Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Parental alienation

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Parental alienation

    I have sole custody of my children for about 2 years. the father was an alcoholic and did not want to have the children. i ended up with sole custody. he sees them whenever he is sober which quite rare.

    now, he claims he is completely sober and he wants to contest the sole custody. he threatens to use the parental alienation excuse to take the children away from me. he still does not realize that the children refuse to go se him because of his addiction.

    how should I approach this new issue after 20 months of being the custodial parent?

    he refuses to listen to me or to the children. he hired a lawyer and wants to go to court.

    what should i do, apart from hiring a lawyer myself?

  • #2
    IMO ... I'd continue with the status-quo until he actually, truly DOES something. People with additions have a tendencies to speak big but rarely follow through.

    WHEN and IF you get paperwork regarding a court proceeding, THAN and only then would I "act".

    Comment


    • #3
      i know he hired a lawyer, i believe i will receive the documents this week. i don't even know what to do. i am short of money and the initial agreement was discussed and i just have a piece of paper stating he is giving soel custody of the children, signed by him. it's not an actual court order. that's why i am worried.

      we are not even divorced yet. we separated with the promise from him to seek help. i don't want to stay with him anymore. i want to move on with my life. i thought since we were separated for about 2 years, he knew that a divorce was inevitable.

      he says i am turning the children against him and he will ask for sole custody to protect them from me.please advise.

      Comment


      • #4
        Many people are alcoholics and raise children as do people with other addictions.

        Has your ex been in rehab? Does he have a sponsor and is he attending meetings regularly? Have you received any personal counselling? How old are the children?

        Friend of mine is married to a highly successful individual who is an alcoholic. The whole family went through counselling and her husband has spent much time in rehab "down south." Without the counselling she and the children would have never known about co-dependency and the children would have never developed a relationship with their father. Fast forward 20 yrs and the now-adult children have a very strong relationship with their father. The father takes things 'one day at a time' and has indeed relapsed several times but, with the support of close friends and his sponsor, he gets back on his feet and carries on.

        Your situation must be very difficult. Addiction does indeed destroy families. Your children nevertheless have a right to have a relationship with their father.

        I would strongly recommend you get advice from professionals as well as people who have been in your situation.

        Comment


        • #5
          i did give him multiple chances but he always go back to his habits. i don't think he should be in the life of the children as a custodial parent but i agree he should have some time with them. i don't want my children to end up alcoholics.

          Comment


          • #6
            I don't think anyone is going to take your children away from you - unless you yourself have untreated mental illness.

            How old are your children?

            Comment


            • #7
              what do you mean i have an untreated mental illness? i am here for advice not to be judged.
              please anybody serious who could answer my question. is the document signed by my husband giving sole custody is valid in court or not?

              Comment


              • #8
                Short answer No not really because neither of you had independent legal advice. You don't seem to have a valid separation agreement nor court order. He can easily claim he didn't understand what he was signing.

                Comment


                • #9
                  why do I get the feeling this poster is a "regular"?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    but it was co-signed by a witness. he was not in the life of the children which many people can testify. how about his threats of using parental alienation to prove that i kept them from him that's why he was not involved not because he was an alcoholic and irresponsible.

                    can he take them from school without my consent? i don't know much about the law.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      same pattern ... won't answer simple questions ...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        what is OCL? are they social services investigating children? how can we get them? through court? that's my understanding from OCL thread. Is it appropriate in my case? please help, i am desperate.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Okay Luba. The gig is up now.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by blindside View Post
                            we are not even divorced yet. we separated with the promise from him to seek help. i don't want to stay with him anymore. i want to move on with my life. i thought since we were separated for about 2 years, he knew that a divorce was inevitable.
                            You lied to him. No, he did not know that a divorce was inevitable.

                            If I was his lawyer, I would make my argument simple: You said it was a separation but really you just wanted to push him away. He went and got help. Now you changed your mind. I hope his lawyer reads this forum.

                            Who was blind sided?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              anybody please can answer my questions. i have to prepare myself in case things have to change. i am not familiar with the law.

                              Comment

                              Our Divorce Forums
                              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                              Working...
                              X