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Ex hasn't asked for access in 5 months now wants make up time

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  • Ex hasn't asked for access in 5 months now wants make up time

    Covid hit, it was his weekend, we both decided that out 9 yr old would stay with me that weekend to see what was going on.

    Since mid March 2020, the father hasn't asked once to have him on his time, every second weekend, once during the week.

    since March, our son got the odd phone call, some calls were 2 weeks apart.
    Some calls after he has been drinking, so not fun to explain that.

    he makes double I do 120K/yr , and I got - I can't afford groceries, going to barely have money for rent, Keep in mind I had to go through Maintenance enforcement to
    get any support, they are now garnishing his wages with an balance owing of $12000.00. As well as doesn't send in income tax info for the recalculation program, under calculated by $10K this yr now

    He called this week and asked to talk to me and now he said, when am I going to get my make up time.

    He calls from a payphone, no email

    The father is a rager, so always 0 to 60 in a second, So right away he is yelling and screaming at me, "Don't push me to where you don't want me to go"

    thoughts on how to handle this?

  • #2
    Ask him what he proposes for make up time. Remind him kid is in school weekly and his parenting time is every other weekend. Then leave it at that.

    The financial issue is separate. You need to call the enforcement agency and ask why they havent taken any action.

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    • #3
      thank you, yes mep alberta, is garnishing his as to pay monthly support, with an extra $100 to pay down the outstanding balance

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      • #4
        Then do the first thing I suggested.

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        • #5
          i will do just that thank you

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          • #6
            First of all, I would do this in writing. If he rages at you in writing that would be a good thing to have on hand for the future.

            Normally, I would say that if a parent chooses to miss parenting time, then they do not get any makeup time. However, in this case, it sounds like it was a mutual decision.

            Find out how much he wants, it might be less than you imagine.

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            • #7
              thank you, yes for sure in writing,

              like ia said previously, he has no phone that he claims, so calls from a pay phone, said he couldn't pay the bill so was cut off �� . would be easier to text and email for sure

              he actually said he wants 5 months of make up time. thats a hard no, not happening.

              not my problem he didn't ask to have our son the past 5months.

              the partying or what ever he has been doing is over now and convenient and has the time now? again not happening

              his father can now start his every second weekend for sure, but nothing more in my opinion.

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              • #8
                his father can now start his every second weekend for sure, but nothing more in my opinion.
                The "no compromise until I'm dead" plan often has unintended side effects. They are rarely positive.

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                • #9
                  you are right, the past couple weeks, the father has asked to take our son for lunch my weekend or not said yes for sure.

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                  • #10
                    uh question, if other parent is inconsistent and can't so much as keep the bills paid, AND flies off into a rage, etc etc...is there a question of the child's safety with said parent? will they have the basics for a visit? shelter? food?

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                    • #11
                      totally my concern, is why I'm hoping he is smat enough to not ask to have our son for hia weekend

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                      • #12
                        totally my concern, I'm hoping the father is smart enough to not ask to have our son for his upcoming weekend

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                        • #13
                          absolutely agree, it is again Fathers weekend, and did not asked for use of his time. So another relief that I don't have to worry, if in fact our son has what he needs.

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                          • #14
                            Janus said:
                            "Normally, I would say that if a parent chooses to miss parenting time, then they do not get any makeup time. However, in this case, it sounds like it was a mutual decision."

                            What difference does it make if the both parents agreed that the child should stay with one parent for such a long time?
                            Does it matter if it was the child decided that decided they wanted to stay with one parent for a few months?

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                            • #15
                              TMAC:
                              Inform him that you want all communications in writing and that you want to use an online thing like OurFamilyWizard. He won't like it because it won't allow him to rage and intimidate you. He may like it because it doesn't favor raging.

                              Phone calls are a terrible thing in this type of situation, I hope you recorded him.

                              Comment

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