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  • Curious divorce question

    My ex and I have been separated just shy of 4 years now, we have both moved on with our lives (basically) and the custody/child support final order is in place.
    At this point I am starting to think about the possibility of starting divorce proceedings. Originally when I started the custody/support case, my ex's lawyer made a claim to the court that they would be filing for the divorce and moving the case to Superior - this never did happen.

    The issue I have is this - during the custody/support case my ex filed his financial statement and listed a pile of debts that I have no clue about. There could very well be a few items where he got himself store credit near the end of the marriage for his failed attempt at a construction business that I was not involved with - in fact I went back into the work force because he didn't appear to be making any money in his business venture, and the bills that I was aware of (rent, utilities) were falling severely behind because of it.

    I have been slowly trying to build my credit over these years since we separated, and I know nothing of the bills he claimed on his financial statement (in fact the one paper he provided as 'proof' for a debt was addressed to him at a place he lived 2 years after we separated), and since he does not pay for mail forwarding, and it was directly listed for the address, I can only assume this was a debt incurred after the break-up.

    My fear is this - I start divorce proceedings which drag out because he is going to attempt to saddle me with yet more debt that I was
    1. Not aware of, did not use, did not sign for, did not cause, did not have any part of
    2. Was incurred after the date of separation
    3. Debt he listed but doesn't appear to be getting 'chased' for and makes no payments on

    Obviously things will drag on incessantly because of this, making the divorce stall. I took on 2 vehicle repossessions because of the marriage breakup, not to mention the more than $5000 in debt that I ended up covering because he wrote cheques at a number of pay-day loan locations after the separation on our joint account that I had not yet been able to move all my deposits etc out from, as well as unpaid rent and utilities for the place we were living in at the time of separation.

    Is the timeline for division of debts 6 years after a separation? Can a divorce be pushed through without having to deal with the matter concerning debts that I will of course request proof of etc. If I end up saddled with yet more debt, barely seeing any child support, just barely scraping by as it is, I fear that I will be forced into bankruptcy and lose my vehicle that I was finally able to get a bank loan to afford, as the children and I live away from the city, nothing is in walking distance and public transportation is non-existent.

    I guess I'm just wondering what I should do at this point, and what the possibilities are.

    Thanks.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Kimberley View Post


    I have been slowly trying to build my credit over these years since we separated, and I know nothing of the bills he claimed on his financial statement (in fact the one paper he provided as 'proof' for a debt was addressed to him at a place he lived 2 years after we separated), and since he does not pay for mail forwarding, and it was directly listed for the address, I can only assume this was a debt incurred after the break-up.

    My fear is this - I start divorce proceedings which drag out because he is going to attempt to saddle me with yet more debt that I was
    1. Not aware of, did not use, did not sign for, did not cause, did not have any part of
    2. Was incurred after the date of separation
    3. Debt he listed but doesn't appear to be getting 'chased' for and makes no payments on

    I know that what ever debts that you shared up until the date of separation you will have some liability for. Any thing that you or he have done after that date will be each of your own responsibility. If per say he wracked up a credit account he opened up after the separation that is his problem not yours. The court will not allow you to be draged into that mess. they should basically ignore what he may have done. They will not ask for later debts to be equalized.
    Hope that makes sence if not please ask again to me what you need.

    Comment


    • #3
      It's the word 'shared' that bothers me. Like I said it's possible that he opened up store credit (for building materials) that I was not aware of at the end of the marriage - and yes, it irks me that something I had nothing to do with, other than being married to him, becomes my debt.

      Comment


      • #4
        I think that it is an item, this account for the business that you could contest. There have been concessions like this situation before.

        That account is not like a mortgage, loan or store credit that you had benifit from. Added to that from what you say you did not have prior knowledge or consent. I am also going to make the assumption that you did not jointly sign on to that business account????

        You claim he wants to saddle you with some of this debt... ask him to provide you with proof ie that you signed on the accounts etc. He wont be able to if you didnt.

