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Serving papers to someone out of province, and other questions..

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  • Serving papers to someone out of province, and other questions..

    Hoping someone can clarify this process for me. I know I need to go to the court house and speak to someone about filing papers, do I need an appointment to have someone help me fill them out? I'm looking for sole custody with reasonable visitation, as my ex lives on the other side of the country now.

    Can I send these papers by registered mail to him? What happens if he refuses to send the forms back at all?

    If he doesn't agree, does he need to come back to my province to fight it in court, or can he fight it from his new province?

    Will the person at the court house put all of the terms I'd like in proper legal language on the forms? I spoke to a lawyer on the phone, who told me I definitely want to have it stated that while our daughter visits him this summer he cannot access family court services with her in his province, and that if he does not return her, the authorities are to locate her and return her to me. The lawyer I spoke to told me I definitely needed a lawyer to fill these out, but I assume all lawyers would say that, and he wanted $400 an hour with a $3500 retainer. So I'm trying to do this without a lawyer if at all possible.

    My ex wants our daughter to visit for the entire summer, but she only wants to visit him for half, and spend the other half here with us. I would really like to do what she wants, but I know he's going to have a complete fit about it. I had told him previously that he could have her for the great majority of the summer, but now that our daughter is saying she doesn't want to be there all summer, I'd like to find someway that everyone can mostly get what they want. Unfortunately, when she's in his care, she "changes" her mind to whatever it is he wants to do, I don't know if she's actually being pressured into it, or if she just doesn't want to disappoint her father so she says whatever she thinks he wants to hear. I'd like to avoid this sort of thing, as it happened over the Christmas holidays and caused her A LOT of stress. I don't believe she's capable of making these decisions. In fact she told me the other day that she wanted me to make the plans, but that she wanted to spend half the summer here. How do I do this? Do I just tell him, this is how it's going to be, she'll fly out on this date, and you return her on this date or else? I'd like to word it in a much nicer way than that if possible, but leave no room for her "changing" her mind once she's with him, to keep the stress off her.

    Last, if he refuses to sign the papers and agree to the custody arrangement, what am I supposed to do? The lawyer told me it would be a VERY bad idea to allow her out of the province without an enforcable custody order. Will it come back to bite me later if he refuses to sign and I tell him I just can't send her unless there's an order in place? I don't want to keep her from him, but I REALLY don't want this to turn into a nightmare where she's being held out of province and not being returned to me.

    Thank you to anyone who made it this far!

  • #2
    I was told by my lawyer that whatever proceedings must take place must be in the jurisdiction of where the child resides.

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    • #3
      I'm not sure if you are in Ontario or not, in Ontario at the courthouse is a duty counsel who will help you with form. The duty counsel is funded by legal aid and my ask how much you earn but will at least answer questions about filling out forms and proceedure.

      You can also use the Family Law Information Centre (FLIC) there is one one in most courthouse that handle family law cases. You can get a free half-hour consultation with a lawyer. Arrive early, there is always a line at my courthouse. The clerk will also answer basic questions and there are computers there you can use for research and they will give you tips on finding out things for yourself.

      Call the Law Scociety of Upper Canada and use the referral service. It is I think a $5 charge on your phone bill, and they will refer you to a lawyer who will give you a half hour consultation for free about your case. They will refer you to an appropriate lawyer (ie Family Law, not Criminal) and many of the lawyers will do the consult by phone. You can try multiple lawyers this way, but obviously you will only get so far with each. But you should find one who will not require such a ridiculous amount of money. The main thing you want to ask about through the referral is to find someone to consult about filling the forms properly without taking on the full case for $3500.

      A lawyer should very well be able to help you fill the forms in an hour without taking a full retainer. You can also get a law student at the University (they have a service at Osgood Hall in Toronto and other universities around the province with law schools) or a paralegal. Paralegals and law clerks are fully capable of helping you with the forms for under $100 but you need one that is familiar with specificly family law of course.

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      • #4
        forms

        check out the government website in your province maybe they have forms that refer too inter province

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