I am mostly amicably separated for about 2 years now and have been using mediation services for the last few of months to develop a permanent parenting plan on route to divorce. I have the elementary school aged kids (3) for about 2/3 rds of the time and Dad for 1/3. One kid is autistic and has regularly trouble in school that requires intervention/pickup and intense management at home.
Dad wants joint custody which includes medical and school matters. Dad continues to refuse to have a cell phone (he never had one) in order to be directly reachable.
I recently got to know that when he travels and leaves kids (sometimes unbeknownst to me as he didn’t want to ask me to take care of them as I would know he has gone away) during his access time with a nanny/sitter for a few days, he does not provide the sitter with the location he travels to or even that he left the province or Canada. He argues that he is reachable by email within 24h and that in his physical absence he wouldn’t be able to do anything anyways if a kid needed attention and that he trusts the sitter to take care of non-emergency situations and if an emergency arose, the sitter could just contact me to take care of the situation. He also doesn’t want first right of refusal but believes that it should be his decision whom to give care of the children to during his access time when he is gone.
Of course, I am not happy with that arrangement as I believe he should be reachable but one can hardly force someone to have a cell phone. I also think that I should have FROR, but he doesn’t want me to know that he is gone away…friends have told me to go for full custody and control his access, but i believe Dad should be present in their lives .. what are my options ???
Dad wants joint custody which includes medical and school matters. Dad continues to refuse to have a cell phone (he never had one) in order to be directly reachable.
I recently got to know that when he travels and leaves kids (sometimes unbeknownst to me as he didn’t want to ask me to take care of them as I would know he has gone away) during his access time with a nanny/sitter for a few days, he does not provide the sitter with the location he travels to or even that he left the province or Canada. He argues that he is reachable by email within 24h and that in his physical absence he wouldn’t be able to do anything anyways if a kid needed attention and that he trusts the sitter to take care of non-emergency situations and if an emergency arose, the sitter could just contact me to take care of the situation. He also doesn’t want first right of refusal but believes that it should be his decision whom to give care of the children to during his access time when he is gone.
Of course, I am not happy with that arrangement as I believe he should be reachable but one can hardly force someone to have a cell phone. I also think that I should have FROR, but he doesn’t want me to know that he is gone away…friends have told me to go for full custody and control his access, but i believe Dad should be present in their lives .. what are my options ???
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