Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Death of sole custody parent

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I don't have any legal advice to give. I'm stuck in the broken system as well losing all my equity but I do have my kids. But I know the pain you speak of. Your situation has been weighing on my heart. Know that i am praying for you. Without my faith the last 7 years I would not be standing. At the risk of sounding too " religiousy" faith is cheaper than counselling and is working for me. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Mummaa222 View Post
      The nearest lawyer would be minimum of a 2 hour drive away and would therefore cost much more. We literally live in the middle of nowhere.


      The only time you’d have to pay your lawyer travel would be for a court date. Other than that you go to the lawyer or do everything via email. I understand it’s going to be more expensive than you’d like but it’s going to be cheaper than losing your children and having to continuously go back to court.

      Ask about unbundled services with an out of town lawyer, you’d at least be able to get advice on which form to use and file


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

      Comment


      • You can also ask the duty lawyer at the court house.

        Comment


        • Does anyone know where to find a Consent form? Unless I'm completely blind or missing something there is no form for Consent in the Family Law Rules Forms.

          His lawyer's words: "I will consent to an Order that she amend her pleadings to seek custody" So do I use Form 25 Order (general)?

          I think his/her lawyer has been throwing hints out to me for the past 2 days on what to do with the words she's been using in communicating. She also called me yesterday for the first time ever...asked me what a final outcome looked like for me and I told her "I want my babies and giving up on them or having them think that I gave up or even once thought about giving up isn't an option for me...They need their mommy!" I'm sure she could hear the tears in my voice and I've seen her cry at our last court appearance and she has also looked me in the eye in court and said "those girls need their mom" so even though most times I see her as an evil lawyer who's out to get me, I sometimes see her as "rooting" for me because she knows what's going on but her hands are tied. I'm sure that's just wishful thinking though...but it helps me to keep going.

          Comment


          • The lawyer basically has to Consent, so don’t interpret that as being on your side - a Judge would be very disappointed in her if she didn’t, and Order the Amended Pleadings be accepted without consent. She isn’t on your side and she is (very wisely) gathering intel on you and your position. Be very, very guarded in what you say to her.

            You can file your Amended Pleadings (you must follow the Rules exactly or the Clerk won’t accept them) and attach the email giving consent to the NOS.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by tilt View Post
              You can file your Amended Pleadings (you must follow the Rules exactly or the Clerk won’t accept them) and attach the email giving consent to the NOS.
              The Rules don't specify which Forms to amend. That's what I'm not understanding. I have a Motion to Change form, a Change of Information form, a Change of Information form with exhibits, and a Form 35.1 that were all filed by my lawyer in 2017. So do I amend all of them? Also, can I add new information to them? It has been almost 3 years so a lot has happened in that time.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by tilt View Post
                She isn’t on your side and she is (very wisely) gathering intel on you and your position. Be very, very guarded in what you say to her.
                The only thing I've really said to her is that my intentions haven't changed and that even if I'm not able to obtain a lawyer I will not be giving up on my girls. As difficult and stressful and exhausting as this has been, that isn't an option.
                This isn't even about me and the step-mom...this is about doing what my mother's instinct and my gut and also my evidence tells me to do. My girls and I were beginning to bond and our visits were going amazing anf then my 14 year old suddenly decided that she never wanted to see me or her siblings or even her grandmother with whom she was very close...and my 10 year old just followed what her sister said. There's something absolutely not right happening and someway, somehow I will make someone listen. How I do it is my problem right now.

                I'm actually pretty good at composing my material, when I know which Forms I need to use to do so. The Judge told me that he was very impressed with my Trial Management Brief and with my recommendations and that he'd actually go with what I recommended. At each court appearance he has mentioned my brief and recommendations so something must have stuck out to him. I know I can do this! I just wish there was some way to find out more about forms and procedures.

                Comment


                • Your “pleadings” are your original Application. So you file Form 8 with all changes underlined and follow the instructions in Rule 11 about noting the date and Rule in the margins of each changed page. Since you are amending custody you also file all the necessary documention that is referred to in a rule 11.

                  Comment


                  • Sorry, I just re-read, you would file your Motion to Change - NOT your Application. Your Motion to Change is your Pleadings.

                    The information you are looking for about Forms is in the Rules, and specific information for each Courthouse is in the Practise Notes. Most libraries have a law dictionary, so when you come across a word you are unsure of look up the word in a Canadian Law dictionary (which usually leads to looking up words in the definition until you figure it out).
                    Last edited by tilt; 11-29-2019, 09:10 AM. Reason: Typos. Gah

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by tilt View Post
                      Sorry, I just re-read, you would file your Motion to Change - NOT your Application. Your Motion to Change is your Pleadings.

