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  • #16
    As a person that went through mediation about a month ago with a high conflict personality, EVEN if you come to some agreements it could be also nullified by her lawyer and go straight to trial.

    At the end of the day and if your ex has the same type of personality as my lovely ex, then compromise to her means she gets 100% what she wants.

    It sounds like her lawyer is enabling her bad behavior.

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    • #17
      Mediated Settlement

      Update:

      Ex and I attended mediation today and were able to agree on final terms of settlement for custody, access and child support of S2. We spent 3 straight hours in a room with legal aid mediator at the courthouse.

      Without her lawyer or mother in the room, ex finally spoke up for herself and our son, asked intelligent questions of the mediator and made her own decisions. Ex said several times during negotiations that she does not want to go through the stress and dirt slinging of a trial (I hope she means it).

      We settled on joint custody, joint decision making, primary residence with mom until S2 starts school and table child support. My parenting time stays the same for now at approx. 25% until S2 starts school in 2017 when it changes to 50/50 shared and offset CS.

      Neither of us can move out of the area we live in without consent or court order and travel outside of Ontario requires written consent from the other parent.

      Surprisingly ex even agreed to change S2's surname to include mine and update his birth certificate to include father's info. I had planned to leave that issue alone until custody was decided but mediator brought it up and ex came around to the idea.

      I understand that the terms we agreed to today won't be binding until they are turned into a final order by the judge at our TMC next month but it's a great start.

      For now I feel like a ton of bricks has been taken off my back and hopefully things will continue to move in the right direction.

      Thx for all the support and helpful comments to date!

      YD23

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      • #18
        Just goes to show how much unreasonableness is caused by the person being egged on by third parties like relatives or their lawyer.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by Rioe View Post
          Just goes to show how much unreasonableness is caused by the person being egged on by third parties like relatives or their lawyer.
          Exactly Rioe!!

          The mediator did a really good job today cutting through all the BS other people have been feeding ex over the last two years and even told her that her LAO lawyer didn't do a very good job of representing her.

          Over the course of the three hours, we managed to cover a lot of ground about what has gone on and what each of us wants for S2 as he grows up.

          We realized that we are on the same page regarding religion and education including that S2 will be attending JK in 2017.

          Had ex not had a lawyer we could have taken the agreement to duty counsel and signed off on it today . I really hope that her lawyer and her mother don't make any headway in twisting her mind back to the dark side.

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          • #20
            That's fantastic news. Congratulations!

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            • #21
              You should have asked for 39% custody right now. 2 weekends out of 3, Thursday - Monday. She will still get full support but if she ever changes her idea a judge will say he already get 39%.?

              Make the language very good.

              Such as:.
              Mother agrees x is a a good fsther, has good parental skills etc...

              Both agrees it is in best interest of child to be raised in this area

              Etc...

              There is nothing stopping her from filing a motion to change just before Jk saying that kid is freaking out etc..

              However if she makes these declarations now it cuts her off at the knees.
              Last edited by Links17; 10-02-2015, 11:52 AM.

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