              Report him to LSUC. LSUC has now confirmed they are proceeding with investigating my jackass lawyer, who I also had assessed and managed to cut his bill in half

                              Comment

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