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  • #16
    Originally posted by Clean View Post
    Isn't this the way that most divorces play out though? Kids last? Mine is (at least on her side). It's sad really.
    1. Money
    2. Power and control
    3. Kids

    It is sad.

    I will be taking his offer. Hopefully it'll all be settled soon. I wonder if he wants his new chosen schedule to start now? WOW! Still in shock!

    Thanks Everyone!

    Comment


    • #17
      The order will be done to reflect all that. I'm going to say it again: there are many good dads out there who do want and would exercise a more shared parenting plan but it appears some dads are perfectly fine with the EOW thing. In a 2 month span, our "Wednesdays" that in his words, he "fought for" - occur about once, maybe twice.

      He's also cancelled some of his EOW access wknds. There are plenty of dads out there that adapt very quickly to their new freedom. My ex (before his long overdue departure) was insisting he would not see the child (8 yrs old at the time) and that he would have "more kids/a new family" with someone else.

      As shockingly brutal of a statement that is, it's one of the more truthful things he ever said. And it's pretty close to exactly what he's done. Good Riddance. Son is a few years older now, and I couldn't ask for a more happy, well-adjusted child. The EOW is usually on track, save for a few interruptions of 4-5 weeks (!!) and it is what it is. I fully expect in the next 2 yrs or so, he will "lose" the new family too. It's not an IF thing.. It's a WHEN thing.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by hadenough View Post
        Or in the words of comedian Russell Peters, "Take it and Go."
        HaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAH! I LOVE Peters. Probably my fave comedian.

        I can totally see the case conference: You stand up (not forgetting the facial expression and arm/hand gesture) and say "THAT is my offer to settle: take it and go"

        LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

        (oops, got carried away)

        To the OP: You can't force someone to be a parent, and if that other party doesn't want to be a parent or put the kids first, you'd be doing the kids a disservice by making them waste their time with a shitty dad (in this case). I *think* that this one is a no-brainer.

        Cheers!

        Gary
        Last edited by Gary M; 04-06-2012, 10:36 AM.

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        • #19
          I agree Gary! And lol - I use Peter's line often and how can you not totally picture the WAY he says it, and the classic arm/hand move?? OMG that would be hilarious in Court.

          Tracy: You GO GIRL - TAKE IT.... And GO
          Last edited by hadenough; 04-06-2012, 10:41 AM.

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          • #20
            So I just I tried to iron out some details with the ex. He’s now saying he only wants this as a temporary order? His lawyer made a mess of his Answer. I actually got 2 and both have contradicting things in them. One says one thing and the other says something else. Should he not have put what he actually wanted for access in it? Just confused now and he still won’t give me a straight answer on what he actually wants. Sheesh! I just want this settled.

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            • #21
              T123: You're not going to get ANY "straight" answers from your ex. Do not discuss this with him. Have your lawyer deal with his lawyer. It's highly advisable you leave this up to Counsel. Of course you want things over with ("settled") - but you will only impede things by communicating with him on these issues.

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              • #22
                Thanks for the tip hadenough!

                Why do people have to be so freaken difficult?!? One step forward 15 back?

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                • #23
                  His BS is also going to run up your bill w/your lawyer if you are reporting all this nonsense from him, to your lawyer. My ex used to text me/email me the craziest garbage. That he had a lien on my house, that he "knew" things I didn't know - and perhaps one of the nuttiest: that "all the lawyers and judges" were laughing at me. (?!?)

                  (He's a crack pot.)

                  You cannot discuss these matters with your ex. Period. End of.

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                  • #24
                    His BS is also going to run up your bill w/your lawyer if you are reporting all this nonsense from him, to your lawyer. My ex used to text me/email me the craziest garbage. That he had a lien on my house, that he "knew" things I didn't know - and perhaps one of the nuttiest: that "all the lawyers and judges" were laughing at me. (?!?)

                    (He's a crack pot.)

                    You cannot discuss these matters with your ex. Period. End of.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                      (He's a crack pot.)
                      haha sounds like what I'm dealing with! His answer was really hard to follow and with having two of them with differnt things on them made it worse. On one he actually asked me for spousal support! He makes more then me and I didn't even ask for it! If I ran to my lawyer every time he acted like a nut job, well let's just say my bill would be OUTRAGEOUS! Thanks so much for the help!

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                      • #26
                        Oops. Sorry about that double-post. No idea HOW I did that.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Tracy123 View Post
                          If I ran to my lawyer every time he acted like a nut job, well let's just say my bill would be OUTRAGEOUS!
                          thousands of dollars just for my lawyer to read the bs we get sent. Not even worth responding to. When i say BS, i mean BS. unjustified, counterproductive, insulting, accusatory BS. High conflict people are great, aren't they Tracy?

                          Just document it and file it away for later use.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Clean View Post
                            thousands of dollars just for my lawyer to read the bs we get sent. Not even worth responding to. When i say BS, i mean BS. unjustified, counterproductive, insulting, accusatory BS. High conflict people are great, aren't they Tracy?

                            Just document it and file it away for later use.
                            It's pretty rediculas when people use lawyers to inflame a situation and create more conflict. Not to mention the cost it burdens on both parties. High conflict people are AWSOME! lol At least I have this forum and a few people to trun to otherwise I'd likely go insane.

                            Always do! Sound advice.
                            Last edited by Tracy123; 04-08-2012, 03:54 PM. Reason: spelling mistake

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                            • #29
                              In the early days of my "situation" I had no one to talk to about any of this, and it would be some time before I discovered this forum. I was well trained (after 10 yrs w/an idiot) to respond to my ex's gaslighting. I think back now (with a little embarrassment) to several times when I relayed information (txts/emails) from the ex, to my lawyer. I definitely was reacting with emotion and not common sense. It took a while to develop the confidence I have now.

                              I can say with 100% certainty that I accumulated a higher legal bill due to my total lack of experience with the Family Law System. Little did I know that I would need to fight some big battles, w/people that wielded far greater 'power' and influence than me. As it turns out - I did surprisingly well, considering. (I have been dealing with more than one legal matter).

                              The TRUTH can't be buried forever.

                              "Lies have Speed, but the Truth has Endurance." (No, I didn't make that up myself ) There's still some truths that need to emerge. I know for a fact, that they will. Tick, Tock. In time.
                              Last edited by hadenough; 04-08-2012, 04:30 PM.

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                              • #30
                                We’re all allowed to let our emotions get the best of us every once and awhile. It’s what makes us human. It’s hard not to vent to your lawyer when dealing with unreasonable people. Unfortunately, they’ve seen and heard it all. They’ll listen and charge you for it. lol It’s bound to happen in these types of situations, especially when you’re dealing with completely unreasonable nut jobs.
                                Ignore my spelling mistakes in my previous post. I tried to get them all. Mental exhaustion perhaps?

                                Comment

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