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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 12-10-2021, 10:35 AM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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Default seeking increased or sole decision

How does sole decision making work?

Can one parent keep the other in the dark about the goings on.
What is a more reasonable way to leave decision making with one parent but allowing the other to participate.

can I have examples of wording?
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Old 12-10-2021, 11:18 AM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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It is rare that the other parent is kept in dark. Even sole custody orders still have a clause that Parent A will make decisions on X and consult with Parent B in advance/notify them of what is going on, etc.
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Old 12-10-2021, 02:21 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brampton33 View Post
It is rare that the other parent is kept in dark. Even sole custody orders still have a clause that Parent A will make decisions on X and consult with Parent B in advance/notify them of what is going on, etc.
Yes. Want examples of what to ask for.
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Old 12-11-2021, 02:46 PM
helenj helenj is offline
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Before making any final decision in their area of decision-making each party shall inform the other of their intended decision. They shall consult with one another in regards to any and all major decisions and shall seek the other's input over the areas in which they have authority. It is only after this consultation process that the party shall be able to make a decision and, upon doing so shall immediately inform the other party of the decision that he or she has made. Neither party shall be entitled to make a major decision in their area of decision-making power without first giving the other party 30 days prior written notice.

Each party shall be entitled to receive copies of all medical, dental, school and other reports related to the Children and shall be entitled to consult with the Children's teachers, caregivers, physicians, dentists, and other health care providers concerning the general well-being of the Children. Each party shall be listed on all documents pertaining to the Children and shall be entitled to attend any of the Children's scheduled appointments. Both parties are to execute consents or authorizations to all persons, including teachers, doctors, dentists and others involved with the Children to speak fully and openly with both parties.

Subject to the provisions of the foregoing paragraphs, each party shall be responsible for making day-to-day decisions for routine emergency medical care while the Children are in his/her care, and shall keep the other party fully informed, by e-mail, of any minor illnesses, emergencies, treatments, medications administered or prescribed while the Children is in his/her care.

The Applicant and the Respondent shall advise each other of all important events, functions, or appointments for the Children in a timely manner, and with the exception of family or other social events, both parties shall be entitled to participate in these events, functions or appointments, subject to the recommendations of any third party professionals involved in same.

The parties shall provide each other with the names of and contact information for any professionals involved with the Children within five days of the professionals becoming involved.

The parties shall communicate about the Children through Email/Our Family Wizard. The Children shall not have access to the email/app. Each party will respond promptly. The parties shall exchange information regarding the Children's care, developmental milestones, food likes and dislikes, scheduled activities and appointments, medical and otherwise, and any requests for changes in the parenting schedule. Messages shall be brief, respectful, related solely to the Children, with no reference to either of the parties or their activities. Absent an emergency, the parties shall not communicate with each other more than once per day.

The parties shall share all documents pertaining to the Children through Email/Our Family Wizard. The parents shall not rely on the Children to transport documents between them.

Any discussions between the parties at transition times, activities or other special events where the Children are present or nearby shall be limited to brief and cordial interchanges. If one party considers that the discussion is not courteous, both shall discontinue the conversation and shall take up the issue later by email.

If one party finds what one (or both) of the Children have said about the other party to be of significant concern, that party shall first ask the other party what actually happened. If a complaint is made by one (or both) of the Children to one party about the other, the child shall be encouraged to talk directly to the party he or she is complaining about.
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Old 12-11-2021, 03:43 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Wow that is really wordy especially for something that is unenforceable.

Even if you have full custody involved, there SHOULD be a clause outlining that the parents will consult on major medical, educational and religious decisions. It doesnt always work that way and it cant be enforced.

When it comes to activities though, if they want to split the cost, they have to get written permission first.
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Old 12-12-2021, 05:43 PM
pinkHouses pinkHouses is offline
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Thank you helenJ and rockscan.
It was a good read and I can condense it down to something as short as rockscans summary.
I am glad consult/inform is the normal way to do things. Being completely cutout of your kids life sounds very unfair, we get only one life.
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Old 12-13-2021, 09:35 AM
Brampton33 Brampton33 is offline
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Although not enforceable, I would put a statement in the clause that consultation shall take place atleast X days before a decision is to be made.

Otherwise, be prepared to get a text message while at the hospital, or on the 1st day of school notifying you that your kids are now at a new school- and your claiming that she fulfilled her obligation to "consult you".

That way you can build a paper trail of instances that you ex unilaterally forged ahead with little regard to update you or consult with you.
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