Friends,
Just a quick word about the dynamics around here.
We're all in a shitty place and that's why we're here.
And we're all just a bunch of anonymous 1s and 0s zipping though the phone lines and from microwave tower to microwave tower.
I came on here a while ago, all frantic and whiny and scared and teary-eyed because my mean old ex was going to take me for everything and make me lose my house and I'd never see my kids again and wah, wah, wahhhhhh.
A couple of learned people here posted helpful suggestions and tossed out terms (e.g. ex parte) that I had never heard before. A couple offered support and said "I feel your pain." A couple said "sux to be you." One of the learned posters here kicked my ass, told me to quit my fucking whining about "the system" and to DO something about it. DO SOMETHING.
I did something.
Less than a year later I am now one of the rarest lifeforms on the planet: I am a single father with full custody and 100% parenting of my two children. I could, although I choose not to, collect CS from their mother.
My kids are healthy and happy and living in a huge house in an exclusive subdivision in Ottawa and are getting A's in school and are going to go to university and are going to be successful and are going to be able to afford the best old-folks home there is for me when it's time for me to start wearing diapers again.
If I had sat around on my ass whining and mewling and bawling and blaming the system I would, instead, be living in someone else's basement, would be lucky to see my kids (who would be living in Saskatchewan) once per year, and I would be eating Alpo because 105% of my income would be going to another province via FRO.
Have no doubt: The "system" is broken. The "system" is self serving. The "system" is an industry.
But, the current "system" is all that we have. You can choose to work with it or you can choose to be a victim.
So, yeah, if someone comes on here whining and mewling and bawling and blaming the system, I may, if I think they're worth the effort, kick their asses and say DO SOMETHING. I do this because a kick in the ass is what I needed and it worked for me and I choose to pay it forward. I don't give a rat's ass about you or your situation, but if I can contribute one small bit toward making the system work for someone instead of itself, and maybe help someone crawl out of the shit-filled cesspool they are digging for themselves, then I will have begun to pay back (by paying forward) the "bully" who kicked my ass.
Thanks DTTE - both from me, and from my kids who are happy and healthy.
Thanks also to LV, IPP, et.al. who all helped enormously.
[edit] And also to Blink, who helped with my speeling
It's not all roses, though: If you come on here asking how you can (ab)use the system in order to screw your ex, and/or how you can use your kids to hurt your ex, I will despise you with every ounce of my being. I will do what I can to see you rot in misery, as such is what you deserve. Is that "baggage" that I carry around? You bet your ass it is. And if you knew me, and knew what my kids went though, you would understand.
Executive summary: If someone on here tells you that you're being an asshole and invites you to stop whining and DO something besides blaming the system, take a minute and consider that advice - no matter how much you might not want to hear it. It might change your life.
Some of the people you think are bitter and twisted are actually incredible success stories. Just sayin' ...
... and now back to our regularly scheduled frivolity.
Cheers!
Gary
Just a quick word about the dynamics around here.
We're all in a shitty place and that's why we're here.
And we're all just a bunch of anonymous 1s and 0s zipping though the phone lines and from microwave tower to microwave tower.
I came on here a while ago, all frantic and whiny and scared and teary-eyed because my mean old ex was going to take me for everything and make me lose my house and I'd never see my kids again and wah, wah, wahhhhhh.
A couple of learned people here posted helpful suggestions and tossed out terms (e.g. ex parte) that I had never heard before. A couple offered support and said "I feel your pain." A couple said "sux to be you." One of the learned posters here kicked my ass, told me to quit my fucking whining about "the system" and to DO something about it. DO SOMETHING.
I did something.
Less than a year later I am now one of the rarest lifeforms on the planet: I am a single father with full custody and 100% parenting of my two children. I could, although I choose not to, collect CS from their mother.
My kids are healthy and happy and living in a huge house in an exclusive subdivision in Ottawa and are getting A's in school and are going to go to university and are going to be successful and are going to be able to afford the best old-folks home there is for me when it's time for me to start wearing diapers again.
If I had sat around on my ass whining and mewling and bawling and blaming the system I would, instead, be living in someone else's basement, would be lucky to see my kids (who would be living in Saskatchewan) once per year, and I would be eating Alpo because 105% of my income would be going to another province via FRO.
Have no doubt: The "system" is broken. The "system" is self serving. The "system" is an industry.
But, the current "system" is all that we have. You can choose to work with it or you can choose to be a victim.
So, yeah, if someone comes on here whining and mewling and bawling and blaming the system, I may, if I think they're worth the effort, kick their asses and say DO SOMETHING. I do this because a kick in the ass is what I needed and it worked for me and I choose to pay it forward. I don't give a rat's ass about you or your situation, but if I can contribute one small bit toward making the system work for someone instead of itself, and maybe help someone crawl out of the shit-filled cesspool they are digging for themselves, then I will have begun to pay back (by paying forward) the "bully" who kicked my ass.
Thanks DTTE - both from me, and from my kids who are happy and healthy.
Thanks also to LV, IPP, et.al. who all helped enormously.
[edit] And also to Blink, who helped with my speeling
It's not all roses, though: If you come on here asking how you can (ab)use the system in order to screw your ex, and/or how you can use your kids to hurt your ex, I will despise you with every ounce of my being. I will do what I can to see you rot in misery, as such is what you deserve. Is that "baggage" that I carry around? You bet your ass it is. And if you knew me, and knew what my kids went though, you would understand.
Executive summary: If someone on here tells you that you're being an asshole and invites you to stop whining and DO something besides blaming the system, take a minute and consider that advice - no matter how much you might not want to hear it. It might change your life.
Some of the people you think are bitter and twisted are actually incredible success stories. Just sayin' ...
... and now back to our regularly scheduled frivolity.
Cheers!
Gary
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