        Comment


        • #5
          You are correct, I did not sign anything nor give my consent. I was not aware of it, did not use it, never even shopped in those places (all building supplies). We rented where we lived and did no upgrades or anything to the home, so it certainly wasn't any benefit to me in any way.
          I had nothing to do with his failed business other than the sale of the truck that was in my name only to pay off a sub-contractor that was owed money (that was the only thing I was made aware of - but that was because the sub-contractor threatened to harm the kids and I if I did not make the ex pay up).

          Comment


          • #6
            Kimberly,

            He was bad at business and not a good spouse etc. But he was your spouse, you were married and it is not like he was poor at business on purpose - it harmed him as well. To not share in the debt I don't see as fair because I assume that if his business was a success you would have wanted half of that income even if you were not aware of how, when, where it was acquired as you don't know about the debts.

            Comment


            • #7
              Kimberley,
              It's possible your Ex exaggerated his debts in his financial statement for support purposes. His plan was probably to look like he could ill afford CS.

              He cannot saddle you with debt accrued after the date of separation.

              Make sure you have copies proving balances of different things on the date of separation to support your figures if you go that route.

              You can ask for the divorce to be severed from the unresolved issues.

              I'm not sure if there is a timeline of 6 years but you may want to make an offer to settle. Do you think either of you owe an equalization to the other?
              If not, you can try to settle by consenting to an equalization payment of a zero.
              Or if you can agree on a dollar figure owing one party all the nitty gritty of sorting thru all assets and debts is eliminated.

              Comment


              • #8
                It isn't possible that there is anything 'owed' as far as assets etc are concerned. We split the household items from the get-go.
                Billm - he was adamant that I would have no involvement with his business venture. He was always very irresponsible with money, never planning ahead and just buying things on a whim. When we were together, other than the stuff he's made a claim about owing, but not proving, we never used credit because of that fact. The business wasn't a success, so I fail to see your need to add that inappropriate remark.

                If I were to accept that what he stated as a debt is truly joint, than the number is fairly even - I was saddled with the 2 vehicle repossessions because he decided that he did not want the car after all, stopped making payments and instead bought himself a brand new SUV.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by billm View Post
                  Kimberly,

                  He was bad at business and not a good spouse etc. But he was your spouse, you were married and it is not like he was poor at business on purpose - it harmed him as well. To not share in the debt I don't see as fair because I assume that if his business was a success you would have wanted half of that income even if you were not aware of how, when, where it was acquired as you don't know about the debts.
                  gotta agree with billm. As long as you were married any debts that were part of the marriage are joint debts. Any debts he ran up later are his own.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Kimberley View Post
                    It isn't possible that there is anything 'owed' as far as assets etc are concerned. We split the household items from the get-go.
                    Billm - he was adamant that I would have no involvement with his business venture. He was always very irresponsible with money, never planning ahead and just buying things on a whim. When we were together, other than the stuff he's made a claim about owing, but not proving, we never used credit because of that fact. The business wasn't a success, so I fail to see your need to add that inappropriate remark.

                    If I were to accept that what he stated as a debt is truly joint, than the number is fairly even - I was saddled with the 2 vehicle repossessions because he decided that he did not want the car after all, stopped making payments and instead bought himself a brand new SUV.
                    billm was just pointing out that IF the business was a success you (and most others) would have wanted their share of the pie. It was not an inappropriate remark, he was just pointing out a fact.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                      billm was just pointing out that IF the business was a success you (and most others) would have wanted their share of the pie. It was not an inappropriate remark, he was just pointing out a fact.
                      I was asking a question regarding debts that I was not aware of during the end of the marriage, period. I don't need the shot about how if it was a success I would have been running to the bank for the money.

                      What the hell is wrong with some of the people here that you cannot even ask questions with concerns without people taking shots at a person?!

                      Thanks to those who have the decency to reply without being rude, to those who can't manage to get through one post without the personal shots... go to hell

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Kimberley View Post
                        ...
                        Thanks to those who have the decency to reply without being rude, to those who can't manage to get through one post without the personal shots... go to hell
                        Okay, I have been waiting for summer to start anyway...might as well go to hell where it is guaranteed to be hot...

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by billm View Post
                          Okay, I have been waiting for summer to start anyway...might as well go to hell where it is guaranteed to be hot...
                          pour me a cold one,
                          Last edited by standing on the sidelines; 05-28-2009, 05:28 PM.

                          Comment

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