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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 11-11-2018, 10:53 AM
jjsticker jjsticker is offline
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Default 50 50 shares custody scenario

First post group.
I have a separation agreement signed for 50 % shared custody but not individually taken to a lawyer and signed.
We separated November 1 2017 and my ex moved out April 1 2018 .I recently received a letter stating I owe full table amount for child support.
I retained a lawyer actually my lawyer never took a penny from me for months she told me to document all my overnights for 3 months and come and see her which I did and in turn we served her with status quo on top of the seperation agreement that states 50 %.
I have been involved in my sons life from the day he was born .went to all doctors appointments and school appointments registered him in school started a resp since the day he was born all sporting activities I attendant take him I live in the school district and this has been his only home since birth on the bus route as well.we always shared responsibilities between our jobs raising him.
But since we served her with the status quo she has been imposing a new schedule of 6 days a month only for me .We have our case conference December 4th.
How likely am I to retain 50 % as I do have in our separation agreement and also established status quo.
The only thing against me is she has a 10 year old from a previous marriage and i read they like to keep siblings together other then that i seem to have all other areas pertaining to the childs best interest on my side .
Thanks sorry for the rambling post also.
All input appreciated .
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  #2  
Old 11-11-2018, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by jjsticker View Post
I have a separation agreement signed for 50 % shared custody but not individually taken to a lawyer and signed.
If she never signed the agreement then you do not have an agreement.

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document all my overnights for 3 months and come and see her which I did and in turn we served her with status quo on top of the seperation agreement that states 50 %.
That was a good plan.

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But since we served her with the status quo she has been imposing a new schedule of 6 days a month only for me.
This needs clarification. How is she "imposing" this on you? Why don't you just impose 6 days on her?

What did you lawyer say?

Have you complained bitterly in writing every single day that she deviates from the 50%? Did I mention that you should complain in writing? Yes, in writing, every day. Every single day.

Quote:
We have our case conference December 4th.
How likely am I to retain 50 % as I do have in our separation agreement and also established status quo.
When did the 6 day imposition start? Offhand, assuming not too long ago, I think you have a reasonable shot at getting your 50% back. You've documented a 3 month period where you had 50% where the kid presumably had no issues. You don't have an agreement, but at least you have some sort of statement of intent I guess.


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The only thing against me is she has a 10 year old from a previous marriage and i read they like to keep siblings together
How old is your kid?

They aren't siblings, they are half siblings. I think a father matters more than a half sibling. That is a concern though, which means you have to be very proactive. Be an awesome father, so that time with you is more important than time with half-sibling.

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Thanks sorry for the rambling post also.
That didn't ramble anything close to as much as you might think.
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  #3  
Old 11-11-2018, 11:38 AM
jjsticker jjsticker is offline
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Janus thanks for the response.
She did sign the agreement but was not taken to a lawyer to give proper financial disclosure was her lawyers wording to open it up.
My son 4yo just started jk in September.
She refuse to put a parenting plan out and dictates to me when I see my son her son from the previous marriage is 10 yo.
I have always provided a year round schedule of 5 . 5. 2. 2 as I work 2 weeks days and 2 week afternoons but she keeps the child from me and we had a couple cop calling incidents and the cops basically state they dont enforce agreements only court orders and who ever th child is with at the time they leave the child with.
Any other info needed let me know to help paint an accurate picture for you .
Thanks again.
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  #4  
Old 11-11-2018, 12:57 PM
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My son 4yo just started jk in September.
She refuse to put a parenting plan out and dictates to me when I see my son
Why can't you just pick up your son on your days? Or, alternatively, pay a babysitter to pick him up on your days if you are at work.

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she keeps the child from me
Sounds like you don't do much to stop it. In family law, that is often considered to be an acknowledgement that the mom is right, and next thing you know you've lost your kid.

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cops basically state they dont enforce agreements only court orders and who ever th child is with at the time they leave the child with.
Now you know. Pick up the kid, and nobody is going to do anything about it.

