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  • #46
    Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
    Precisely ^^^


    Thank the lord some posters see it. Angie has recorded her children, denied an equal relationship and literally b**c** and moans over the tiniest issues. Even with all the crap my ex did to me, I'm so happy she's not like that (nor am I).

    Angie knew before even starting the thread that all she had to do was accept it and put in the clause somewhere that she keep her holidays, etc or that makeup time be given. This is not hard. It's just a place for her to continue her emotional outbursts on her ex.

    Given her past remarks about his new g/f, such as "She organizes his life" and "she's high maintenance", I'm sensing some hard feelings about this wedding, which isn't completely abnormal since it's a man you once loved and had kids with. More may be at play here than scheduling.

    Take it from me. The more you relax with the scheduling thing, the better off you (and most importantly the kids) will be.

    This should have been a one page thread. "He wants kids for wedding"--->"I will put in clause that I still get vacation and/or makeup time". Done.


    Ha LF - you're always good for a laugh!!
    [emoji6][emoji12]


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    • #47
      Originally posted by Ange71727 View Post
      Ha LF - you're always good for a laugh!!
      [emoji6][emoji12]


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
      Oh Angie .. let the couple choose a date for their wedding that they want. Let the kids go to the wedding. Put in writing that you want the make up time. Now relax and love life.

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      • #48
        Really, Ange, to simplify as suggested -

        You should just calm down, stop with the emotional outbursts and merely accept what your ex wants to do with the children and when he wants to do it with them.

        After all, he likely knows better. Focus on getting over your emotional attachment to a man you once loved.

        Just relax, and you and your children will be better off. Love life.

        eta: I had to add some more roll eye smilies.
        Last edited by mcdreamy; 10-09-2017, 07:47 PM.
        Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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        • #49
          Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
          Really, Ange, to simplify as suggested -

          You should just calm down, stop with the emotional outbursts and merely accept what your ex wants to do with the children and when he wants to do it with them.

          After all, he likely knows better. Focus on getting over your emotional attachment to a man you once loved.

          Just relax, and you and your children will be better off. Love life.

          eta: I had to add some more roll eye smilies.


          Thanks McDreamy, I will try to make time to love life more in between my emotional outbursts, tantrums, recording my kids, pining away after a man I separated from in 2008 (wow I take a long time to get over things) and performing voodoo spells on my ex's girlfriend. It will be hard to work it in but I'll try!!

          [emoji6]🤣[emoji849][emoji849][emoji849]


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          • #50
            Originally posted by len14 View Post
            I'm pretty sure children sharing in their father's marriage is in the best interest of the children - it's a lifetime event for their new formed family with their father. It should be a moot point. Not agreeing to something as basic as being flexible to ensure that your children participate in such a special occasion in their lives is a bad move. Their wedding should be about them, their family and their extended friends- it shouldn't be about managing the children's and your schedule. It's a one time thing for crying out loud! Good on dad for thinking forward and trying to hammer out anything that may cause conflict in the future. You are well on your way to raising some entitled little snowflakes if you think it's in the 'best interest of the children' to not disrupt in their routine for the sake of their father's special day.



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            You know this is a divorce site, right?

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            • #51
              Originally posted by trinton View Post
              If referring to single mom's as cuntjobs is too vulgar for this forums then so is referring to single dad's as dickheads.

              .
              She didn't refer to him as a dickhead, but that his request was. Huge difference. My child says purposely silly things all the time like, 'I love to fart!' and then I say, 'You're such a farthead!'. This does not, unequivocally, make my child a fart, kwim?

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              • #52
                I believe I was the one who referred to him as a dickhead and he has been behaving as one. Demanding to have his kids less than 50% of the time on his schedule, not wanting to participate in important aspects of their lives and bitching about not being involved, demanding to not be a part of supporting their kids post secondary education and then holding agreement finalization hostage over a clause for a potential wedding are all dickhead moves. I also refer to my partners ex by various names because she pulls bonehead moves all the time.

                Some posters need to understand that just because they have a difficult ex doesnt mean others think you are a bad person. Trinton for example you are a hands on parent who is dealing with a horrible ex wife. I cant see you making dickhead moves like anges ex is. There is a difference between reasonable and unreasonable. Many of us see that.

