So over the years we've had a lot of 'fun' with my wifes ex and his inability to show up on time to pick their daughter, as well as being late for dropping her back off. He chose to move a few hours away a couple years ago, and as such, he does both the pickup and drop off, every other weekend when its his time. Pickups and dropoffs take place at a public location.
Its come to the point we actually kept track of it over the last year (first record being 7 Jan 2018), with 9 late pickups occuring, and 12 late drop offs. Some of those are as little as 5 minutes late, or as much as 140 minutes late. The average on pickups being 27 minutes late, and for dropoffs its 82 minutes late. One of the late pickups, he texted 14 minutes prior to the timing stating he has a headache and wouldnt be coming, and requests to pick her up at 1000 the next day. He doesnt show up at 1000, nor contact us until 1530 stating that he is in town now and will pick her up. Another time for a drop off he texts and refuses to bring her back that day as he has a headache, and said he would bring her back the next day at 1000. He decided to go to work and didnt bother to make arrangements for the childs return, he got around to bringing her back at 2045 that night.
Communication from him is pretty much non-existent. If my wife is lucky she will receive a text that says he is 15min away, thats about the extent of it however, anything sent from her is ignored.
Christmas was a real treat. My wife had been attempting to sort out arrangements for the holiday in regards to the childs schedule, since the 25th of November, however, it was ignored. In person attempts were grunted at, and he would just state he'll get back to her. Last year he had her overnight on Christmas Eve, so my wife was of course looking to get her this year with us. His normal visit with her (Every other weekend, Friday 1930 - Monday 1930), went right up to Christmas Eve. As he made no attempts at sorting things out, when the pickup occured on Friday, he was told to bring her back as per normal, he tried to argue but was firmly refused, and he just agreed, shut up, and left with her.
Then the fun began... No contact from him whatsoever the entire time. He doesnt show up on the 24th. 25th, nothing, until about 1300 he just shows up at my wifes mothers, drops the daughter off, and leaves. We find out only after her mother calls her to let her know. Police had been called before he returned her, however there is no police enforcement clause in the current order, so they were useless and uninterested.
So we are now trying to sort out our options and decide on a course of action. What we have learned from this is that a police enforcement clause is something we are going to have to get added to the order. Options from what I can think of:
1 - Pursue contempt based on him not sticking to the timelines ordered. Even if something more than a slap on the wrist occured, behaviour would likely only change for a short time, if at all.
2 - Get the current order changed to include police enforcement. Insufficient on its own, as it would likely only be effective for times when he decides on being a day or more late.
3 - Follow the information on this site https://www.alberta.ca/enforce-parenting-time.aspx and hit him with a whopping $100.00 fine. Also only useful for times when he is refusing to return her on the proper day.
If anyone knows of other potential options that are available, especially for dealing with the consistent lateness, I'd love to learn of them. Anything that is based on the other party being cooperative however is rather unlikely to have any sort of success.
I get that some people are going to think that its not a big deal with the late part. The timing of things however makes it into an issue. When a 6 year old is getting home around 2130 she is generally not going to be in bed and sleeping before 2230. Most weekdays she is going to daycare, which requires waking up for 0600. She's then getting less than 8 hours of sleep, when normally she is sleeping for 11 or 12 hours. It has a very noticeable effect on her mood the next day, and has also been noted by her teacher. Further each day after an exchange, my wife is working the next morning and has to be up for 0500, so this has an effect on her schedule as well.
Anyone have any ideas on options?
Its come to the point we actually kept track of it over the last year (first record being 7 Jan 2018), with 9 late pickups occuring, and 12 late drop offs. Some of those are as little as 5 minutes late, or as much as 140 minutes late. The average on pickups being 27 minutes late, and for dropoffs its 82 minutes late. One of the late pickups, he texted 14 minutes prior to the timing stating he has a headache and wouldnt be coming, and requests to pick her up at 1000 the next day. He doesnt show up at 1000, nor contact us until 1530 stating that he is in town now and will pick her up. Another time for a drop off he texts and refuses to bring her back that day as he has a headache, and said he would bring her back the next day at 1000. He decided to go to work and didnt bother to make arrangements for the childs return, he got around to bringing her back at 2045 that night.
Communication from him is pretty much non-existent. If my wife is lucky she will receive a text that says he is 15min away, thats about the extent of it however, anything sent from her is ignored.
Christmas was a real treat. My wife had been attempting to sort out arrangements for the holiday in regards to the childs schedule, since the 25th of November, however, it was ignored. In person attempts were grunted at, and he would just state he'll get back to her. Last year he had her overnight on Christmas Eve, so my wife was of course looking to get her this year with us. His normal visit with her (Every other weekend, Friday 1930 - Monday 1930), went right up to Christmas Eve. As he made no attempts at sorting things out, when the pickup occured on Friday, he was told to bring her back as per normal, he tried to argue but was firmly refused, and he just agreed, shut up, and left with her.
Then the fun began... No contact from him whatsoever the entire time. He doesnt show up on the 24th. 25th, nothing, until about 1300 he just shows up at my wifes mothers, drops the daughter off, and leaves. We find out only after her mother calls her to let her know. Police had been called before he returned her, however there is no police enforcement clause in the current order, so they were useless and uninterested.
So we are now trying to sort out our options and decide on a course of action. What we have learned from this is that a police enforcement clause is something we are going to have to get added to the order. Options from what I can think of:
1 - Pursue contempt based on him not sticking to the timelines ordered. Even if something more than a slap on the wrist occured, behaviour would likely only change for a short time, if at all.
2 - Get the current order changed to include police enforcement. Insufficient on its own, as it would likely only be effective for times when he decides on being a day or more late.
3 - Follow the information on this site https://www.alberta.ca/enforce-parenting-time.aspx and hit him with a whopping $100.00 fine. Also only useful for times when he is refusing to return her on the proper day.
If anyone knows of other potential options that are available, especially for dealing with the consistent lateness, I'd love to learn of them. Anything that is based on the other party being cooperative however is rather unlikely to have any sort of success.
I get that some people are going to think that its not a big deal with the late part. The timing of things however makes it into an issue. When a 6 year old is getting home around 2130 she is generally not going to be in bed and sleeping before 2230. Most weekdays she is going to daycare, which requires waking up for 0600. She's then getting less than 8 hours of sleep, when normally she is sleeping for 11 or 12 hours. It has a very noticeable effect on her mood the next day, and has also been noted by her teacher. Further each day after an exchange, my wife is working the next morning and has to be up for 0500, so this has an effect on her schedule as well.
Anyone have any ideas on options?
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