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  • Settlement conference and other issues....

    Well we seem to be making some progress..sort of..

    We have spoken with the OCL, though there seems to be a big misunderstanding..from what the childrens lawyer said, there is nothing in the paperwork to indicate that my husband is pursuing custody, ( why else would we ask the OCL to get involved if custody wasn't an issue?) ...in the meantime our lawyer is trying to contact the childrens lawyer and figure out what exactly is going on.

    A settlement conference has been booked for the end of May. My concern is that my husbands ex has not retained a new lawyer since her last one took her to court to be removed as her counsel. Apparently the ex never paid her. Her lawyer was a legal aid lawyer and I'm wondering if she will be able to retain someone else that accepts cases from legal aid with her still having an outstanding balance..does anyone know anything regarding that??

    With that being said, assuming she doesn't retain a lawyer in time for the settlement conference whats going to happen when we show up for court? As it is we have to retain another lawyer in the Ottawa area to represent us ( as the cost of sending our lawyer from T.O. to spend the day in court up there would be ridiculous), and I hate the idea that we spend even more money and take the time off work to go to the conference only to have it adjourned to a later date til she gets representation. I can't believe for a minute that the judge would agree to let her represent herself as she is clearly off her rocker. All joking aside I do believe she is mentally ill.


    As well, another problem is that the childrens lawyer asked my husband if he has ever abused his son!!! Apparently husbands ex made rather wild accusations that when the son was visiting us last summer the police we're called for child abuse, of course none of this is true at all, a simple phone call to the local police would clear that up I would think. The childrens lawyer said they have to investigate such claims and it would unfortunately delay things even further.

    The longer we go on with this the more messed up is seems to become!!

    One other thing...we are considering asking for a restraining order against her in regards to all her phone calls...she leaves these highly abusive crazy messages on our home phone and husbands cell phone all the time. The last one accused my 2 children of being "Godless atheists" and used all kinds of profanity with crazy accusations. I'm really tired of flinching every time my phone rings because of the feeling of dread I have that it might be her once again to say who knows what about somebody.

    Is there anything we can do in regards to these phone calls??? We've asked repeatedly for her to not call unless it has something specifically to do with their son and only to call during certain times of day and she refuses to comply.

    Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks

  • #2
    I thought perhaps I'd do a quick rundown of pending events to help but my earlier statment in perspective.

    The outstand issues are:
    Custody...the parents seperated when the child was 3, lived with the mom who lived with the grandparents, mom went into a nursing home due to her poor health, after a short time it was decided that the son would come live with Dad. Mom got out of care after taking better care of herself and wouldn't give the child back after a summer visit. Dad reluctantly agreed on a trial basis...which as been dismal..she's been in and out of hospital due to her poor health management. Mom and son live alone.

    Spousal support..when the mom was served with the divorce papers she asked for spousal after 8 yrs of seperation..2 yrs have gone by with nothing but a financial statement from her to back up her claims.

    The divorce was granted after the judge agreed to having the issues severed.

    We've had one case conference March 2007. The ex didn't produce any of the court ordered documents including the intake form for OCL.

    There was another meeting which should have been a settlement conference but ex's lawyer booked a trial management conference instead, once the magistrate saw what was in front of him he halted proceedins and gave the ex 3 business days to produce the documents that were previously ordered. The court sent the intake forms for the OCL to ensure it was done. The court also asked her to produce another financial statement as her last one was obviously highly creative in expenses. Everything else she didn't produce such as her medical records, school records etc..

    Hope that helps some...

    Comment


    • #3
      What kind of health issues does she have?

      As for the phone calls keep a log and let her leave messages etc. All it does is strengthen your case about her state of mind. She is not doing herself any favours. Sometimes all you have to do is give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves. Not actually hang but you get my meaning.

      Comment


      • #4
        The ex has very uncontrolled diabetes, not that she can't control it but chooses not to. The one medical report we did receive from one of her many doctors was not very inspiring. That doctor said he was not very optimistic about her prognosis due to her continual non-compliance.

        I tend to believe that much of her erratic behaviour is due to her health issues and the many many meds she is on, in that one report the doctor submitted what meds she is one and it was a full page long. Very sad...

        We have been keeping her messages but frankly we don't even have to say or do anything we just have to let her talk and it becomes clear to anyone who is listening that she is not a mentally stable person. For example during the case conference she told the judge that the son could not visit his Dad because he was to be an Easter bunny in the St Pattys parade, I'm sure thats what any almost teenage boy wants to do..lol

        Comment


        • #5
          I find it odd that she has any claim to SS since she has been able to provide for herself without SS for 8 years, albeit not well, but she did. Usually if an ex requests SS they would do so relatively early after a separation happens. Spousal is for the purpose of aiding one in getting back on their feet, or for those that gave up a career for the sake of raising a child during the marriage, and as such would be at a disadvantage in the working world once on their own. Or if “during” the marriage she became so ill that they could not return to the work force. She is not incapable of controlling her illness; she chooses not to control it. She is not incapable of work once she does control her illness, she can’t work because she “won’t” help herself. I would be surprised if a judge ordered SS because she chose her situation.

          They separated after the child was 3, dad had the child, and she waited 8 more years to claim SS?
          Her claim is very weak, and I would venture that unless she is extremely lucky, will not get any court to order SS after 8 years of separation and her being able to live without it that long.
          I think you would be able to show the child is better in dad’s care, and that she has liberal access provided that she gets her illness under control. Submit the doctor’s letter about her unwillingness to comply with treatment and the meds etc. How can her care etc, in her present state, be deemed the be in the best interests of the child? You have a good case in dad’s favour.

          Comment


          • #6
            I agree with the above poster. How could the spousal support request be given any merit after all this time? It doesn't seem like the case would go "against" you but I know firsthand how stressful it is to get to that point!

            As you know judges can rule any way at any time. Just be concise and prove your point without burying her and trying to paint a worse picture. Based on what you say, the facts truly speak for themselves about her ability to be a mother.

            Comment


            • #7
              Well no statute of Limitation on SS, so that being said, and of course the needs and means thing, if she has needs and u have some extra means..... but Im sure the length of Marriage will come into play, and of course your finances. It seems like a long shot 4 her...... Kinda like the leafs winning the cup...

              Comment

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