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blinkandimgone · #11 05-05-2022, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kidsRworthit

^ Agreed to a bit grey area...

Son is not getting paid to play.
He is playing :
a. with interest in securing a scholarship;
b. with interest in paid career (OP identified: in his dreams of playing in NHL.

Sidebar:
1. OP is team manager;
2. Step-father is team coach: played in Major Junior Hockey League (Quebec)

Is there a requirement that he must be enrolled at leat part time to qualify for the scholarship?

If this is the case, it would be a long term benefit for all parties to support the current situation. A full scholarship is nothing to scoff at!

kidsRworthit · #12 05-05-2022, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan

It will be table support. Son�t let the fcsg fool you. If you aren�t offset, it�s full table.

You could try to file to stop cs. Has kid applied to schools for the fall? What are his plans next year?

Wanting to play in NhL will be laughed out of court. Trying to get a scholarship would be considered. It�s May though, he would know his intentions for next year.

^ oh, ok: then it's either YES tchild/children/dependant qualifies for CS (offset or full table amount): or NO - child/children/dependant does not qualify for CS

To clarify: son has interest in playing Junior hockey, since this is natural progression path to being "scouted" for big leagues (paid career).

Secondary plan: if securing Junior hockey doesn't materialize (don't get a call-up &/or make their hockey camp), uncertain of his ambitions:
though believe he has interest in moving to wherever he may play at a competitive level (billet with hockey family in Canada or US) in order to play at a competitive hockey level.

Brief summary (from what my son mentioned/with my summary)
University hockey routinely routinely fills its roster from athletes who have played Junior hockey, for one to three years; then determine they are unable to realize "the next level" (Pro hockey).
Put another way: University is pursued as plan B, (secondarily); as they aren't able to progress further beyond Junior hockey.

His laser focus now being: to play competitive hockey by making a hockey camp this summer. No focus on school in the fall: or perhaps taking an online uni course or two.

Aside: sadly the NHL dream has been continuously promoted to him (despite clear and wise words to contrary by Justice(s) especially 2013-2014.
Unfortunately, parents don't always action court endorsements/orders (in the children's best interests): often if these court orders aren't aligned to their personal agenda(s)...

kidsRworthit · #13 05-05-2022, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blinkandimgone

Is there a requirement that he must be enrolled at leat part time to qualify for the scholarship?

If this is the case, it would be a long term benefit for all parties to support the current situation. A full scholarship is nothing to scoff at!

^ clarification: hockey scholarship is actually secondary. (no mention of it)
Greatly appreciate your point 👍 Uncertain if enrolment P/T in school is scholarship prequalification. Thanks, will research!

He is laser focused on playing for (any) competitive hockey team this fall (Canada/US), by making the hockey camp (tryouts) this summer.

Uni courses haven't been considered/discussed for the fall, plainly because that is secondary and not his focus.

Note: I've identified the importance of taking Uni courses in his area of interest, while also playing hockey = as building toward his future.
That way, if he doesn't realize where he wants to be; he's not starting from the beginning, and he can carry forward with his Uni studies and non-hockey player career path...

rockscan · #14 05-05-2022, 02:07 PM

Did your relationship with your kids ever improve after the court dates in 2018-2019? Hopefully it has.

Your case is a crapshoot. He is being coached (literally and figuratively) to believe he has talent and a chance. In reality VERY FEW kids end up in the big leagues. He should be focusing on a scholarship but it doesn�t sound like he is as his mom and step dad are encouraging this. Is it his dream or theirs?

If you want to self rep you could simply stop paying cs or file to stop cs as kid is over 18 and not in a meaningful program of study. If he hasn�t even applied to schools with a scholarship then its a no brainer this is not a child of the marriage.

blinkandimgone · #15 05-05-2022, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kidsRworthit

^ clarification: hockey scholarship is actually secondary. (no mention of it)
Greatly appreciate your point 👍 Uncertain if enrolment P/T in school is scholarship prequalification. Thanks, will research!

He is laser focused on playing for (any) competitive hockey team this fall (Canada/US), by making the hockey camp (tryouts) this summer.

Uni courses haven't been considered/discussed for the fall, plainly because that is secondary and not his focus.

Note: I've identified the importance of taking Uni courses in his area of interest, while also playing hockey = as building toward his future.
That way, if he doesn't realize where he wants to be; he's not starting from the beginning, and he can carry forward with his Uni studies and non-hockey player career path...

Post secondary is an important consideration for him whether he plays or not. Professional sports is a short career, so he should ideally have education to pursue a career after hockey. If he gets injured, he's suddenly out of a hockey career so this is an 'and' strategy rather than an 'or' strategy.

rockscan · #16 05-05-2022, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blinkandimgone

Post secondary is an important consideration for him whether he plays or not. Professional sports is a short career, so he should ideally have education to pursue a career after hockey. If he gets injured, he's suddenly out of a hockey career so this is an 'and' strategy rather than an 'or' strategy.

