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  • #31
    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
    Canada is no fault divorce land so you�re out of luck with your �I didn�t ask for this� argument.

    His income is different for spousal and child support. You can�t say that just because he can afford all this help that you should get the same. His household finances are not relevant to yours. You could have gone out and found a sugar daddy and if he was penniless, he would still be obligated to pay his share even though you have someone to pay your bills. You are not entitled to things just because he has them and continuing to fight for what you aren�t entitled to will only make it worse.

    Stop comparing his lifestyle to yours. You quit your job and opened your own business. You created an imbalance in your households. As Kinso said, you can�t split two houses and expect to have the same situation as before. That�s not how it works.

    Bottom line is you need to get real with yourself on what you are entitled to. You had four years to get your shit together and didn�t. Your ex is not responsible for you because you didn�t realize you needed to stand on your own two feet.
    My lawyer advised me to consider hiring a full time housekeeper in addition to my nanny so I can show high expenses even though we didn't have this during the marriage. Are you saying his advice is wrong? He seems to be off the opinion the higher my expenses, my current debt and my moderate income, combined with my ex husbands luxurious lifestyle he will be able to potentially argue for spousal support until my kids turn 18 which is in at least another 10 years from now.

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    • #32
      Its bad advice. Not to mention when he is unsuccessful arguing it, you will have all of those expenses plus your legal fees and potentially your ex husband’s fees. If you can’t afford it yourself and you didn’t have it during the marriage then there is no chance you are going to “win” those expenses.

      Remember that spousal is to get you on your feet to be self sufficient. You didnt have a long marriage and you are still young and able to work.

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      • #33
        Q

        My lawyer advised me to consider hiring a full time housekeeper in addition to my nanny so I can show high expenses even though we didn't have this during the marriage. Are you saying his advice is wrong? He seems to be off the opinion the higher my expenses, my current debt and my moderate income, combined with my ex husbands luxurious lifestyle he will be able to potentially argue for spousal support until my kids turn 18 which is in at least another 10 years from now.
        Q. Ma'am did you have a housekeeper prior to the date of separation?

        A: No.

        Q. Why did you hire a housekeeper after you separated?

        A: My lawyer told me to to increase my spousal support claim.

        *Insert judicial crucifixion*

        Please bring a blank cheque to the court house, as your husband will be leaving with whatever will clear.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by Kinso View Post
          Q. Ma'am did you have a housekeeper prior to the date of separation?

          A: No.

          Q. Why did you hire a housekeeper after you separated?

          A: My lawyer told me to to increase my spousal support claim.

          *Insert judicial crucifixion*

          Please bring a blank cheque to the court house, as your husband will be leaving with whatever will clear.
          I wonder also if the judge will be made aware that she is taking a pay cut while paying her boyfriend a full salary?

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          • #35
            Absolutely.

            Trueblue22, get a second opinion.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              Its bad advice. Not to mention when he is unsuccessful arguing it, you will have all of those expenses plus your legal fees and potentially your ex husband�s fees. If you can�t afford it yourself and you didn�t have it during the marriage then there is no chance you are going to �win� those expenses.

              Remember that spousal is to get you on your feet to be self sufficient. You didnt have a long marriage and you are still young and able to work.
              I was together with my ex for about 11 years. Isn't that more mid to long not short? I looked up some cases on Canlii like this forum recommended and I see that women with my length of marriage gets closer to 8 to 12 years of spousal support as long as my ex is able to pay.

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              • #37
                Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                I wonder also if the judge will be made aware that she is taking a pay cut while paying her boyfriend a full salary?
                He can't prove it. He doesn't have any of my business financial statements but I know he suspects something since I introduced my new boyfriend to my kids by accident.

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                • #38
                  He can't prove it.
                  That's what cross examination is for.

                  Are you going to lie under oath?

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                  • #39
                    Not to mention you have to give disclosure.

                    Were any of those cases even remotely similar to yours where the wife was earning 150k and gave up her job either near or after separation to start a business? I have a feeling you are picking and choosing elements of cases and assuming you will get the same for one minor reason.

                    The fact that you gave up a good paying job will be key in your ex’s argument for no more ss. You were fully self sufficient but you quit and expected him to pay your way.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
                      He can't prove it. He doesn't have any of my business financial statements but I know he suspects something since I introduced my new boyfriend to my kids by accident.
                      no one does that by accident lol

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                        no one does that by accident lol
                        I had introduced him as a friend over 1.5 year ago and my kids asked a question about me dating and I wasn't really paying attention so I confirmed he was my boyfriend.

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by Kinso View Post
                          That's what cross examination is for.

                          Are you going to lie under oath?
                          Well my boyfriend and I can break up before court proceedings. I don't see why his income should be added to mine. He's doing legitimate work but he did only have part time hours in the beginning with a full time salary.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                            Not to mention you have to give disclosure.

                            Were any of those cases even remotely similar to yours where the wife was earning 150k and gave up her job either near or after separation to start a business? I have a feeling you are picking and choosing elements of cases and assuming you will get the same for one minor reason.

                            The fact that you gave up a good paying job will be key in your ex�s argument for no more ss. You were fully self sufficient but you quit and expected him to pay your way.
                            The official record shows I was let go without cause. It just wasn't a good fit.

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                            • #44
                              But you were able to get and hold a job. Telling a judge it wasn’t a good fit while you’re asking for more ss than you are entitled to just makes you high maintenance.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
                                Well my boyfriend and I can break up before court proceedings. I don't see why his income should be added to mine. He's doing legitimate work but he did only have part time hours in the beginning with a full time salary.

                                Just keep digging your hole there.


                                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                                Comment

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