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  • Are you doing the same adding in possitive notes on how D3 is doing when she is with you?

    here something I had on file for my husband when he was fighting.

    Always focus on your story.

    1. Equal shared parenting is what is in the best interests of the child.
    2. Joint custody is what is in the best interests of the child.
    3. We are both good parents.
    4. I was fully involved before the separation
    5. I want to be fully involved now and in the future
    6. I want to work with other parent to raise child into productive member of society.


    Parenting classes: are a great idea and I think you stated that you had attended.

    "Perhaps it would benefit the respondent mother to inquire about taking these same classes that I have already completed, I personally found them very informative that the parenting I was doing with our child was inline with the age, development and maturity of our children. It was reassuring that a lot of what I was doing with our children was correct."

    Just a thought to add in to documents....

    Comment


    • Goodmom:

      You bet I am. I put how great she is every time I write in the comm. book.

      Good idea re: bringing up parenting classes as well.

      And thank you for the link regarding nightmares, etc.

      http://www.occourts.org/media/pdf/pa...guidelines.pdf
      I like this stuff:
      1. Nightmares are common for young children and some of their anxieties are often expressed as fears or through nightmares. Nightmares do not necessarily mean the child is having bad experiences with either parent.
      2. Young children are very self-centered and often dislike changing activities when they are
      interested in a particular activity. They may cry, for example, when dropped off at preschool or
      when they are picked up from preschool. Similar protests can occur during parental exchanges of
      the child.
      3. If a child cries when one parent picks up the child, this may mean only that the child does not want to “switch gears”; and such incidents should not be universally interpreted to mean that there is a problem between the parent and child.

      Good info perhaps for the CR.


      Last edited by LovingFather32; 02-02-2015, 01:56 PM.

      Comment


      • Don't worry about the new job...

        My husband is on an on call rotation..2 extra people where added plus he started banking his time. This way when D5 is sick, has a PD day or days during March break and Christmas break he can take time to be with her.

        This will have an effect on his income but its not intentional and it is for the support of the child. Just like you getting a better job that allows you to spend time with her, provide benefits and stability in hours.

        The burden of proving the intend lies with the OP....your job is to prove her intend of not looking for employment. Having a file with job postings in the area that she is qualified would be to your benefit.

        Keep focus on all the positive.

        Comment


        • I wonder if stuff like asking the ex not to enter your car should be in the communication book. To me that should be in a letter or email sent to the ex. The communication book should be about the chid and not the issues between the parents. I just hope doing something like this doesn't play into her hands someway.

          Comment


          • I thought it may be important for the communication book as it affects D3's transitions at pick up's. Its not really the issues between us that concerns me .. but rather healthy, positive transitions for D3. I suppose I could have put in it in a letter or e-mail.
            Last edited by LovingFather32; 02-02-2015, 03:03 PM.

            Comment


            • IF a judgement comes in your favor with regards to custody then CS can be adjusted retro active to when Goldilocks took off.
              In Quebec (maybe Ontario too) - you can NEVER claw back child support even if you overpaid unless there was a case of fraud.

              Comment


              • Geeze I hate it when people qoute portions of threads and don't really read the entire post. too add more from my earlier post....

                Lots of stuff (money) is going to be swept under the table (when you win) but it's important to remember nothing is finalized but it's nice to have leverage (retro CS) and rulings in your favor (Motion, and endorsements)


                Secondly if there is ongoing child support payable then retro active support or OVERSUPPORT is clawed back by the FRO.

                if there is no longer any child support FRO will not return the monies paid out in the past. It's off to civil court for that.

                Why is LF32 paying child support? He's paying it because a parent took he's child and made up allegations to garner custody .....and to get child support

                The conferences are to SETTLE. This is where child abuction is dropped along with allegations and CS paid out by LF32 is forgiven to be replaced by a new financial deal. (NOT GONNA HAPPEN)

                The Motion WIN changed the playing field ..the victim crown was removed from Goldilocks (she voided a consent agreement by stopping access on more made up allegations, no COSTS Judge blamed OCL for the mess) and LF32 was given a new Order on access as a result.

                2 things to work on...status quo (Judge's think why change things if they are going so well..ignoring the little bickering by parties) and CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCES which LF32 wants at Trial.

                LAO scumbag wants status quo....he wants to draw LF32 into a squabble on support paying. It's a distraction for a Judge (once a support payer always a support payor)

                LF32 wants a change in circumstances (to change "interim" Motion Order)....custody of D3 given to LF32.

                The "trap" LAO scumbag lawyer is in (for Trial)....is in the REPLY to LF32's Application. ALL of what is in the REPLY has been tossed out by Motion Judge.

