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  • Co-parenting across Ottawa-Gatineau

    Hi,

    I am 2.5 years and counting, still with no hearing on custody in a high-conflict case, so essentially having to make it up as I go, informing myself to the extent possible.

    In sum (gory details aside), the case is dealt with in the Quebec system since I had moved into my ex's house in Gatineau (i.e. common law) from Ottawa, where we all lived until my son was two years old when I left, and moved back to Ottawa. The father is Francophone, but bilingual; I am Anglophone.

    As per an interim agreement, our son (now 4 years old) spends about 30% with his father and 70% with me and goes to a daycare in my neighbourhood. We have a court date for the Spring (father petitioning for 50-50), but his lawyers have delayed many times so I am not certain even by Spring we will have a decision.

    Meanwhile, the father wants to register him in kindergarden in Gatineau. I am wondering if anyone has experience with the implications of schooling across the Ottawa - Gatineau divide? Specifically, does the court system think it is in the child's interest to move to 50:50 arrangement if it means one week traveling between provinces for the child?

    Secondly, has anyone ever seen where child support calculations deviate from provincially set tables in such cases to better reflect true disposable income? If any one has lived in Ottawa and Gatineau, they will know costs of living are quite different, for example with subsidized daycare in Gatineau, but cheaper taxes in Ottawa, etc.

    Thirdly, is there truly now way to ensure court proceedings in my only fluent language, English? I am told it will be up to the judge of the day which language he/she chooses, and I can hire an interpreter, if I wish. My ex since separation will only communicate in French.

    Fourth, is there any way to transfer the case, at least over the long run to another provincial jurisdiction? My son was born in Ottawa, has his doctor, dentist, daycare, extracurricular activities, etc. here.

    Lots of questions, but I imagine my case is not unique. Please don't advise me to consult a lawyer (unless you know a really good one) because that has not helped yet!

    Thanks.

  • #2
    Who cares about 'between provinces' - that's just a tag you are using to make the situation seem worse than it is.

    In order to do 50-50, both parents will have to be able to get the child to/from school in some reasonable amount of time (to me, that would 45 minutes or less).

    Just to clarify - you aren't suggesting that the kid goes to Ottawa school for 1 week and Gatineau school the next week?

    Given that your child is settled in Ottawa, and father has only 30% time, likely you have a good case for him to go to school in Ottawa. I'm not a lawyer, that's just based on what I've read here, and in various cases on www.canlii.org.

    It's a pity (for the child) the father didn't put up more of an objection when you moved away.

    So unless one of you moves closer the other other, your kid will see Dad only on the weekends.

    I'd think that each provinces' tables should be set to account for the typical gross-vs net proportion. He's paying based on Quebec tables? And I guess if you move to 50-50, your portion would be determined from Ontario tables. Problem solved. For daycare, you would be splitting the non-subsidized portion anyway proportional to gross income (problem here, but a small one given your kid is entering kindergarten, and you have subsidy)

    Him communicating only in French to you looks pretty bad on him. That's on day to day stuff, as well as court papers? It is artificially creating conflict instead of working towards resolution. He is taking a big risk that he will have to pay some of your legal costs. How are you managing - do you use a translator, or do you have enough french to figure it out?

    No comment on transferring - sorry.
    Last edited by dinkyface; 02-03-2013, 12:33 PM.

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    • #3
      Clarifications

      Hi,

      I stand by my label "between provinces" because I am learning every day there are significant differences, not just in the judicial system, but healthcare, education, language, etc. particularly between the Quebec and Ontario systems.

      We were common-law - in Quebec if your name is not on the deed (my situation), you have no claim on family home. So I had no choice but to move.

      MA

      Comment


      • #4
        Ah, so you did not just mean "schooling across the divide", but 'parenting across the divide'.

        I don't accept as logical argument that because there was ONE house in Gatineau that you could not live in, that you were forced to move to Ottawa. There were other reasons for that move.

        How much of a school commute would you/he be facing if going to school in Gatineau/Ottawa? That's kind of critical info for your case.

        Comment


        • #5
          Abusive situation, but I had actually not been seeking views on reasons.

          I think I have mistaken the purpose of this forum and will be unsubscribing so there is no need for others to respond further.

          MA

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by movingahead View Post
            Hi,

            I stand by my label "between provinces" because I am learning every day there are significant differences, not just in the judicial system, but healthcare, education, language, etc. particularly between the Quebec and Ontario systems.

            We were common-law - in Quebec if your name is not on the deed (my situation), you have no claim on family home. So I had no choice but to move.

            MA
            what is the travel time between the two places?

            Comment


            • #7
              There is no need to unsubscribe. Some people will challenge your ideas, this is helpful, it is what you will go up against in court. See this as a way to prepare your case.

              The courts are more concerned about the time traveled, not the distance or the provincial boarders.

              To prepare you, the father can point to the child (presumably) being born in Quebec, and the subsidized daycare as a means of lowering costs for both of you.

              Generally it is in the child's best interest to have equal and open access to both parents. If you accept that the father is caring and competant 30% of the time, you have to detail what your argument is against 50%.

              Focus on positive things about your parenting plan, not negative things about the father, unless you are genuinely concerned about the child's wll being and want sole custody and to restrict the father completely.

              I am not sure about how easy it is to change jurisdictions; you certainly have to have compelling reasons that you can show.

              Comment


              • #8
                Don't be alarmed Movingahead. You will get good factual information here. Just take just that from the opinion that is offered as well.

                I don't know anything about the 50/50 split but I think the longer you have "status quo" the better.

                As far as court, in Ontario, custody issues must be filed in the jurisdiction that the child currently lives in unless both parents agree. That may eliminate the need for an interpreter if it is filed in an Ontario court.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Just a little hint- if you can't stand up to the simple questions here, how do you expect to stand up to his lawyer?

                  You have to understand that no one can provide you with helpful tips if you are not willing to provide a little details.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I do not beleive that the distance here is an issue, Ottawa-Gatineau is so close, as these two cities are only separated by a bridge and I can walk from Ottawa to Gatineau.

                    This is a common living arrangement in Ottawa, people live in one province and work in the other.

                    I beleive that OP is asking about the impact of 50:50 on Health care and other services that really differ between the province. I will be surprise that the child would be able to get an health card from both provine but you never know and should call OHIP and doe the same with the Quebec side.

                    If you have to chose one over the other, I will go with Ontario for Health care, education has greather benefits on the Quebec side but again the child will be able to benerfit specially for post-secondary by using his father's address at that time.

                    The child may be able benefit from both provinces, you should get the information directly for services providers or even select some on one side and other on the other side ( best of both world).

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      movingahead has stated she has left the boards. I am closing the thread. If she wishes to resume in the future she may start a new thread.

                      Comment

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