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                • #53
                  Originally posted by ensorcelled View Post
                  You know this is a divorce site, right?


                  Yes 'divorce', defined as the legal dissolution of a marriage contract. Not a drama website where the scorned come to belly ache about what they think they're entitled to.


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                  • #54
                    Originally posted by len14 View Post
                    Yes 'divorce', defined as the legal dissolution of a marriage contract. Not a drama website where the scorned come to belly ache about what they think they're entitled to.


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                    Divorce by its very nature usually results in scorned parties. Most people here post about their exes in a not so flattering way. If you consider some people dramatic, I wonder why you'd comment on those posts and why you wouldn't rather stick to the black and white, legal info kinds of posts. Also, I know for me anyway, this forum can be a place to discuss a stressful situation that I can't always bring up with my current husband, because it's not exactly healthy to talk about the ex with the hubby. Drama is created when people disagree and challenge each other, which inevitably occurs here. Just because some posters are polarizing, it doesn't make them drama queens (and kings[emoji12]).


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                    • #55
                      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                      I believe I was the one who referred to him as a dickhead and he has been behaving as one. Demanding to have his kids less than 50% of the time on his schedule, not wanting to participate in important aspects of their lives and bitching about not being involved, demanding to not be a part of supporting their kids post secondary education and then holding agreement finalization hostage over a clause for a potential wedding are all dickhead moves. I also refer to my partners ex by various names because she pulls bonehead moves all the time.

                      Some posters need to understand that just because they have a difficult ex doesnt mean others think you are a bad person. Trinton for example you are a hands on parent who is dealing with a horrible ex wife. I cant see you making dickhead moves like anges ex is. There is a difference between reasonable and unreasonable. Many of us see that.
                      I don't think he is a dickhead or acting like a dick head at all. just wants to be able to plan and enjoy his wedding without the who he presumably believes to be a gatekeeping cuntjob sticking her nose in it. You took a peice of gum from my gumpack now you have to give me a piece back. You want a cigarette from my pack? you have to sign a contract to give me one back. It's a one time wedding for a non custodial parent likely under 20% access. Give it a break and stop hugging all the time.

                      Is makeup time for a week for his wedding really that big of a deal breaker to You? All that effort and time to settle the case to waste because you want your one piece of gum back.
                      Last edited by trinton; 10-10-2017, 10:48 PM.

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                      • #56
                        Someone else posted that at least your ex is focusing on any potential conflict that may arise, instead of throwing it at you last minute. There's nothing wrong with this type of planning and communication. I'm still trying to figure out how asking for access on the week of his marriage is a dick thing to do. What am I missing?

                        I have a feeling that his lawyer sees what I (and others) here do. He's predicting that you will be difficult, high conflict and try to make him plan his wedding around your vacations or whatever is going on in your life at that time.

                        What I've learned thus far is that dates are just dates. I didn't have D6 this weekend for Thanksgiving .. I'm having it next weekend with the whole fam instead. No problem. Sometimes my ex gets more and sometimes I do.

                        What Tayken, Arabian and many others pointed out in the very beginning is so true ... parenting time, vacation time, etc all seems to equal out in the end. The faster I realized this, the better my quality of life became. And when your quality of life improves, your kids benefit. If you read carefully, it's sound advice .. from somebody who's been through it (and will be the rest of my life).

                        So what's your plan? Are you going to send him a letter outlining the dates that you permit him to get married with his children present?

                        I read a lot about controlling behavior on your threads and I'm learning more and more about how your cognitive faculties operate with each post you write. I truly hope that the children get to experience this very special time with him without all of the unnecessary drama that seems to be stirring up.
                        Last edited by LovingFather32; 10-10-2017, 11:02 PM.

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                        • #57
                          Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post

                          What Tayken, Arabian and many others pointed out in the very beginning is so true ... parenting time, vacation time, etc all seems to equal out in the end. The faster I realized this, the better my quality of life became. And when your quality of life improves, your kids benefit. If you read carefully, it's sound advice .. from somebody who's been through it (and will be the rest of my life).
                          That's not necessarily true for the so called dick head here. How can he possibly sustain a quality relationship with hid kids without sufficient quantity of time? The whole constitution has to be re-written when he wants his kids for his wedding for crying out loud.

