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Decisions - who has the say when you can’t agree

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  • #16
    Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
    This is in no way a joint parenting decision. That would extend to things like medical, religious and education. Day to day care decisions are up to the parent who has them on that day.

    I would simply ignore. He can do what he wants on his time, if he chooses daycare then so be it, you are in no way obligated to do the same.

    This ^^



    Joint custody in no way covers this sort of matter. As Blink said, it relates to medical, education and religious matters. This is a day to day parenting time decision. I would ignore and should the ex persist, I would send a polite email advising what joint custody pertains to (medical, education and religion) and that how you are allowed to use your reasonable judgment for day to day matters occurring during your parenting time.


    Then ignore the blow back.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
      There are zero laws around what age kids can babysit or stay home alone.
      Believe it or not, I think the law in Ontario is, in theory, that kids cannot be alone until they are 16. I'll see if I can dig up a source for that, I could be completely wrong.

      The "10 year old" and "12 year old" cut off dates are of course complete fiction. Interestingly though, both the police and CAS often believe that those are real laws. Turns out legal training is not required for those positions.

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      • #18
        Janus does this article help?

        https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/201...ds-keenan.html

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        • #19
          Originally posted by kate331 View Post


          That was spot on


          The law is that until the kid is 16, you don't have the unmitigated right to let them stay home alone. You can always be held responsible, and the government is free to intervene. And... they do intervene, as many cases show.


          Meanwhile when I was 8 years old I was taking public transit for about 20 minutes a day, and when I got home I would take out my bike and come home for supper. You know you are getting old when you wax nostalgic about the good old days.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Janus View Post
            Meanwhile when I was 8 years old I was taking public transit for about 20 minutes a day, and when I got home I would take out my bike and come home for supper. You know you are getting old when you wax nostalgic about the good old days.

            My mom used to go out and leave us in the care of the 14 yo sibling. We ended up in our rooms with the doors tied shut and no recourse because mom took all the phones with her in a bag.

            Ahh the good old days!

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            • #21
              I recall when my son was 12 my older brother ripped me a new one because I was still driving my son to and from places. He said my parenting skills were lacking for not teaching my son independence and how to get around the city by bus. He was then in very senior position in Vancouver PD and mentioned it was simply dangerous for kids not to know how to use public transit. I could see his logic and very soon thereafter my son took bus everywhere. Sometimes it is hard to cut the apron strings.

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              • #22
                This is my feeling - that I want him to gain the life skills of being independent and taking care of himself a bit more. I see kids in my classroom every day who need their hands held for every little decision (11/12 year olds!) and it is mind blowing. I feel nostalgic for the good old days too. I was taking care of 3 younger siblings at age 12 and babysitting all over my neighbourhood.
                Also, I think though the age indicated here is 16 (technically), I highly doubt a court is going to find fault with my decision to allow my child to get himself on the bus in the morning when: a) he’s 12 b) he’s taken training courses c) I deem him mature enough and d) I will have backup plans/rules/parameters in place for him.
                That is if control freak ex decides to make good on his threat.


                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                • #23
                  There is no law that specifically outlines the age that children can remain alone. It is a case by case situation. I work in the legal system and am asked this everyday. Some 11 yr olds are more responsible than their parents. However, if you left a 10 yr old alone for 3 days there would be an issue with CAS. Leaving a 10 yr responsible child alone before/after school would only prompt an eye roll from police or CAS on the parent who is alleging abuse as they would clearly be using the system to try and document the other parent. Just because you call police or make a report with CAS doesn't mean it is a true and honest account of the situation. As far as the original poster, do your son a favour and let him stay home alone. It is our job as parents to teach independence. Ignore the ex and his effort to control.

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