Motion for Change of CS only???

[Magpie]

I have custody. He lost in court -- big hole in his foot now, yes.

Everything i have said on this forum was in the newspaper or is very public knowledge, nothing i have crafted to harm him -- court proceedings for his charges are public.

[walshch]

Magpie, to answer your question about Motions, yes you would hear about it. You would have to be served a copy and be given a chance to respond (by Affidavit). The Ex could be successful in getting an Order, but that Order has to go to a Confirmation Hearing to be enforceable. I'm going through the process presently and have a 3rd (and hopefully last) Confirmation Hearing on Nov 18.

[Magpie]

Thank you Walshch. That is exactly what my question was and now it is answered.

I can wait now to hear what he presents and with reminders and support from some folks on this forum, i hear the "just suck it up buttercup, cut your losses and go kiss your kid". I really do like that mentality because what i have learned well (despite being pulled into ego battles from time to time) is that when i let go of the BS, it makes room for great things to come forward.

I also think there is a balance... if a parent claims they have no money and motions for a change in the judgment to pay 80% less of what they have been paying because they lost their job whilst (hypothetically) shopping for a Porshe or (hypothetically) travelling to the seven seas then part of me is
1. sad
2. angry
3. aware of the other party's priorities and then see #1

For the record, in response to Littleman saying that the "other BS has no place on the forum", i have had private message emails from other women in similar situations who are interested in how and what i went through wrt to the children when there was a child porn charge. My understanding is that when there is a child porn charge for a professional figure, it is well founded (8 month investigation) and is not publicized lightly. That aside, it is true that we are innocent until proven guilty and my guess is he will remain innocent. I believe that this forum, perhaps not the FINANCIAL ISSUES category, IS a place for people to ask sensitive and painful questions about difficult issues.
Isn't that part of what we do here?

I also hear that LIttleman has a point with not posting hearsay -- there are facts, of course, but there is what one "hears" about and then speculates or even twists a little isn't fair or good. This, perhaps is what has no place in the forum. Got it. Truth is, i know that this whole process has been painful for the other side in lots of different ways than it has been for me. indeed -- got it.

[cashcow4ex]

LOL,

If you google any of the details that MagPie has shared it brings you right to her thread in divorceforum..Important to note that you should never share too many details.

http://www.google.ca/search?q=quebec+teacher+caught+with+child+porn+201 1&source=ig&hl=en&rlz=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=1328l11844l0 l12079l37l34l0l23l23l0l360l2265l0.6.3.2l11l0&oq=qu ebec+teacher+caught+with+child+porn+2011&aq=f&aqi= &aql=1

[Magpie]

I don't understand why this matters?

Is this what the forum does? I am confused. What's the point.

Clearly a trusting neophyte forum user -- good thing i changed the province names to protect my/our identity

[cashcow4ex]

My point is exactly what I said. We should always be mindful of the finer details we share. I wouldnt want my ex get her hands on all my posts in this forum.

[Magpie]

Truth is, this is my first time ever being on an internet forum (how obvious is that?) and i did it so that i could stop the insanity of legal bills. It was recommended to me by a lawyer friend so that i could ask the questions and know how to move forward.

Besides the fact that i didn't expect my posts to be on google ( or i would have written better with the hopes of getting a book publishing contract on my story!!) i don't feel worried. He knows his story, i know his story. I just don't usually talk about it and didn't think i needed to care about little details which i didn't think were important or relevant.

I live my life away from all this crap for the most part and i used the forum as a place to put a lot of my frustration and questions and line up the story with details that made sense to me. Good folks on this forum told me what mattered and what didn't and i still have gotten great information.

I don't like the feeling like you or others have some big victory under their belt by thinking you busted me (even though you didn't) ... what's the use of that?

I naively (guess i am the dumbass now) thought that we all have a story and it is what it is. Instead there seems to be a covert, sadly predictable predatory feeling here on the Forum (with folks waiting to pounce) with a foundation that women hate men and men hate women and all people hate their exes. And that just isn't true.

