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  • #31
    Originally posted by Justice4us View Post
    Changes need to be made to an archaic, punitive system that caters to the 'entitlement' of women who feel that it is their ex-husbands responsibility to take care of them financially for as long as possible because they married them. Just a heads up...times have changed...we are living in a society in which women can and do work for a living, and having second or blended families has become common. Let's look at situations and family incomes on a case by case basis for some level of fairness here.
    What do we do about those MEN who continually create more children without properly looking after the ones they first created?

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    • #32
      Originally posted by Justice4us View Post
      I pay my ex the full tabled amount for two kids as she has primary care. We BOTH have good-paying jobs...I make bit more than her (on paper) but from what I gather she is close to a 6-figure salary herself through recent promotions etc. Her income is not considered at all when it comes to the amount I am required to pay her monthly. In addition, I drive one hour one way to pick up and drop off my kids every other weekend as she refuses to meet halfway.I am re-married with two stepchildren and my new wife does not receive child support. We had to purchase a new house big enough for us and our 4 children...it was important to me that the kids were comfortable when we were all together. After paying the ex the huge amount that I do for child support, we are able to pay our basic monthly expenses but do not have money for any of the extras...all the kids have to suffer somewhat because of this. Most of my disposable income goes to the ex, and from what the kids tell us, most of the time their fridge is empty. Their mother provides them with the basics and if they ask for anything more she tells them she does not have money. Meanwhile, we have been told that she has renovators fixing up her house, she has bought new furniture, tv's, computers, replaced her roof, fixed her driveway, bought a brand new car, and is searching for a new house. I will be needing a new car soon myself but have no idea how I will be able to pay for it.
      I deposit the child support money into a joint account and have noticed that she only takes the money out in large sums, obviously whenever she wants to purchase a big ticket item. She is not at all accountable for how that money is spent...is this fair to anyone including the children?
      Fair would be to determine the cost of raising a child on a monthly basis, look at each parents monthly income, and then determine what each parent should be contributing individually to find the difference.
      Just a heads up-not every primary care parent has a low income and not every one of them is using the funds issued to them for the benefit of the children.
      Something needs to be done to change the system so that the receiving parent is not enjoying a higher standard of living at the expense of a parent or family who is/are suffering financially, and to make the receiving parent accountable for how those funds are being spent.
      Originally posted by Justice4us View Post
      I am the new wife here...just FYI, I work full time and was self-sufficient before getting re-married. And by the way, I am one of those rare women who allowed my ex to have shared custody (half the time) and I did not request child support because I believed we should divide the children's expenses equally. I did not want to cause undue financial hardship for my ex or take his kids away from him. Right now my ex and I give my kids what we can...they don't get everything they want but we make it work. And no, I do not expect my new husband to give me a grand lifestyle...we share in the household expenses and make the best of our financial situation.
      Be careful not to make judgements without all the facts.
      It is getting late and I must be tired. The first and last posts do not make any sense. Is it me or are the facts messed up?

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Justice4us View Post
        Be careful not to make judgements without all the facts.
        Your statements will be considered here according to what you write. How else would they be considered? You should be careful to give complete information if you don't like the responses you get when you generalize.

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        • #34
          LOL - think about all the judges out there who have to listen to this crap day in day out. Total garbage in my opinion.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by SRT View Post
            It is getting late and I must be tired. The first and last posts do not make any sense. Is it me or are the facts messed up?
            I got a headache trying to read the solid wall of text, so I gave up halfway through.

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            • #36
              Ex is she/her then it's he/him. Hell I'm going to bed.

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              • #37
                I think the "Mr." Wasn't doing a very good job, so the new "Mrs." Took over.

                If we are to truly judge in fairness, we need to hear from the X too. Wonder what her side of the story would be?

                Comment


                • #38
                  I'm not sure what the rational of not considering the receiver's income but in Quebec they do.

                  Quebec is way more fair with these things.