Why are you not picking up the kid during your parenting time? Why are you letting the mother get away with it?
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Old 11-11-2018, 01:40 PM
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Yes I pick up my son after school every dayshift or have him take the bus where I pick him up every day shifts the bus stop is 2 houses away and have him for average 3 hours after work.
And on afternoons shifts I still pick my son up at 8am have breakfast with him and walk to the bus stop with him also and write in his agenda 50 percent of the time.
On the weekends get him dressed for both his hockey practices Saturday and Sunday it's just since school started in September my overnights diminished to about 6 to 8 days over the past couple months.
I can only assume it is to get full table amount and keep me from applying for CCB since we would be in a shared parenting/custody arrangement and her portion would be cut in half.
Thanks again Janus
Appreciate your feedback
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  #6  
Old 11-11-2018, 03:05 PM
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Yes I pick up my son after school every dayshift or have him take the bus where I pick him up every day shifts the bus stop is 2 houses away and have him for average 3 hours after work.
And what happens after those 3 hours? Mother shows up and you just hand kid over? Why?

Quote:
On the weekends get him dressed for both his hockey practices Saturday and Sunday it's just since school started in September my overnights diminished to about 6 to 8 days over the past couple months.
Well, I don't see why you have to wait until December 4th. From this day forward, tell mother that kid is sleeping with you overnight. If she disagrees, it can be discussed on December 4th with the judge.

If mother shows up, don't answer the door. Even better, go hang out at a friend's place at the time mother usually shows up. Even better, go sleep at a friend or family's place.

Minor warning: If you do this, it is important that you never physically touch the mother, even if she barges into your house to grab the kid. If she does that, call the police immediately. Also, if she does that, never open the door for her again. Preferably talk to her through a chained door, or not at all.

This woman is trying to take your kid away from you. This is not fun and games. This is serious. She is the worst enemy you are ever going to face in your entire life, and you need to wake up and start treating her as such. Politely.

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I can only assume it is to get full table amount and keep me from applying for CCB since we would be in a shared parenting/custody arrangement and her portion would be cut in half.
That's not exactly a big revelation. Of course that is the reason, and you are letting her get away with it. Your lawyer is as well, I'm surprised.

That said, you should probably be paying her offset support if you have not yet started. If you don't know her income, request her income so you can start paying her proper offset support.

Nothing will happen on December 4th. This current "no kid" status quo will continue for another 6 months at least unless you act to change it. Judges rarely make substantive orders during case conferences.
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Old 11-11-2018, 03:27 PM
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I've been acting as instructed by my lawyer she stated what shes doing now is not in the best interest of the child and any status quo she is trying to secure is looked as false in a judges eyes as it is all done after we lawyered up and my status quo is true all done before i formally retained her and looks better.

I have been paying the offset amount since before I lawyered up.
I thought at a case conference we could motion for stays quo since we served her in September 12.
I'm starting to second guess her strategy now cause I was all for keeping my sons 50 percent of the time .
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  #8  
Old 11-12-2018, 01:41 PM
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Im hoping that someone else will chime in here. Ive stated my opinion, grab shared custody. Id like to hear what others have to say

Yes, after the CC you can motion... but what is your argument? Kid is doing fine, why should the judge risk changing things on an interim basis?
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Old 11-12-2018, 01:58 PM
jjsticker jjsticker is offline
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Yes feel free to chime in all input appreciated.
And thanks again for your reply.

By time of case conference she still would not have established her false status quo as I'm to beleive it has to be 3 months minimum for a judge to look at it and everything is documented as to her with holding the child and not following mine or any parenting plan.
My lawyer basically said a judge would see right through her and wants me to stay "sparkling" and minimize the cop calling as it's not in the best interest of the child.
We have had 3 cop calling incidents documented where I show them the separation agreement and say they cant enforce it they only enforce court orders and basically who ever the child is with is who he will stay with they dont engage in tug of war with the child.

Fingers crossed never knew how much of a up hill battle it is for us males till now being this situation.
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Old 11-12-2018, 06:15 PM
PeacefulMoments PeacefulMoments is offline
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Judge in my Ds case decided on a temporary basis that her ex had status quo based on approximately 5 weeks of him withholding. Dont think it cant happen to you too.

Ex was given temporary majority time and it took several months to correct the situation. Being female didnt mean a thing and it was a false and very short status quo. You cannot predict what a judge might do.
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