Truth is, I believe in facts and forgiveness. Sometimes i talk via mainstream avenues to make a point or embellish to collapse the details of a story for time and words' sake, but otherwise, what i have written here is the way it is (besides my broadbrush statement "sleeping with students" comment which should say sleeping with an x-student).

I hope we can find our way as a species men and women together. I am not one of the people in the world who "hates" the Ex-- it is a sad commentary on the extend to which we choose to use our capacity. I actually feel sad for his plight and have done back flips to work together on this process of separation and divorce. I do. ANd i have always thought that collaboration and communication and mediation etc. was our best avenue. But that takes two people.

I feel sadder that everything has to be a fight. Even postings on a forum is seen through the lens of right and wrong and good and bad. Life doesn't have to be like that. Neither does separation and divorce.

Clearly, this is not the place for me. Or maybe it is the perfect place for me.

[allay]

No crystal ball but experience is..

But my experience says there is a good chance the judge will not allow him to vary the order based on his downfall was of his making. The courts don't care what the payor can afford or not. The downside is simple as he falls further behind in payments the harder it will be for him to get back on track. A ventrally he will become a conic deadbeat dad. That said it sounds like you might be better off without him anyway.
Bottom line is a judge is not going to grant any motion in this situation without hearing from you.
If I was him and I have been there (caught in a major downsize) he might end up handing over all his assets until he can prove he can keep the original payments. Real variances on payments do not exist. To obtain one cost more than the relief one receives. He'll also find if anyone shields him the judge may go after them as well. I speak of my experience in Ontario and Nova Scotia.
You should do one thing ok 2 go to court when you have to aka when he serves you and yes he can go to court without serving you but he has to have a very good reason that a judge accepts.
So as long as you haven't threatened to shot him on sight there is no reason. But it is a total waste of time other than racking up his legal bill.
2 feed him to FRO when they are done he will be like lean ground meat boardering on becoming a criminal waiting for his turn in jail on a full 90 day rotation. He will have to work around Rev Can, work around no car lic and no passport which in time means no ability to have a bank account or credit. Like I said he can hide behind someone but the courts can force them to pay. If he has a pension when it starts paying out FRO will take 50% of it until he catches up.
Walk away let FRO (free) Do all the work for you
There is no need to talk to him what so ever the person you should avoid is most layers there is very little they can do for you, you can't do yourself. They will lead you on just to jack your bill up.
Think of him as a plane falling out of the sky be grateful you and your child where able to get off before his last flight.
If he ends up tarred and feather suicide might be high on his list, stay away from him. Just in case he wants company.
Last ask yourself why you allowed him back in the house after he left you for an 18 old????
If your child is a girl and he has no or little bond with her, he might target her for his next girlfriend.
You need a wake up call this guy is sick very sick run don't walk
Your working on a phd maybe your too focused on it and need to look up once in a while to see what going on around you.
This is no comment on you personally. You sound like you too trusting, too much of a decent person and bc you think in a logical way you think others do too. They don’t there are some bad messed up people out there and they don’t wear signs or warn you. You want to understand this, there is nothing to understand...bad people do bad things...good people do good things... People are not always a + b = c

I know an amazing person and mother would lost sight of her world around her while working on a PhD. She lost custody of her twin boys bc of lack of time in the evenings to do home work which her physically abusive ex successfully used in court to gain soul custody. She has been trying to get them back for the past 3 years to no avail. Her ex totally turned the tables on her. This is a guy who use to drag her around by the hair in front of the kids but he did take an anger management course before getting soul custody. I seen him in town just yesterday and one of the boys is sporting 2 black eyes, I'm not saying he did it but I also didn't ask the boy either. The motehr has them a few times a week and evey other week end so she would know.

All you need to do is take care of yourself and your child and you don’t have to be the best just try and you will be fine. The money you get from him will dry up but that is how it works in a case like yours.

If you listen carefully lawyers can’t tell you for sure anything so form layers can’t either. Experience can he’s done stick a fork in him and in a short while so his money.