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  • Bullies and Bitching

    Friends,

    Just a quick word about the dynamics around here.

    We're all in a shitty place and that's why we're here.

    And we're all just a bunch of anonymous 1s and 0s zipping though the phone lines and from microwave tower to microwave tower.

    I came on here a while ago, all frantic and whiny and scared and teary-eyed because my mean old ex was going to take me for everything and make me lose my house and I'd never see my kids again and wah, wah, wahhhhhh.

    A couple of learned people here posted helpful suggestions and tossed out terms (e.g. ex parte) that I had never heard before. A couple offered support and said "I feel your pain." A couple said "sux to be you." One of the learned posters here kicked my ass, told me to quit my fucking whining about "the system" and to DO something about it. DO SOMETHING.

    I did something.

    Less than a year later I am now one of the rarest lifeforms on the planet: I am a single father with full custody and 100% parenting of my two children. I could, although I choose not to, collect CS from their mother.

    My kids are healthy and happy and living in a huge house in an exclusive subdivision in Ottawa and are getting A's in school and are going to go to university and are going to be successful and are going to be able to afford the best old-folks home there is for me when it's time for me to start wearing diapers again.

    If I had sat around on my ass whining and mewling and bawling and blaming the system I would, instead, be living in someone else's basement, would be lucky to see my kids (who would be living in Saskatchewan) once per year, and I would be eating Alpo because 105% of my income would be going to another province via FRO.

    Have no doubt: The "system" is broken. The "system" is self serving. The "system" is an industry.

    But, the current "system" is all that we have. You can choose to work with it or you can choose to be a victim.

    So, yeah, if someone comes on here whining and mewling and bawling and blaming the system, I may, if I think they're worth the effort, kick their asses and say DO SOMETHING. I do this because a kick in the ass is what I needed and it worked for me and I choose to pay it forward. I don't give a rat's ass about you or your situation, but if I can contribute one small bit toward making the system work for someone instead of itself, and maybe help someone crawl out of the shit-filled cesspool they are digging for themselves, then I will have begun to pay back (by paying forward) the "bully" who kicked my ass.

    Thanks DTTE - both from me, and from my kids who are happy and healthy.

    Thanks also to LV, IPP, et.al. who all helped enormously.

    [edit] And also to Blink, who helped with my speeling

    It's not all roses, though: If you come on here asking how you can (ab)use the system in order to screw your ex, and/or how you can use your kids to hurt your ex, I will despise you with every ounce of my being. I will do what I can to see you rot in misery, as such is what you deserve. Is that "baggage" that I carry around? You bet your ass it is. And if you knew me, and knew what my kids went though, you would understand.

    Executive summary: If someone on here tells you that you're being an asshole and invites you to stop whining and DO something besides blaming the system, take a minute and consider that advice - no matter how much you might not want to hear it. It might change your life.

    Some of the people you think are bitter and twisted are actually incredible success stories. Just sayin' ...

    ... and now back to our regularly scheduled frivolity.

    Cheers!

    Gary
    Last edited by Gary M; 04-17-2011, 11:44 AM. Reason: Misspelled "successful" - how's THAT for ironic?

  • #2
    Enormously. You're welcome.

    *ducks*

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    • #3
      Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
      Enormously. You're welcome
      I hate you

      (tttttthhhhhhhhhhhppppppppttttttttttttttt......... )

      Cheers!

      Gary

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      • #4
        Pfft. You wish you could.
        Last edited by blinkandimgone; 04-17-2011, 11:23 AM. Reason: because i effing wanted to...

        Comment


        • #5
          Too right Gary!

          and btw -

          How many pilots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
          Just one, the pilot holds the lightbulb and the world revolves around him.

          Comment


          • #6
            Wow, just wow. Great post. You said it in spades brother.

            Thank you!
            Last edited by dadtotheend; 04-17-2011, 12:05 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Nicely put

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              • #8
                Awesome post!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Now if only that message could be pinned & newbies are forced to read it before posting...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Dude, I wholeheartedly agree.
                    I have recieved an enormous amount of help from some off this site, who don't pull punches about the reality of the situation.

                    There are some freakin' whiners, and there are some who should maybe tone it down a bit.
                    But all in all, discovering this site has been the best help I could have asked for.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Motorizer View Post
                      Dude, I wholeheartedly agree.
                      I have recieved an enormous amount of help from some off this site, who don't pull punches about the reality of the situation.

                      There are some freakin' whiners, and there are some who should maybe tone it down a bit.
                      But all in all, discovering this site has been the best help I could have asked for.
                      I love that you can spell enormous.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                        I love that you can spell enormous.
                        I TOTALLY hate you

                        tttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhpppppppppppppptttttttttttttt t.......

                        Cheers!

                        Gary

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Noted.



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                          • #14
                            The eye-opening 'initiation' new folks receive on this site is going to be nothing in comparison to their ex's lawyer in court. I figure if they're too wrapped up in themselves to appreciate the wake-up call, they're going to lose anyways no matter what advice we provide.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Excellent post, Gary. Well said.

                              Comment

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