                  There is no accountability for child support, there could be but it would take a serious campaign. I haven't found any jurisdiction in the world that has child support accountability. I think this might because most of the time the issue is child support is so low (think 30k income) or not paid at all so maybe misspending money accounts for only 1% of CS cases.

                  The fact that the payee receive the government benefits also doesn't make sense to me. Consider the fact the PAYOR is the one who is paying the child support which is supposed to cover the needs of the child why does the Payee need the extra money.... In an intact house you would spend on your child's needs and get the tax benefits to help cover that cost.... Unless of course child support takes that into account but I haven't been able to find a reference.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                    There is no accountability for child support, there could be but it would take a serious campaign. I haven't found any jurisdiction in the world that has child support accountability.
                    I think I saw some posts a while back admiring Australia's system.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by arabian View Post
                      What do we do about those MEN who continually create more children without properly looking after the ones they first created?
                      Last time I checked it took two people to have a child. I think the question should be equally weighted against both parents and both genders.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        It is getting late and I must be tired. The first and last posts do not make any sense. Is it me or are the facts messed up?
                        Nah, you're fine. This is pretty typical in here when you get some self-righteous poster trying to justify their initial misguided rant when people call them on it. Yawn...whatever.

                        Or maybe they're the same person....lol.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Reform Needed NOW!

                          The title itself tells me a lot about the state of mind of HE/SHE/IT. I'll bet that if HE/SHE/IT was diagnosed with some rare disease, HE/SHE/IT would expect a cure for it NOW!

                          I predict unfavorable results. ''Your honor, WE need a ruling NOW!!''

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            I predict unfavorable results. ''Your honor, WE need a ruling NOW!!''
                            Nothing wrong with the idea of reform with regard to divorce laws including some of the things that are wrong with CS and SS. However, I'm not sure that this particular OP's problem is indicative of anything except that you have own the choices you make. I really wanted more children but I couldn't afford to have them (or take on anyone else's) and still live the lifestyle I wanted to. If you make the choice to take on the expense of someone else's kids...you can't rant and rave because you still have an existing obligation to the 1st set you made with your ex wife.

                            I would have felt a little more empathy had he been trying to figure out how to gain more access time with his real children or figure out a more equitable deal with driving time but nah, its him and his new wife whining about the ex getting CS.

                            Suffice to say, I won't be standing outside in the rain holding a sign and joining in a protest for this nonsense.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              In these situations the Ex/Custodial parent will not agree to extra parenting time with the other parent/Child Support Payor who pays top guideline support, and extraordinary expenses.

                              When the Child Support Payor is paying all those expenses, they then can't afford the legal/court fees involved in trying to get extra parenting time.

                              It also costs the child Support Payor/other parent expenses when they have their children too on top of what they already pay in CS. It probably costs me $150 every other weekend when I have my children in gas, food, activity expenses. I love my children and want as much time with them as I can get. I want them to enjoy their time with me.

                              I paid legal fees in getting weekend schedules with my children changed to work around my work schedule/as it had changed/ so ex then was denying me my weekend time. I also got holiday time set in place at this time, as ex had denied me Christmas.

                              Now because I got that extra time, I am at a point that I can go and try for more time........but it's very hard to come up with those funds in this situation.

                              My situation problem isn't being in a new spousal relationship....as I said previously, If I was single, I wouldn't be able to afford to live on my own based on my case. It is the past incidents between my Ex and I that I may never financially recover from. She got the house/ no buy out to me/ She lied to FRO, scammed me out of money that way/ She cancelled my car insurance--that was a $4,000 fine when I got pulled over, informed of it!


                              Oh and as far as contacting the government about ex being in a spousal relationship/ not claiming common law. Ex's spouse is not using the same address as her. So how would there be any proof for the Government about their situation?

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Yes, it takes two to make a baby...a man and a woman who both need to be responsible for the consequences of their actions, financially and otherwise.When I am talking about the unfairness of the system I am not referring to the 'deadbeats'...I am referring to the hard-working responsible men of this world who are getting screwed.

                                Comment

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