                      The information you are looking for about Forms is in the Rules, and specific information for each Courthouse is in the Practise Notes. Most libraries have a law dictionary, so when you come across a word you are unsure of look up the word in a Canadian Law dictionary (which usually leads to looking up words in the definition until you figure it out).
                      That's what I meant by his lawyer giving me hints...In just one email she used the words motion to change, pleadings, and application when referring to me amending to seek custody. It's little things like that. I'm sure it's just my imagination but it helps me to keep going somehow.

                      I'm beginning to understand, I think! What I'd like to do is basically rewrite my whole motion to change...the original filed by the lawyer I had at the time has caused many problems right from the beginning because he didn't say even close to what I wanted to say.
                      He only referred to events 1 year prior while my ex's lawyer referred to events 5 years prior. In their answer they submitted 376 pages of text messages...my lawyer submitted a few months of texts even though I had given him years of texts that show the alienation progressing.

                      So can I do that? I mean, all she can do is not consent right? If it doesn't say I can't do it in the Rules then can I? I'm sure I'm not asking the question properly but I'm so exhausted. I haven't slept more than 5-6 hours in a night since I began representing myself. I've been reading and writing and thinking non-stop. This has to end soon...it's not healthy for anyone involved...especially my 4 kids who are affected the most by all of it.

                      Comment


                      • the lawyer I had at the time has caused many problems right from the beginning because he didn't say even close to what I wanted to say.
                        He only referred to events 1 year prior while my ex's lawyer referred to events 5 years prior. In their answer they submitted 376 pages of text messages...my lawyer submitted a few months of texts even though I had given him years of texts that show the alienation progressing.


                        Your lawyer sounds like they knew what they were doing and was more competent than their lawyer. Your lawyer also sounds like they were keeping a lid on your legal costs. Their lawyer is running up billable hours which then translates into billable hours for you to pay. Drop the alienation angle, it will get you nowhere except spending a lot of money on assessments you won’t (expensively) agree with.

                        Fight the battles you can win, based on law, not emotions. This is where an objective, reasonable lawyer will guide you - focusing on now and the future, not five years in the past and ten thousand dollars in billable hours ago.

                        Comment


                        • So here's a new one...they've been instructed to bring a Motion asking for a bunch of things but basically she wants sole of my kids, child support, and for me to not have any access or contact ever again.

                          The odd thing to me is that they served an affidavit by the legal assistant saying that they were instructed to do all these things.

                          Is that a normal thing to do??

                          Comment


                          • They are never going to get a no access order. Even a drug smoking, alcoholic, who has physically abused the other parent and sexually abused the kids will get access. About the only way a parent will ever be denied access permanently is if they have murdered the other parent and are incarcerated or the CAS has taken the children away from BOTH parents. Otherwise it doesn’t matter what the other parent has done, if they are asking for access they will get it. They’d have better luck getting a ruling for finding you in contempt for daring to breath and be alive than to get a no access order.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Stillbreathing View Post
                              About the only way a parent will ever be denied access permanently is if they have murdered the other parent
                              According to the step-mother I killed him and I'm sure if his/her lawyer would allow that to be put in there it would be.


                              Originally posted by Stillbreathing View Post
                              They’d have better luck getting a ruling for finding you in contempt for daring to breath and be alive than to get a no access order.
                              I'm sure she'd love for this to be a thing too lol!

                              I'm thinking maybe the reason the assistant swore an affidavit saying they were instructed to do these things is because they're not in agreement with what she's asking for but have to do what their client says.

                              She wants me to pay an $8,000 security if I to ever bring it back to court after a final ruling, assuming she gets sole custody with no access to me.

                              She also wants $15,000 costs if I amend my Motion to Change to seek custody...which I am serving them with on Monday along with my Response to their Notice of Motion.

                              They emailed the Notice to me at 4:20 yesterday afternoon saying that it should have been served to me on Wednesday but they had not yet completed it so they're asking that the time to serve me be abridged (second time they've pulled this crap). They're apparently serving me with a hardcopy on Monday.

                              We have assignment court scheduled for December 19th and now she wants that made into a Motion hearing instead.

                              I've got a lot of work to do this weekend ugh. I've already been struggling with knowing I won't be seeing or even talking to my girls at Christmas and now they pull this. I've had to send my 4 year old daughter to my mom's for the weekend just to be able to do this. This is so unfair!

                              Comment


                              • If it is going to be a Motion heading be sure to file a Motion Record with a VERY thorough factum citing current case law.

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X