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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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Old 03-03-2009, 11:47 AM
independentgal independentgal is offline
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Default Can I ask to vary an access order based on indifferent father?

My ex brought me to court several times to hammer out an access order. I paid for a lawyer when one was retained at the time, and now receive paid legal advice (no lawyer of record now). It has been costly.

My ex refused to abide by the typical alternate weekend regime saying it did not work out for his new family-long story. Well over a year went by without my ex calling or having any access with his son by his choice.

In our recent motions, my ex insisted on breaking up the typical access regime, and the judge then ordered, a 1st and 3rd, 2nd and 4th weekend regime for us so both parties are equally unhappy with the access(all of our family is together only once every four weekends instead of two weekends a month)

Since the ink isn't even dry on the order(mid Jan) he has failed to pick up his son for all of his overnight access weekends and changed Christmas Day overnight unilaterally(did not take him but did not let me know until 8pm on Xmas Day), altered Boxing Day access(did not show up at time ordered) etc., not returned his son's calls as ordered etc. etc.

He even gave me the wrong email address to communicate with him. My son was stranded at school on two Fridays as the ex did not show up to pick him up directly from school.

I am not happy with this regime. He is not even exercising his access that he brought motions to get. I knew, and stated this in my affidavits, that my ex was doing this to frustrate my family's time(making it impossible to make plans ahead of time, organize pickups from school if necessary etc.) and he has proven that he has done just that!

My son is absolutely devastated that his father is not calling him back or taking him on his access. It has affected my son so much, I have gotten him into counselling as he is unable to deal with this.

I want to bring an immediate order to suspend access until OCL assesses the situation. I was denied this in my motion in December. I have since been awarded(on consent at same motion) sole custody of my son. I do not wish the OCL to intervene and assess custody, only access. Is this possible?

Is my ex's behavior of the last two months enough(further and better evidence) to bring a motion asking for OCL involvement, that was denied only 60 days ago?
Old 03-05-2009, 07:52 AM
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I feel that you have a good claim to vary access yet again as there has indeed been a material change in circumstances for the son which allows you the option to apply for a motion to vary.

Perhaps a statement from the counsellor that your son is seeing would suffice enough to request a review of the access and the obvious lack on the father's part to exercise this access. The courts would want an explanation from the father as to why he requested a change and failed to exercise access as a result. You know dad will have a reason, but will the reason be adequate, that’s the question.
I do not think a court would change custody as there is no obvious reason for this, yet there does appear to be ample reason for a review of the circumstances that interfere with the father’s exercising access. If only he understood how lucky he is to have this ability to have access altered at his request, and how many fathers out there that would love to be afforded the same opportunities. Sorry I couldn’t offer a more definitive response, FL is difficult to predict at the best of times.
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