                The cut and paste jobs the LAO scumbag lawyer does for every Conference ...isn't what he (will be allowed to ...meaning his claims against probably will be tossed out at a Trial Management Conference to reduce Trial time) goes to Trial with...since (all) cliams against you have been dealt with.

                the only matter left for Trial is what your Application is for...SOLE CUSTODY...(and something about walls)

                - child abduction is still on table....but victim isn't
                -multiple allegations plus voiding a consent order
                - unreasonable parent Goldilocks won't do anything without being ordered too
                - Goldilocks doesn't care if CS is clawed back from welfare.....net benefit to D3...ZERO

                One thing "a change in circimstance" is used for is to make a change to a current order and more commonly used ...with a change in income a) purposely under employed...party wants to enforce old order with no changes b) bona fide job change...party afraid of changing old order (could lead anywhere)

                LAO scumbag is afraid of B)
                Last edited by MrToronto; 02-02-2015, 06:19 PM.

                Comment


                • I don't know if a retro CS refund would be possible. CS follows the child's schedule. Even if that schedule was obtained through trickery and later reversed, the CS assumption is that the person with the child (abductor) had all the expenses. It feels like the victim is paying the attacker, yeah, but the reality is that the child got fed and clothed.

                  Comment


                  • You said something in an earlier post. ( i need to learn how to take just part of your post as a quote!). Anyway, you said you thought that maybe the judge would want to have D3 attend school in Mothers catchment area. why? If you are 50/50 and you are in the same catchment areas before her leaving then she is the one who should come back to your catchment area. If you both left the catchment area ( not a good idea) but things are what they are, then you should present as the stable home, long lease, job etc, where she is not in stable long term housing, so could and should move into same catchment area or live with the transportantion issue.

                    Don't assume you would be the one who would have to suffer. 50/50 is your assumption at all times.
                    Last edited by Beachnana; 02-03-2015, 12:12 AM. Reason: Spelling

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by MrToronto View Post
                      ...
                      One thing "a change in circimstance" is used for is to make a change to a current order and more commonly used ...with a change in income a) purposely under employed...party wants to enforce old order with no changes b) bona fide job change...party afraid of changing old order (could lead anywhere)

                      LAO scumbag is afraid of B)

                      This is a useful tool and something your lawyer should examine and be prepared for. Your income has only dropped 10k but now has benefits, pension plan and no "on call" segment - so that's an easy come-back. Plenty of case law on this. Would be sweet if they bring up case law and you can use the same to turn it back on them to show intentional unemployment by your ex.

                      Continue to stress stability and think of a good strategy to bring your mother's involvement in D3's life into the mix?

                      Of course a scholastic environment with qualified instructors is going to be preferable to continuous attachment issues with D3 and her mother.

                      Comment


                      • When ex took D3 and hit the road I had no idea where in the city she was .. if at all. I ended up relocating to another part of town .. a cleaner, better part. Turns out she stayed about 10 mins away from where we lived.

                        However, I certainly would like to present as the stable home, long lease, job, etc. Its the truth after all.

                        I think Mr. T suggested long ago to try and get a hold of her lease somehow. Action Housing gave her that home for being a victim of things that have been proven false time an time again. Is it temporary? If so how the heck is she still there and more importantly, what's her plan when the lease is up? QC?

                        If a judge did agree with J/K, ex's next step would be to fight to get a school in her area Im sure.

                        On the forms I gave all mom's info. There's an orientation going on in May. The school said that both parents would be getting mail and a call. Yikes. She's going to freak.

                        I hope this doesn't make me look terrible .. registering the child without her knowledge and all.

                        She KNEW J/K registration week .. hence .."I'm waiting for a mysteriously lady's call back to help us make decisions about D3". For 3 weeks now.

                        Then again, she's underestimated me from the beginning. I bet she doesn't think I went out of my way to get D3's birth certificate, her immunizations, etc to be able to register her.

                        All I know is s*^t's going to hit the fan when ex finds out that I registered her.

                        Comment


                        • Why don't you just tell her that you registered her, and explain that you did it to secure a spot, and that you're aware of her concerns and are happy to address them during mediation or settlement conference?

                          Comment


                          • Think I should Strait? What do other's think?

                            On another note, Action Housing's average time of support is over 5.5 months. http://www.action-logement.ca/LinkCl...&embedded=true
                            Last edited by LovingFather32; 02-03-2015, 09:37 AM.

                            Comment


                            • You absolutely should tell her. Now that you already have done it, there is no value-add in keeping that action from her. She will just use it to cast you as high conflict and uncooperative.

                              Telling her about it in advance of her finding out the other way takes the wind out of her sails.

                              Comment


                              • I agree Strait.

                                Can I not say something like "I was waiting for your lady to call back regarding parenting decisions but she did not respond so I secured a spot".....etc

                                When I tell her will she not simply write a letter to the school board indicating that D3 is not to be registered anywhere, cancel her registration, etc? 100% she will.

                                Comment

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