                          Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                          So what's your plan? Are you going to send him a letter outlining the dates that you permit him to get married with his children present?
                          And several pages of terms and conditions including that she gets final say in his new partners wedding dress because she has sole custody, but she will inform him of the decision and provide him with the receipt when a payment is due.


                          Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                          I read a lot about controlling behavior on your threads and I'm learning more and more about how your cognitive faculties operate with each post you write. I truly hope that the children get to experience this very special time with him without all of the unnecessary drama that seems to be stirring up.
                          This whole thread is about her control of his rights. I sure hope the best for the kids caught in this bitter custody dispute as well. Ange will do whatever in her power to keep dad from getting that extra 5% that would put him at 40% at any given year. It's a number game.
                          Last edited by trinton; 10-11-2017, 12:19 AM.

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                          • #58
                            Originally posted by trinton View Post
                            That's not necessarily true for the so called dick head here. How can he possibly sustain a quality relationship with hid kids without sufficient quantity of time? The whole constitution has to be re-written when he wants his kids for his wedding for crying out loud.







                            And several pages of terms and conditions including that she gets final say in his new partners wedding dress because she has sole custody, but she will inform him of the decision and provide him with the receipt when a payment is due.









                            This whole thread is about her control of his rights. I sure hope the best for the kids caught in this bitter custody dispute as well. Ange will do whatever in her power to keep dad from getting that extra 5% that would put him at 40% at any given year. It's a number game.


                            Enter Exhibit A for the scorned and drama seeking. ^^^


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                            • #59
                              Oh jesus. Would some of you go back and read some of the things her ex has done and asked for. Remember this is a man who holds their settlement hostage every time they get close to settling and HE WAS THE ONE who started this process.

                              In my opinion, if you are going to start this long and expensive process you come to the table with all your demands up front. As in "I want 50/50, I want to pay little child support, I want equal decision making power, I want x number of weeks vacation, I want the freedom to make the decision on my vacation by March 15, I want to not pay university costs" etc. My partners lawyer actually told him to write a list of everything he wants and what he is willing to settle for so he can go in and negotiate ONCE. Every time they get to the end the ex comes back saying he wants something more and he wont sign unless she gives it to him. Added to that his requests are mot even reasonable! He has demonstrated he only cares about himself.

                              Honestly! Tell me this LF32, trinton et al, if you were negotiating for 50/50 with your ex, would you have held up the process for ridiculous requests like making sure your week of vacation had the words "for my wedding"? She said she will give him the time with make up time. She wanted to know whether or not it was normal to HOLD UP THE PROCESS for ongoing requests.

                              If anyone wants to continue the drama and drawn out process its her ex.

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                              • #60
                                To me, this just follows her ex's pattern of only wanting the kids when he has time off work, instead of doing what normal parents do and parenting/working simultaneously.

                                He wants a clause that lets him have the kids for extra time on the one occasion he's sure to be booking time off work.

                                Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                                Someone else posted that at least your ex is focusing on any potential conflict that may arise, instead of throwing it at you last minute. There's nothing wrong with this type of planning and communication. I'm still trying to figure out how asking for access on the week of his marriage is a dick thing to do. What am I missing?
                                I think what's missing is her assumption (presumably evidenced-based on past conflict) that her ex will deliberately choose a wedding date that interferes with her access schedule and/or plans for the children.

                                Originally posted by trinton View Post
                                This whole thread is about her control of his rights. I sure hope the best for the kids caught in this bitter custody dispute as well. Ange will do whatever in her power to keep dad from getting that extra 5% that would put him at 40% at any given year. It's a number game.
                                I always interpreted her threads as being about HIS control of HER rights, and how she can best avoid that.

                                Ange, what about a clause that goes something like this:

                                One extra week of access to dad for his destination wedding with six months notice.

                                That way if he gets married in town, he doesn't get the kids for a whole extra week. If he books well in advance (as weddings usually are), he gets a whole week. If he books spur of the moment, he better make sure it's on his own time.

                                Honestly though, most agreements have a vague clause that just goes like "additional access as agreed upon by the parents" and if he feels that isn't sufficient, that you are likely to not agree even for his own wedding and he needs a more specific clause, you may want to look at why.

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