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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 05-12-2022, 04:10 PM
Anotherday Anotherday is offline
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Default Should I be concerned ?

Briefly:

1. The father of the child claims he lives 100 KM away from the child's primary residence, hence, cannot take the child to his home
2. Brought a motion against me accusing not giving him a child and that I am terrible mother that wanted to force him to drive over 100km the child for 1 hr visitation. (Never happened and I will demand to provide that proof)
3. Began to exercise his visitation time with child just to look good in front of judge.
4. I have always felt that he followed me. Police wouldn't believe me. Even though it happened on 2 occasions when I cought my ex and they knew about that.
5. Today I found out accidentally that he lives and has always lived since the day of separation just 5 minutes away from my home. He hides that information and insists he lives too far

Question: I am scared that he lives way too close, because I know he is not stable in his head? When I provide the proof to the judge and I say how genuinely I am scarred of him, which I am. What are the chances for me to get a protection from court?

Backstory: I believed him that he lived over 100 KM. But when he began his visitation time, he did not drive. Acted super strangely and acted like if he wanted to see if someone follows him. Hard to describe what was seen what led me to believe, he hides something he does not want me to find out.

This is how I ended up hiring a private investigator. Because if he leaves with child tomorrow, I need to know that the child is safe.
Private investigator told me my ex uses a friend's car and his insurance and has nothing under his name. So tomorrow when he again disappears and continue not paying a child support, he won't be found. Or, if he takes the child and he lies about his address information and I have no car Information (it would not be so important if he would not hide about his address and was honest), where am I gonna look for a child if he is not back?
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Old 05-12-2022, 05:25 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Whoa you have a lot of things to unpack here.

First, do you have a custody agreement or anything in writing? Do you have an agreement in writing for child support?

If no, you need to get on that immediately.

Two, he filed a motion, what happened with that? Did he provide an address for that filing?

Really, lying about his address makes him lose credibility. Driving without a license and insurance is illegal.

You should be filing to set out terms and have the support terms registered. Then he will have to provide an address and other financial details like his social insurance number. You can also request supervised access as he has been lying about his address and you are concerned he is a flight risk.
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Old 05-12-2022, 06:16 PM
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Has the motion taken place already?
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Old 05-12-2022, 07:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Whoa you have a lot of things to unpack here.

First, do you have a custody agreement or anything in writing? Do you have an agreement in writing for child support?

If no, you need to get on that immediately.

Two, he filed a motion, what happened with that? Did he provide an address for that filing?

Really, lying about his address makes him lose credibility. Driving without a license and insurance is illegal.

You should be filing to set out terms and have the support terms registered. Then he will have to provide an address and other financial details like his social insurance number. You can also request supervised access as he has been lying about his address and you are concerned he is a flight risk.
1. I have a sole custody.
If any major decision to be made, I need to inform the father. In case of disagreement, I will make the final decision. But I am going to ask the Judge to change this, because I have enough proof to show the the judge there is no communication on his end, sadly, will never be.

2. Access rights, means, supervised or unsupervised, will yet to get decided. However, I have given him the schedule he literally does not follow. Provides notification last minute that he will come or not.

3. In his motion, he put his false address. And claims, it is hard for him to drive that far. He is poor and has no place for child.

4. I asked for supervised visitation - he refused. The env is where the child lives. The father won't take her far from the doorstep of her home any way.

5. In his motion, he has accused of me of restricting him for bot seeing the child. Pretty, either if it was based on my schedule or no other time will be provided. It is all lie. In fact, he was the one showing up at 9 PM demanding to see the child, when the 2 years old child was asleep. At some point, when I realized the game he played to discredit me, I had to give the child when she should have been asleep by then. Because I knew, he was wanting an opportunity for me to say no. Anyway, in that motion he projected on everything he does on me, as if I was the one doing everything he actually was doing. Almost like, we have switched our places. It is so false, I cried after being served. Not because of the motion being brought against me, but because of the lies. Buy he is like that.

6. In that motion, he asks to spend with child every Saturday from 12 to 3 PM and will ask for the time to be increased if everything goes well.

7. He said, I am so bad that I am giving him an hour of visitation and asking for an increase of time, even though, the time was time by the judge, so the child, after 9 months not seeing the father can slowly adjust. In fact, the day before I was served, I have sent out an email with the 2 hrs of visitation and said, during another time, you will be having 3 hrs and more. So I don't understand that claim in his motion I I am already increasing the time for him.

8. He asks for unsupervised visitation claiming it is not healthy for the child. The child is in not at the supervised center. She is near home and being watched by the lady she knows well.

9. He claimed in his motion, I bring toys each time to play with child. I swear to God, he came with an empty hands each time and the lady who supervises the visits will write the same.

10. He says in his motion, he wants to take the child somewhere in his car, but he walks to our home for 10 minutes.

11. Investigator provided the following: before and after coming to the visitation, the father acts suspicious. He covers his head and hides his face, strangely looks around to see if anybody follows him. He finds the spot from where he can see the surrounding. Continues hiding his face and puts his head down
He acts like he us afraid to be caught. Looks knowledgeablewhen it comes to spotting the tail. Then, someone picks him up and drives him to the place where he parked the car. Before leaving the car, he again looks around. The private investigatorsays, he would not trust that man to be with child alone as he acts like a criminal.
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Old 05-12-2022, 08:04 PM
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Not yet. Will take place in June.
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Old 05-12-2022, 08:14 PM
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He can say whatever he wants in his motion the key is his proof. If he has no proof, his claims are baseless. I wouldnt get too hung up on his false accusations.
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Old 05-12-2022, 09:59 PM
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He just texted to inform he will not be exercising his visitation this Saturday yet brings the motion against me to increase the time with child to see her every Saturday. Very strange person.
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Old 05-13-2022, 08:01 AM
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Document everything!
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Old 05-13-2022, 10:00 AM
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Quote:
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Document everything!
Thank you. I am documenting everything. I have offered Sunday visitation instead, same time. Even though I did not have to.

Most likely he won't be coming.
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Old 05-13-2022, 11:02 AM
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Request proof of living address. This could be in the form of a rental or lease agreement, utility bill, address listed for driver's license/insurance (which would provide proof of validity to drive and transport the child) etc.
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