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Unjust alimony payment requirements in today's laws

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  • #16
    Originally posted by logicalvelocity
    excerpts of the law



    30. Every spouse has an obligation to provide support for himself or herself and for the other spouse, in accordance with need, to the extent that he or she is capable of doing so. R.S.O. 1990, c. F.3, s. 30; 1999, c. 6, s. 25 (3); 2005, c. 5, s. 27 (7).

    This is where NEEDS and MEANS originates from.

    LV -I don't for a second disagree that this is the "law" - I just disagree with the law!

    I've said it before, and I'll say it again, and until I am blue in the face ...

    adults should support themselves - and it is my not-so-humble opinion that there are very, very cases where this is not possible.

    It seems to me that many people (mostly women) ignore the obligation to provide support for himself or herself part, and focus on the and for the other spouse part, and unfortunately, we are at a time in history where the law is supporting that.

    I just think that if more people fought against that, rather than accepting it as fact, it could change. Laws change all the time in this country, that's one of the beauties of democracy.

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    • #17
      workingthruit,

      A friend of mine lives in England. She tells me their family laws have been reformed and they no longer have spousal support. Apparently the reformed laws have been in effect for a number of years. I have never verified this as being true, with actually searching for the England Statutes and reading it for myself. Perhaps it is google time.


      LV

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      • #18
        Originally posted by logicalvelocity
        workingthruit,

        A friend of mine lives in England. She tells me their family laws have been reformed and they no longer have spousal support. Apparently the reformed laws have been in effect for a number of years. I have never verified this as being true, with actually searching for the England Statutes and reading it for myself. Perhaps it is google time.


        LV
        Something I find amazing is the very common misconception that there is no 'alimony' in Canada ... I don't know that the courts still refer to it is such, but a rose by any other name, and all that jazz!

        Let us know what you find out about spousal support in England, will ya?

        Comment


        • #19
          Well, did some searching and I did come up with some terms such as spousal, alimony, and maintenance but no luck pointing to a specific act that referenced to it being in effect or abolished.


          http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts.htm

          To get a better understanding of the English laws,

          Some comparative notes to remember:

          1. There is no written English constitution.

          2. There is no official codification of English statutes.

          3. Any statute passed by Parliament is by definition valid and not subject to review by the courts. Thus a statute’s “constitutionality” is not an issue a court can address; Parliament alone may act to change a law.


          http://www.law.duke.edu/lib/researchguides/english.html



          LV
          Last edited by logicalvelocity; 05-10-2006, 08:40 PM.

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          • #20
            Unjust Alimony Payments

            You think that you have it bad, I was married to a very abusive man for 4 and 3/4 years, that lived off of me and I worked very hard. I went through the worse hell and the Judge is awarding him 5 years of support payments.
            There is no real justice.
            PK

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            • #21
              I find this discussion about support interesting. When I left mt first husband after 21 years of marriage beacuse he was sleeping with other women on almost a daily bases, I received no spousal support because I had recently started working. I had been a stay at home mom until my youngest was 9 years old. I was the sole caregiver because my ex was away trucking and he also did not concider child care a father's resposibility. He quit work as soon as he received notice to pay child support. His life went downhill and eventually he committed suicide.
              I have been married to a wonderful man for 10 years. His ex wife worked as a nurse through the marriage and he took care of the children at least half the time. He pays child support based on what he earned at a much higher paying job than he has now. He also has been paying spousal support. Even though he was married less than 10 years, he has been paying support for close to 12 years because his ex quit work as they were separating and claimed she had been totally dependent on him and was sole caregiver of the children. They settled out of court with a mediator because he was told if he went to court he would be worse off. The spousal support was to last for one year but somehow that has been made indeffinite. He is hoping to get out of that sometime but who knows how the court will respond.
              I am just writing to let people know that the law can work both ways but both my husband and I have been on the loosing end of it. IT needs to be fair and both spouses need to be responsible for themselves.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by workingthruit
                WOW - I could not disagree more.

                As an analogy - I work for an employer (outside my home) - I decide, by my own free will, to leave this job - should my employer continue to pay me? I QUIT. They didn't ask me to leave ... I left of my own free will. So, if I leave my marriage, again, of my own free will, why in the name of all that is just and fair should my spouse be forced to support me??
                That's an oversimplified analogy.

                Perhaps your employer didn't ask you to leave. Perhaps they made you work in an unsafe environment; or your manager was making advances at you and your HR department didn't respond - or maybe they were giving you crap work to do all the time in hopes that you would quit. In the employment scenario, these equate to passive dismissal. That is your employer didn't fire you, but they made the situation impossible to live in and therefore you had to leave. It's against the law and if proven your employer would pay you a severance.

                Marriage is much the same. Just because one person is the "leaver" doesn't mean that person is solely responsible for the breakdown of the marriage.

                That said - I do not believe in long term spousal support. I do believe that those who find themselves in need of spousal support should take immediate steps to become self-sufficient. I find it offensive that I work my butt off to support myself and my kids while other women/men cry that they cannot possibly work and raise children at the same time. Being able to stay at home is a nice privilege to have but it is hardly a reality for most of us.

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                • #23
                  Adultery is wrong no matter how you look at it. Unfortunatly it doesn't matter. After 11 years of marriage & no kids, my ex is going for the house, none of the debts, half my pension (which she is legally entitled to I know), & $1400-1500/mth spousal support. While we both did our part to destroy our marriage, me with a gambling problem(which I'm told could be used against me in court, how fair is that), & her with affairs numerous times. At the end when I was struggling to overcome my gambling addiction, she's telling me I'm a good man, & she sees us together in the future while she's out having an affair. Then has the nerve to say she thought I knew when I found out.

                  Once she realized she wasn't getting me back, it only took a year & a half to sink in, she hasn't worked a day since, after working all through the marriage.

                  Sorry for rambling been a bad day & adultery just got me stirred up.

                  In my opinion Adultery is wrong & has nothing to do with religion & yeah I think it should at the very least should be considered in family law. I got married not an economic partnership when I said my vows.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Jenny,

                    You sound like you are in favor of adultery, and if so I do not agree with that, sorry.

                    Yes my ex wife hired childcare while the children were home the first 5 years. She quit her job shortly after meeting me, and never worked since. Yes I stayed at home to care for the children as much as I could, which was causing tension at my office because my boss (who didn’t have kids yet at the time) threatened to revoke my working from home privileges unless I only did company work from 9 to 5 while at home.

                    It took me 8 years to leave because I was trying to hold my family together for the sake of my children; until everyone including my ex’s shrink said I was not doing my children any favors by staying married.

                    I didn't do anything to drive my ex wife to have affairs. That is actually a very insulting accusation, Jenny. If a woman wrote in that they were raped, would you reply to her that the assaulter could claim she drove him to it?

                    Our society has divorce as the moral way to cancel the "married for life" contract, and is the fair way to begin a relationship with another person. Cheating while married not only breaks the "married for life contract", but is immoral and is a sin. I feel very sorry for you if you do not see that adultery is a very hurtful and wrong thing to do.

                    Comment

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