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Settlement Reached - Thanks Everyone!

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  • Settlement Reached - Thanks Everyone!

    After close to 2 years of litigation it is all over and in a final order signed by a judge.

    We had a 4 hour settlement conference last week and the judge was awesome. The judge wouldn't leave for the weekend until it was settled. The judge was very fair and I think my ex and I both walked away feeling relieved and satisfied.

    The custody remains joint, access remains 50/50, child support offset, and spousal was waived in exchange for me taking on remaining debt from the marriage (this ensures it gets paid). Overall, I am very happy.

    I know its a stretch but since the settlement my ex has been a lot easier to deal with and I hope its a sign of things to come even though its only been a few days.

    There was the temptation to throw in her face the fact that this settlement isn't nearly as good as the one I offered out of court almost 2 years ago. In the end, that gets no one anywhere and really, I'm glad I said nothing. Its going to be hard to get past everything that my ex has done and said, but the only option is to move forward. I'm really glad I didn't say anything negative to her when we left court.

    I can't name everyone, but my sincere thanks to anyone on the forum who has replied to my posts and passed along any information they have. Your support, criticisms and reality checks were very valuable and I learned a lot from this forum. My lawyer was surprised that I knew some of things that I shared with him.

    I'll still be around but I just wanted to share my thanks with all of you. I slept like a baby each night this weekend!!!

  • #2
    Congratulations, that is fantastic news!!!

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    • #3
      congrats, i hope that day comes soon for me too, 7 months in hell so far

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      • #4
        Happy for you.....but this could be only round one over...keep a calender and document everything, your a parent but a court ordered one which ain't exactly a normal parent, and women tend to ignore court orders if they don't like them(and get away with it) keep your guard up at all times till the kids are 18 years old.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by theborg View Post
          Happy for you.....but this could be only round one over...keep a calender and document everything, your a parent but a court ordered one which ain't exactly a normal parent, and women tend to ignore court orders if they don't like them(and get away with it) keep your guard up at all times till the kids are 18 years old.
          Really?!?! Given the grief the guy has been through, a simple Congrats is enough.... get over your biased issues and do us all a favour!! Ex-wives are not all the same!!! Get used to it - some of us can actually communicate and work together really well!!!


          Teddie - Congratulations!! I'm really happy to hear that this went so well!! ((hugs))

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          • #6
            Originally posted by cbarker78 View Post
            Really?!?! Given the grief the guy has been through, a simple Congrats is enough.... get over your biased issues and do us all a favour!! Ex-wives are not all the same!!! Get used to it - some of us can actually communicate and work together really well!!!


            Teddie - Congratulations!! I'm really happy to hear that this went so well!! ((hugs))
            Thanks for the kind words, things are looking up! I will definitely keep my guard up a bit but the main thing is trying get back on my feet and enjoying my time with my kids. Now that the financial uncertainty and stress over legal fees is past, I hope that my ex will be a little more relaxed. Time will tell.

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            • #7
              Congratulations, Teddie!

              I keep a computer calendar (Outlook) with the kid's schedules, any changes week to week, doctor's appointments, school trips, fees paid, etc. etc. If necessary it's easy to go back and make notes about the past years. No harm in keeping records.

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              • #8
                ur right Cbarker ..some of you gals do get along and it's only because your ex's have no money to take .."in the majority of situations". It seems ur so happy with your situation your trolling here for who?....your unhappy gal pals?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mess View Post
                  Congratulations, Teddie!

                  I keep a computer calendar (Outlook) with the kid's schedules, any changes week to week, doctor's appointments, school trips, fees paid, etc. etc. If necessary it's easy to go back and make notes about the past years. No harm in keeping records.
                  Thanks! Keeping a spreadsheet is a great idea. I currently use my phone but it's not the most user friendly software so I might switch to an Excel spreadsheet. Keeping records will never stop until my kids are out of the house.

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                  • #10
                    Happy for you.....but this could be only round one over...keep a calender and document everything, your a parent but a court ordered one which ain't exactly a normal parent, and women tend to ignore court orders if they don't like them(and get away with it) keep your guard up at all times till the kids are 18 years old.
                    And again: You, sir, are an idiot.
                    Last edited by blinkandimgone; 05-07-2012, 01:22 PM. Reason: the voices told me to...

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by theborg View Post
                      Happy for you.....but this could be only round one over...keep a calender and document everything, your a parent but a court ordered one which ain't exactly a normal parent, and women tend to ignore court orders if they don't like them(and get away with it) keep your guard up at all times till the kids are 18 years old.
                      Really???? Hmmmm, my ex and I have 3 court orders that he dragged me into court to get and then promptly ignored each one! He's now been stopped in his tracks and is not allowed any more crazy waste-the-court's-time action until he's paid his arrears. If only he could be prevented beyond that. Yup, always the woman's fault for sure.

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                      • #12
                        I was gonna say it was about money but u cleared that up with arrears, how's his relationship with his kid(s) did you finish that off yet....the guys a real louse for not being able to follow through with things hopefully you've been booting him through job losses to get your money..I'm sure your so loving and innocent that looking for a job for yourself is out of the question all that matters is he pays.

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                        • #13
                          Pretty presumptuos of you to assume that because a man is responsible for paying child support it must mean that mom is unemployed. Newsflash: people are responsible to pay CS even if the other spouse is employed!

                          Do you do nothing but sit around and try to come up with conspiracy theories against women to explain why you lost your case?

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                          • #14
                            the only thing people can't do anything about is there enviroment...like africians in drought areas. that said...Historically men where always given the kids because of money, security, discipline that was a no brainer not too long ago...late 60's, 70's everything changed the feminist where tossing all the dads out the window for free love but keeping the guys kid....basically it morphed into "nuthins better than momma love" and threw all the men under the bus by labelling them deadbeats and incapable of raising kids like single moms do today....so no conspiracy theory here. like I said above instead of whining about money get another job depending on age of kid of course and ask her ex to watch the kid more when she works more... bet he'd gladly help. other than that she's using money to get rid of him

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                            • #15
                              So you don't believe that fathers have an obligation to support their children financially after divorce?

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