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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #51  
Old 08-25-2011, 11:43 AM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
Can someone please reassure me that when I'm finally done and have a custody arrangement that life won't be this petty and insane?

If I have to start referencing CanLii cases for precedence to determine the potential legal outcome of who should provide a pair of $15 Old Navy jeans for weekend visits, I swear I'm gonna lose my marbles.

Is this really the nonsense I've got to look forward to?

I need a hug.
Well, that would be entirely up to you.

Petty stuff aside, realise that having a court order in place doesn't mean that the other party has to abide by it, or that there is much you can do about it if they don't (other than violations of access time, or not paying CS - everything else is unenforcable unless gross harm is being caused).
  #52  
Old 08-25-2011, 11:52 AM
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Originally Posted by CSAngel View Post
I don't get why you guys think this - she's already stated that she's tried sending stuff. The problem is that she doesn't ever get anything back so her own inventory is getting depleted while his is filling up. It's simple math.

My ex does the same thing - we have 50/50 custody but I rarely get back the clothes I send there - where as I always make an effort to send his back. Last year I had to buy school clothes 3 times because I kept running out! It's very frustrating.
That is not true - she believes that the kids should be in clothing that the father directly buys when they are at their fathers house.

She does not get the clothes back that they showed up in when visiting their father, the NCP.

2 problems perhaps, but my comment was related to her continued denial that the CP parent is supposed to buy the clothes.

Sorry about your problems CSAngel - I have 50/50 with 3 kids and it is not a problem with us. Both of us consider the clothes to be owned by the kids, it travels freely between the houses, and we both do clothes shopping. This is not a problem because both of us are casual about it, as we should be. Its really unfortunate how people make things complicated that should not be. Good luck to you, perhaps it will improve over time.
  #53  
Old 08-25-2011, 12:32 PM
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Originally Posted by MommaMouse View Post

I still don't see where it states the assumption you are reffering to. It does state that each parent should contribute equally. But no where does it state that the CP should pay for everything. Am I missing this paragraph?
You're missing the part where he pays child support and THAT is his contribution, YOU are expected to contribute equally. Because you recieve full table child support, assume that you are the `holder`of all the money (yours and his) for the children and it's up to you to provide for them with it. His contribution for daily items ie: clothing, food, toys etc gets paid to you in the form of child support, YOU then provide those items from a combined pot of the CS money and YOUR money as well.
  #54  
Old 08-25-2011, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSAngel View Post
I don't get why you guys think this - she's already stated that she's tried sending stuff. The problem is that she doesn't ever get anything back so her own inventory is getting depleted while his is filling up. It's simple math.

My ex does the same thing - we have 50/50 custody but I rarely get back the clothes I send there - where as I always make an effort to send his back. Last year I had to buy school clothes 3 times because I kept running out! It's very frustrating.
Thank you I have said I sent clothes to his house. BAGS full of clothes for the weekend that DONT get returned. I am more trying to find out IF there is legislation or IF it is ambiguos.

blinkandimgone - as you said if I am responsible for everything, I should be supplying the neccesities ie: clothing, food, toys etc for the weekend. and if it's a matter of sending these items there and then recieving them back I wouldn't have a problem, the problem occurs when they don't come back.

Just out of curiosity do NCP view visitation as no different than going to a sleepover or going to Grandmas? (there have been a number of comments to that effect) Don't NCP want their house to be as much of a Home as the CP. I would hope my kids would look at the two homes equally.
  #55  
Old 08-26-2011, 09:06 AM
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Originally Posted by MommaMouse View Post
Thank you I have said I sent clothes to his house. BAGS full of clothes for the weekend that DONT get returned. I am more trying to find out IF there is legislation or IF it is ambiguos.

blinkandimgone - as you said if I am responsible for everything, I should be supplying the neccesities ie: clothing, food, toys etc for the weekend. and if it's a matter of sending these items there and then recieving them back I wouldn't have a problem, the problem occurs when they don't come back.

Just out of curiosity do NCP view visitation as no different than going to a sleepover or going to Grandmas? (there have been a number of comments to that effect) Don't NCP want their house to be as much of a Home as the CP. I would hope my kids would look at the two homes equally.
After lawyers fees and support payments, there isn't a lot of money to go around.
While the CP stayed in the house full of furniture, I had to furnish a 2 bedroom basement appartment I rented. I had barely enough for a bunk bed for the kids. I slept on an air mattress for a year. When they were with me, they were dirt poor, when with the NCP, they lived in a beautiful house in the suburbs and maintained the same lifestyle they always did.
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