Yes but if his mother and step father are encouraging him and the history of alienation is still there, dad has little say. Even when it�s the right decision!

blinkandimgone · #17 05-05-2022, 03:40 PM

For sure, someone's got to be the practical parent!

kidsRworthit · #18 05-05-2022, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan

Did your relationship with your kids ever improve after the court dates in 2018-2019? Hopefully it has.

Your case is a crapshoot. He is being coached (literally and figuratively) to believe he has talent and a chance. In reality VERY FEW kids end up in the big leagues. He should be focusing on a scholarship but it doesn�t sound like he is as his mom and step dad are encouraging this. Is it his dream or theirs?

If you want to self rep you could simply stop paying cs or file to stop cs as kid is over 18 and not in a meaningful program of study. If he hasn�t even applied to schools with a scholarship then its a no brainer this is not a child of the marriage.

Yes, since 2018; relationship with kids has improved Thanks!
Post court (early 2016) dual court decisions/endorsement in my favour = set the stage for a (long) reunification process. (if you're interested: could PM you with a concise backstory, with ultimately a positive outlook/attitude and future disposition. (looking through the windshield, and not in the rear view mirror!

Spot on! (and most perceptive of you) He's being coached: literally/figuratively. Is it in the childrens'/dependents' best interests?
Dreams are important for kids to have and parents to encourage realizing

IMHO: Even more important for parents: is to be practical and encourage, guide and support their children to establish a career with a higher opportunity of being realized (one the child enjoys!)

Just how tough is it to reach the NHL? (ESPN article: 2007)
https://www.espn.com/nhl/news/story?page=campbell1113

Unsure if that's a rhetorical statement about who's dream...
I'm on side and have been encouraging the scholarship avenue as a means of attaining an education.

OP asked FRO to collect CS = garnish wage initiated in late 2019,
so FRO needs court order to stop (collection agency can't act unilaterally, unless both payor and recipient consent to do so...)

Contrary to wanting to utilize/steal scare $ resources (from parents/kids) to support the "divorce industry"; after utilizing two Family Law lawyers (both were quite good), I (sadly) watched my savings deteriorate and was mindful that in 5 years, I had little to show for it ...

I have been self-repping since late 2015: and greatly appreciate your engaging and insightful conversation and suggestions 👍

I indeed plan on actioning your suggestion:
file to stop cs as kid is over 18 and not in a meaningful program of study. If he hasn�t even applied to schools with a scholarship then its a no brainer this is not a child of the marriage.

BTW: I have advanced three Offers To Settle: though they've been rejected.
Onward and upwards!

Much appreciated rockscan!

kidsRworthit · #19 05-05-2022, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blinkandimgone

Post secondary is an important consideration for him whether he plays or not. Professional sports is a short career, so he should ideally have education to pursue a career after hockey. If he gets injured, he's suddenly out of a hockey career so this is an 'and' strategy rather than an 'or' strategy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan

Yes but if his mother and step father are encouraging him and the history of alienation is still there, dad has little say. Even when it�s the right decision!

^blinkandimgone: totally concur with you!

^rockscan: most perceptive and accurate again!
Parental Alienation is indeed an insidious issue.
All the most genuine and positive parenting initiatives of one parent (Target Parent) with a child, may be partially or wholly "undone"; when the child is in the presence of the OP (Source Parent) and is their behaviour is "adjusted" to be more aligned to the negative/toxic behaviour of that parent...
(Keep the kids out of the middle!)

As someone wise said to me: they'll figure it out when they grow a brain!

kidsRworthit · #20 05-06-2022, 07:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockscan

Did your relationship with your kids ever improve after the court dates in 2018-2019? Hopefully it has.

Your case is a crapshoot. He is being coached (literally and figuratively) to believe he has talent and a chance. In reality VERY FEW kids end up in the big leagues. He should be focusing on a scholarship but it doesn�t sound like he is as his mom and step dad are encouraging this. Is it his dream or theirs?

If you want to self rep you could simply stop paying cs or file to stop cs as kid is over 18 and not in a meaningful program of study. If he hasn�t even applied to schools with a scholarship then its a no brainer this is not a child of the marriage.

*Relevant Decision:
kid is over 18 and not in a meaningful program of study

[20] The respondent argues that the evidence indicates that Matthew and Aaron chose to enter the work force rather than meaningfully pursue post-secondary studies. As such, she argues, her child support obligations should have ended when each child turned 18 years of age.

[23] The respondent acknowledges that if the children do enroll in a full time educational program in the future, they may again qualify as “children of the marriage”, but argues that the affect of future attendance is an issue to be decided if and when either child actually commences such a program.

[45] An adult child cannot, however, indefinitely postpone the commencement of post-secondary education and expect to remain a dependant, entitled to parental financial support. In the absence of “illness or disability” or some other cause that makes him “unable” to attend school, he no longer qualifies as a “child of the marriage” within the meaning of s. 2(1) of the Divorce Act.

[46] While virtual learning may not be ideal, Matthew’s and Aaron’s decision not to enroll in any educational program for the 2020-2021 academic year was their choice. It was a choice that, as adults, they had every right to make, but it is not a choice that the respondent should be required to pay for.

* Edwards v. Edwards, 2021 ONSC 1550 (CanLII)

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